So Oracle "devoured" Siebel and "aggressively" "snapped up" HotSip. Now it "has MySQL by the throat." Why so harsh? Isn't Larry Ellison a caring, friendly guy with a caring, friendly company?

When Hollywood makes its Oracle movie ("All Your Database Are Belong to Us"), I hope the casting director has connections. Because Larry Ellison should be played by no lesser man than Chuck Norris.

Beware the Valentine-tie-in press release. The Register gets cute about the crap that companies send the press. [The Register]
New Internet — all the stuff that wasn't wrong with Old Internet. [Techdirt]
Larry Ellison will eat anything. The latest Oracle acquisition is another open source firm. [CNet]
Oh, that's rich. "I failed my Google exam. Ergo, Google will die." [Craigslist]
Jeff Veen's letter to early Measure Map users: "You can expect great things from this acquisition." Sure, like with Blogger and Dodgeball. [Yugatech]

Larry Ellison thinks he's God. Steve Jobs rules the Cult of Mac. The mogul pals spend millions to build shiny white toys — Larry his giant boat, Jobs his tiny pods. Which of these bears has the fiercer growl?

AOL vice chairman Ted Leonsis opens his blog to the public; linking to Jason Calacanis somehow fails to get above Blogebrity's C-list. [Ted's Take via Blogebrity]
How not to answer a job ad: "more details about you gets more details about me." [The Post Money Value]
Oracle fires 2,000 people after its Siebel buyout. Thankfully, they can all live comfortably in Larry Ellison's yacht. [Register]
Sketchiest Suicide Girls description ever: "It's a blogging site for people with awesome tattoos and piercings. You'd be perfect!" He forgot to mention, you know, the porn part. [Niall Kennedy]
Old and busted vs. new hotness [Yahoo on Flickr]:

Got a few million and looking for a CEO home to buy? Good luck getting these guys to sell their mansions, but Zillow at least lets you know the estimated values. And, well, either the estimations suck, or Larry Ellison is content with much less in Woodside than his old Atherton place.

The public exposure of letters from Larry Ellison's accountant raises a privacy issue, to be sure. What guidance could the Oracle founder himself give us?

Larry Ellison isn't the only one with multi-million-dollar real estate and a pleasure-dome on the sea. The billionaires of the tech industry have a proud tradition of ringing up ridiculous bills.

Larry Ellison's Japanese-style estate in Woodside has been for sale since May 2005, when he listed it for $25 million. The estate was modeled after a Imperial Age Japanese village, so authentically that Ellison had to battle to get real toilets instead of the more accurate holes in the ground. But the villa is being shopped — maybe he actually listened to his accountant. Now Ellison stays in his home on San Francisco's Broadway, where he can spend his money in front of a bigger audience.

Thought the yacht that gave ulcers to Larry Ellison's accountant was extravagant? Feast your eyes on the Rising Sun. At 454 feet, it's the longest privately owned boat in the world. Master yacht designer Jon Bannenberg built it for Ellison. The design started at 300 feet and growing as Larry heard about other billionaire boats. By now, his accountant is discovering new and exciting kinds of heart attacks.

What happened to the toys that made Larry Ellison's accountant cry? Some got saved, some got sold:

Larry Ellison's accountant got emotional in his letters to the high-spending Oracle CEO. The San Francisco Chronicle got copies of accountant Philip Simon's e-mails begging Ellison to cut his billion-dollar credit line.

SAP AG exec and self-named "Israeli Assassin" Shai Agassi about competitor Oracle:

Ex-NY Post gossip columnist Chris Nolan writes in: