On tonight's episode of The Soup, we got a preview of the new season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians and learned about Khloe's true feelings for Scott Disick, the father of sister Kourtney's unborn child. Also, again: Wendy Williams!

A newly unengaged Uma Thurman heading into an office building (and avoiding questions by waiting paparazzi) ... Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz walking downtown with their son Bronx ... Sienna Miller hailing a cab downtown ... Jessica Szohr walking to the Gossip Girl set on Central Park West ... Naomi Watts pushing son Sasha in his stroller in SoHo ... Kim Kardashian arriving at Fox News ... Jessica Simpson leaving the Ritz-Carlton with Billy Corgan ... Chris Brown leaving MTV ... and Taylor Swift walking into Otto to have dinner.

Lady Gaga leaving Nobu last night after having dinner ... Cate Blanchett crossing the street in NoHo ... Sienna Miller leaving Jude Law's apartment with Jonny Lee Miller ... Kim Kardashian arriving at JFK, and later leaving the Wendy Williams Show ... Jason Bateman and Beth Ditto arriving at MTV in Times Square ... Taylor Lautner getting off a flight at JFK ... Taylor Swift walking in Midtown with a couple of bodyguards ... Rihanna arriving at JFK to catch a flight ... Taylor Momsen walking to the set of Gossip Girl ... and Rachel Uchitel going into an Equinox gym and later walking downtown with a friend.

Ashley Greene leaving The Box last night with Kings of Leon bassist Jared Followill ... Robert Pattinson out and about in the meatpacking district ... John Mayer getting out of an SUV in Times Square ... Brooke Shields shopping in SoHo ... Julian Lennon walking in Midtown with a friend ... Ed Westwick shooting scenes for Gossip Girl on Central Park West ... Cyndi Lauper exiting Roseland Ballroom through the back door ... Anderson Cooper leaving the Ralph Lauren store on his bike ... Taylor Lautner shopping at Calvin Klein ... Josh Duhamel on the set of The Romantics ... Fergie leaving her hotel ... Katie Holmes leaving a Starbucks on Long Island ... and Kim Kardashian shopping with her mom, Kris Jenner.

If only the biggest mistake (or eight) of your life was worth "millions of dollars." Porn distributor Vivid Entertainment is making a play to distribute the former Miss California's sex tapes—which it allegedly has in its possession, already.

Paris is back, bitches. Art Garfunkel: kind of a bitch. Ann Landers went to Scores with JFK Jr. Diane von Furstenburg's been drinking Pimp Juice. Sammy Sosa: white. Metal weddings: black. Michael Moore: fat. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup!

• Madonna is reportedly "taking a more active role" in promoting boy toy Jesus Luz's career. She turned up to hear him spin at the Valentino party the other night, danced with "some hot fashion guys," mingled for a little, and then they left together. But that doesn't mean she's offered to do a song with him. "There are steps!" he said. "You can't just start out and collaborate with Madonna." He also says that he always plays her stuff because, you know, "It's great." [P6, NYDN]
• After Michael Lohan released a sob-filled phone call from Lindsay yesterday, she Twittered that her dad is "such a loser"; "those recordings are from years ago"; and "he needs the book for dummies on how to be a man." She also indicted she may ask her lawyer to file a restraining order against her dad and/or sue him. So, no hopes for a reconciliation just yet then? [TMZ, NYP, Us]
• Making matters worse, there is now another recording of LiLo chatting with her mother that's been released. [Radar Online]
• Mariah Carey said she'd been a victim of emotional and mental abuse on Larry King Live last night: "To really get out, it was difficult because there was a connection that was not only a marriage but a business thing, where the person was in control of my life." Tommy Mottola, anyone? [CNN, People]

Kim Kardashian officially turns 29 today, even though she got paid $50,000 to celebrate the big event in Las Vegas last week. Judith Sheindlin, better known as Judge Judy, turns 67. Saturday Night Live co-producer Marci Klein is turning 43. Actress Carrie Fisher is 53. Patti Davis, daughter of Ronald and Nancy Reagan, turns 57. Jade Jagger, social scenester and daughter of Mick and Bianca, is turning 38. Former Xerox CEO Anne Mulcahy is 57. Liliane Bettencourt, heir to the L'Oreal fortune and the second richest person in France, is 87. And Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu turns 60 today.

• Lindsay Lohan could use a little good news today, especially since she's still dealing with the aftermath of her disastrous outing at Paris Fashion Week. Today is not going to be that day, unfortunately. Lohan is set to appear in court in LA a little later to answer questions about whether or not she's violated the terms of the probation she was given after she was busted for DUI a couple of years ago. Let's hope her powers of persuasion are in full effect. The judge could potentially sentence her to jail time, which would not only suck for LiLo, but would also leave Emmanuel Ungaro directionless, clearly. [TMZ, E!]
• Are John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston back together? Is she simply powerless to resist his advances? And have they spent the last few weeks meeting up for secret, romantic escapades around town? For the sake of Aniston's long-term mental health, let's hope none of those things are true. [Us, People]
• Go set your DVR. Tyra Banks plans to air the "first-ever televised colonic" on her show today. Just don't watch it while you're eating. [Dlisted, Tyra Show]

Jennifer Aniston's in love with someone, again. Paul McCartney's son's dreams are coming true and dying all at once. Jon and Kate are still deplorable. And Courtney Hazlett calls out Melissa Rycroft. Hoorah! It's your Friday morning gossip roundup!

Jude Law heading to lunch at August on Bleecker Street with his assistant, Ben Jackson ... Eva Mendes and Will Ferrell shooting scenes for The Other Guys on Staten Island ... Kate Hudson going to lunch at Bar Pitti with son Ryder and A-Rod ... Kim Kardashian arriving at JFK, and later leaving the Ritz-Carlton in Midtown ... Taylor Momsen standing on the set of Gossip Girl in Chinatown ... Scarlett Johansson walking to the gym with Ryan Reynolds ... and Ed Westwick eating lunch at Tortilla Flats with Jessica Szohr and his parents.

Reality TV stars artfully bare their souls on camera and in the tabloids, and even better, they do it all without a script. But a TV show is only the first step to building a brand, and now countless pseudo-celebs are milking their 15 minutes and peddling products that you couldn't possibly live without. (Or so they say!) We compiled the most promising items from the brightest minds in faux-showbiz. With these ladies' designs in your style arsenal, your look will never be the same.

• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy got married in a quiet ceremony in France a few weeks ago. Sneaky! [Life & Style]
• Emmy Rossum's husband, music exec Justin Siegel, has filed for divorce. (Their 2008 secret marriage was only discovered when the couple was reported to have split up in August.) Naturally, Siegel is asking Rossum to pay for the divorce and he's seeking spousal support, too. [TMZ, Us]
• Yet another book is coming out alleging that Bill Clinton did inappropriate things. In her new book Government Girl: Young and Female in the White House, Stacy Parker Aab claims Clinton groped her in a hotel room in 2000 and his pal Vernon Jordan tried to kiss her twice. Good thing the poor girl got this all off her cheat a mere nine years after the fact. [NYDN]

The Kardashians are richer than they should be. Michael Douglas: trying to protect his kids from cocaine. Tori Spelling's husband's ex-wife doesn't suck. A celebrity was an asshole. Courtney Love and Hugo Chavez: hooking up? Sunday Morning's Gossip Roundup:

Kelly Ripa getting a hot dog with son Joaquin ... Karolina Kurkova walking in Tribeca with fiance Archie Drury ... Agyness Deyn riding her bike to Bar Pitti ... Bar Refaeli walking near Bryant Park ... Kate Gosselin arriving at her hotel ... Shia LaBeouf riding a motorcycle while filming scenes for Wall Street 2 on Park Avenue ... Kim Kardashian walking with Jonathan Cheban in Midtown ... Jude Law talking on his cell phone outside, and later hanging out with friends in the West Village ... Megan Fox getting out of an SUV in front of Rockefeller Plaza ... Kim Cattrall walking on the Sex and the City 2 set ... Hugh Jackman unloading an SUV ... Rosie Perez waving to the crowd at the US Open ... Mary-Kate Olsen walking in Tribeca ... and Leighton Meester walking in the meatpacking district with her stylist Logan Horne.

Stephanie Pratt's wallet could use a little help. Elton John's too old for kids. And Colin Farrell knocked up his girl. That and much, much more in your Tuesday morning gossip roundup!

• If the daughter of fashion's most powerful figure can't find a job, how are those of us with less cushy connections expected to? Anna Wintour says daughter Bee Shaffer has gone on 24 job interviews since graduating from Columbia last spring, but has yet to receive a single offer. [NYDN]
• Is Tinsley Mortimer finally getting the reality show she's been dreaming about? Let's hope so! [P6]
• The good news: Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler had a rendezvous in LA the other night and were acting all lovey-dovey. The bad: Then they got in their cars and drove in totally different directions. [P6]
• Some customer tried to tip the Olsen twins during Fashion's Night Out at Bergdorf last night after they served him a drink. Did the girls keep the money? Give it back? We're going to assume the former for the time being. [NYDN]

Ana Marie Cox defended Joe Wilson, Atrios ached for Luke Russert and Kim Kardashian embraced "joyful thought." The Twitterati were ready 2 surprise U!

OK! magazine has landed a Vanity Fair-caliber contributor.

If you're an unemployed fashion/beauty editor and you can't find a job, you officially have one more reason to be depressed about your career prospects today: OK! says Kim Kardashian has joined its staff as a "contributing beauty editor." [OK!]