Designer Jill Stuart may have had enough of Lindsay Lohan's slutty shenanigans! Stuart signed the persistently famous Lohan on as the face of her brand for a big ad campaign last year, but now she is reportedly looking at Hilary Swank as a "more professional image" for her next campaign [Mixed Media]. A double standard could be in effect; a lifetime of drug use and crazy behavior by Rolling Stone Keith Richards hasn't prevented him from being picked as the new face of Louis Vuitton. If a luxury brand wants a wild celebrity fronting it, shouldn't they at least pick an attractive one? After the jump, a visual comparison of Lohan's ads with Richards' ad. See if you can tell which has lived harder.

Semi-coherent Rolling Stone Keith Richards gave a blockbuster interview to Uncut magazine in which he calls big-lipped pal Mick Jagger "a maniac," a "power freak," and "a bit vain." He also has some inspirational advice for the youngsters these days: "Lay off the dope." So says Keith Richards, ladies and gentlemen. From a regular band this might qualify as newsworthy infighting, but from the Stones, it's a safe guess that they talk worse than this to each other every day. I mean, look at how Keith treats his own fans:

· We bestow the Defamer Medal of Heroism upon Dr. Mark Lowe, who helped save the life of a man shot point blank in the middle of a crowded Colorado Blvd. in Old Town Pasadena last night, and whose clinical emphasis on the word "weed" we've now savored approximately two dozen times.
· For the love of God, we beg you not to click on this photo of Keith Richards Photoshopped to have two mouths where his eyes should be. Please! Don't! We beg of you!
· The LAT has a list about all the reasons they—gasp!—hate end-of-year lists.
· Well, whatever, LAT. We love lists. Particularly the AFI's annual Moments of Significance, which, uh...celebrate the significant moments of our lives? "The Hollywood writers strike, the iPhone and the 'hyper-tabloidization' of television news" top this year's list.
· Eddie Murphy is reportedly set to "wed any minute now in the South Pacific." That smashing sound is a hundred 4 a.m. Yukon Mining Co. patrons' hearts shattering.

Even though Keith Richards makes all the headlines for doing things like snorting his dad, it turns out that Ron Wood may have been the Rolling Stones' most accomplished drug addict. We're just happy that Wood is finally receiving the recognition he so richly deserves. [Rush & Molloy]

· He may snort his father's ashes, but Keith Richards, sir, is not—nor was he ever—superdrunk.
· This year's Detour lineup is revealed. For us it really comes down to one little word: Justice.
· We hoped we'd never have to type the words "and Bobby Trendy as Himself" in our lifetime. We were wrong.
· Paul Haggis has been suffering from a mild case of writer's block on his Casino Royale follow-up script. Look to the twins for inspiration, Paul!
· Sherry Lansing and William Friedkin are suing ADT Security Services for failing to prevent their Bel-Air home from falling victim to burglars. We know—compelling stuff.
· AfterElton takes the fall TV season's temperature, and it's colder than Lance Bass's career. Thank god we have those Cavebears!

Free of Disney's killjoy, control-freak publicity department, Keith Richards can now admit that he actually did snort his dad's ashes. And he didn't even cut the paternal cremains with cocaine! Now that's a badass move. [NME]

• Lindsay Lohan isn't going to be the new face of Louis Vuitton. Stealing their clothes at her Elle shoot might have had something to do with it. [Page Six]
  

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so don't hesitate to share those brushes with celebrity greatness with the rest of the world. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you spotted Dunder Mifflin's two most annoying employees grabbing separate, late-night bites at the 101 Café.

Good news, for once, on the literary front: The Post is reporting that Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards is shopping a memoir proposal. Make all the jokes you like about Keef not being able to remember anything, because the man keeps meticulous notes. Richards is reportedly seeking $5 million for the deal, and if the excerpt we've "obtained" is any indication, he's worth every penny: The man is one hell of a stylist.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you spotted Love Connection's Chuck Woolery in bad need of a pedicure:

While most of the world was excitedly high-fiving one another and asking, "Dude, did you see that Keith Richards totally snorted his dad? That's some messed up shit!" following the appearance of the widely circulated, but quickly denied, story about the hard-to-kill guitarist's novel method for disposing of his father's ashes, there was some moderate-level pants-crapping going on within Disney's PR department, where flacks responsible for the upcoming Pirates of the Caribbean sequel were forced to think about How Keith Richard's Blowing Of Dad-Rails Might Affect The Family-Friendly Summer Blockbuster In Which He Appears:

· Hey, guess who was kidding about snorting his dad? Truth be told, we liked it better when he wasn't just bullshitting. That was pretty hardcore.
· Sure, our sister site Consumerist got to the bottom of the mystery of Jamba Juice's ingredients. But we hope they don't go after Pinkberry next, because those people will fucking cut you.
· You know who's a really successful movie star? That Will Smith guy.
· Tomorrow's hot excuse for erratic celebrity behavior: diabetic shock.

• In an effort to prove herself as a serious actress, child star Dakota Fanning will appear naked and in a rape scene for the movie Hounddog. Also, this may be the first and only time Lloyd Grove succeeds in a jaw-dropping item. Way to go out with an extremely uncomfortable bang, buddy. [Lowdown]
• Britney Spears reveals her hidden literary talent, revealing on her website her secret passion for tigers. It's some of her best work, featuring multisyllabic words like "mesmerized" and "mysteriousness." [Page Six]
• Paris Hilton has feelings too, you know. When TMZ readers call her "an overused human condom," it hurts Hilton, who calls the comments "mean and sadistic." That's a big word, Paris — now try telling us what it means. [TMZ]
• "Somebody" hacks into Lindsay Lohan's BlackBerry and uses it to send all sorts of unfavorable messages to her friends. Seems as if young Hollywood is plagued by this sort of problem more than gonorrhea. [Page Six]
• 31 years later, Rolling Stone Keith Richards is pardoned for getting stoned in Memphis. [R&M (last item)]
• Haley Joel Osment is old enough to drive and get in an accident. [People]
• Daniel Baldwin is old enough to drive and get in an accident and have no one give a shit. [BBC]

• Paul McCartney and his second wife, Heather Mills, have announced that they're getting divorced after a whopping 4 years. Naturally, the media is to blame, having made it difficult for the couple to maintain a "normal" relationship. Way to make us into Yoko. [Reuters]
• Conversely, Nicole Kidman finally confirms that she and Keith Urban are engaged. In her second shot at marriage, Kidman will presumably get laid. [People]
• In the June issue of GQ, Christina Aguilera tells of an unpleasant interaction with a drunken Mariah Carey. Aguilera's sympathetic, though — she knows Carey's all doped up. [Page Six]
• The Oakland A's lose to the Yankees because of a waitress named Charity, who got Nick Swisher and Joe Blanton sufficiently wasted at Plumm the night before the game. [R&M]
• Denis Leary tells Elle that he'd rather shoot himself in the head than sleep with another man. That's fine — Chelsea doesn't need you anyhow! [Lowdown (last item)]
• OK: Keith Richards is fucking amazing. After a brain hemorrhage, he rebounds enough to resume touring with the Rolling Stones. Nothing can kill this man. [Page Six]

• Inspired by the tactics of Tom Cruise, Britney Spears may be holding a press conference later today to formally announce her pregnancy. Supposedly Federletus 2 is a girl. [IMDb]
• Unfortunately, Britney's dipping into the new baby's college fund to pay for the minder she's hired to keep an eye on houseboy Keving Federline. [Scoop]
• When aren't Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger fighting in court over custody of their 10-year-old daughter? And there's no way that poor kid has sat through all of this drama completely sober. [Page Six]
• Maury Povich, who's accused of cheating on wife Connie Chung with one of his producers, is now suspected of having a second mistress. Ladies, honestly. Maury Povich. Get ahold of yourselves. [R&M]
• After falling out of a coconut tree in Fiji, Rolling Stone Keith Richards' brain is hemorrhaging; the rocker must undergo an operation to drain blood from his skull, after which he's expected to make a complete recovery. If his body can survive the 70's, it certainly can handle this. [Page Six]
• News you can't use: North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il got pervy with former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright. [Lowdown]