As excited as we are for borderline troublemaker Emma Watson and her rumored new deal to become the "face of Chanel" at 18, the $6 million contract comes with a curse or two. The French cosmetics giant has been airbrushing celebrity visages in ad campaigns for years, but its most recent short-term star partnerships haven't always ended amicably, nor have they resulted in the kind of chaste and glossy reputation sources predict for Watson. Though a friend insists that "She's not going to end up like these other Hollywood train wrecks, she just isn't...No one is going to be saying, ‘I never wanted to see Hermione in that light,'" we took a look back at her quilted bag-carrying predecessors to shine a light on the kind of controversy this same wallet-fattening gig has earned its celebrity reps in the past.

Love them or hate them, the magical millionaire pixies that are the Olsen Twins have at least one confirmed talent: perfecting their trademark pose for the paparazzi. And unlike Keira Knightley’s "Don’t Hate Me Because I’m So Rich, Thin And Beautiful" pout or Lindsay Lohan’s dilated tipsy face (often accompanied by props like neon bras and knives!), the Olsens allegedly use a tactic called The Prune. We highly doubt we’re the only ones who’ve noticed the duo’s matching facial contortion on red carpets in which their doll-sized lips purse and their cheekbones struggle to break free from nicotine-drenched skin. Their secret? As a source tells OK!, “Every time they pose and smile, they say the word ‘prune.’” Genius! Examples of the sometimes-flattering, sometimes-horrifying technique, presented in our favorite Tipsy Face Bingo format, after the jump.

· Dennis Hopper will inherit the Terrence Howard role in Starz's small-screen adaptation of the Oscar-winner Crash. Kidding! Or only half-kidding, sadly: Hopper is indeed attached to star in this shitshow-to-be. [Variety]
· Despite the ad apocalypse foreseen prior to this year's upfronts, revenues appear to have surpassed even the rosiest optimists' predictions. [Variety
· Watching the Lakers lose an NBA Finals game is more popular than it's been in years! [Variety]
· After underachieving with a mere 15 films per year, Samuel L. Jackson is set to proliferate on TV after inking a first-look production deal with CBS Paramount. [THR]
· Keira Knightley, My Fair Lady updating, just try not to think about it. [Variety]

Most stars have their own trademark pose on the red carpet. Think Renee Zellweger with her pursed lips looking like she just took a shot of lemon juice, or Lindsay Lohan's classic blowing kiss move. As for Keira Knightley, with her wildly perfect facial features and oddly appealing underbite, she's patented "The Pout." As she puts it:

Generation Rx sounded pretty cool when the term was first coined, but now that Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Britney and Lindsay have all boarded the Adderall bandwagon, we fear the pill-popping twenty-something crowd has officially snorted the shark. According to reports in both the New York Daily News and on abc.com, crushing the little blue pills and snorting them is the oh-so-coolest way to stay skinny, replacing old time faves caffeine, cigs and (if you're adventurous) cocaine. But just as we started hating on all the celebs using the pill-of-the-week to lose weight, we read a bit more about who else in Hollywood is hooked on the jitterbuggy meds. After the jump, learn which highest of highbrow actresses is also suspected of Adderall addiction:

Ladies, drop all your skin creams and push up bras and direct injections of fat from baby seals, or whatever it is the quack breast enhancement techniques are these days. All you need for a bigger chest is makeup! "Bosom make-up," to be exact, and which is a phrase we find pleasing. That's how the actress Keira Knightley got her big old boobs when she was in Pirates of the Caribbean. That is some quality journalism, UK Daily Mail. Or if you're not into makeup breasts, you can always have them digitally enhanced, like Knightley did in her US ads for King Arthur. In the educational photos below, which we totally took from the Daily Mail, the unenhanced UK poster is on the left, and the enhanced US poster is on the right. That's why America rules the world.

Kudos to Focus Features' marketing department for injecting some sex into Atonement's For Your Consideration ad campaign by choosing this signature image of Keira Knightley, in which the actress emerges sopping wet from her family estate's fountain in a clingy, see-through slip, as the one that best represents the candidacy of both their critically beloved literary adaptation and director Joe Wright. Sure, the awe-inspiring tracking shot of a war-torn Dunkirk might have been an option that more vividly illustrated Wright's technical skills, but sometimes voters just want to break up the monotony of flipping though the trades by gawking at half-naked ladies.

Venice Film Festival update: Jellyfish have invaded and are totally ruining Keira Knightley's swimming plans! Also: At 156 minutes, Ang Lee's NC-17-rated Lust, Caution is a chore to sit through, despite featuring sex scenes so explicit, it makes a spittle-assisted Jack Twist-taking seem tame by comparison. [filmexperience]

With Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End just hours away from swallowing America's multiplexes like a tentacled leviathan, star Keira Knightley has emerged victorious in a legal battle against British tabloid The Daily Mail for having suggested her bony frame was providing unnecessary thinspiration for fanorexic teens. Reuters reports:

Kate Bosworth and Keira Knightley both became stars playing the leads in films about healthy, headstrong female athletes, which only heightens the irony of what they've become: flesh-covered sticks swimming in size zero designerwear, with barely enough energy to raise their now giant-seeming heads to answer the endless barrage of press junket questions launched at them. As they currently star in the two biggest youth-oriented event movies of the summer, parents of America's impressionable young ladies have taken concerned notice of the trend, fearing that their (mostly obese) children may soon want to start mimicking their skeletal heroines. And as with any media-concocted social panic story, we even get a catchy, new* word by which to identify the phenomenon: "Thinspiration."

An amused operative from within the Disney corporate family shared with us this company-wide e-mail in which Head Mouse in Charge Bob Iger pats his underlings on their collective back for Pirates of the Caribbean 2's record-shattering™ performance. But in his exuberance to reach out and personally touch the inboxes of his cast members, Iger may have neglected proofreading his missive, tragically misspelling the name of one of his stars and redundantly referring to the Pirates franchise as "something that will be enjoyed by generations of people for generations." Ever the perfectionist, Iger eventually corrected his mistake. Says our operative: "Two hours later he sent out the exact same memo with the spelling corrected. No mention that he had gotten it wrong the first time. At Disney, we don't acknowledge mistakes." An excerpt from the memo [boldface ours]:

• Despite her sharply protruding breastplate, Keira Knightley is not anorexic. She's not eating, per se, but that's a minor detail. Just because you drink water and eat iceberg lettuce until your thighs are as thin as your finger does not mean you're anorexic. Now go focus on Kate Bosworth or something. [People]
• Not even the Gays will shell out $800 to see Barbra Streisand emote; promoters face losing some astronomical amount like $15 million. If Jersey ever reopens, look for for Babs at the Borgata. [Page Six]
• 5WPR — yes, the house of Ronn [sic] Torrossian — tries to steal Britney Spears away from Leslie Sloane Zelnik, who's been getting a little lazy on managing the gum-snapping wonder. Don't try to digest this one: only Torrossian can understand why someone would want the Spears account. [Lowdown]
• Don't you dare think Star Jones drives a Honda. [TMZ]
• Kathy Hilton mistakes Bryant Gumbel for Al Reynolds. Write your own "they all look the same" joke here. Bonus point for insinuating Gumbel's a switch-hitter. [Page Six]
• Meg Ryan takes her fake lips and fake Maddox to Chappaquiddick. [R&M]

Vanity Fair Hollywood issue guest editor Tom Ford didn't insert himself into the magazine's cover shoot on a passing whim. When one shy Canadian sabotaged his original vision for the photo, he performed the peculiar girls-in-a-bed calculus known only to industry insiders, scrutinized the results of the equation, then heroically stepped in to save models Scarlett Johansson and Keira Knightley from a lifetime of bitchy whispers:

With all the reverence paid to the roll-out of Vanity Fair's annual Hollywood issue, you'd expect that each subscriber would have his or her magazine delivered by a battalion of cherubim, an angelic cohort ready to blast triumphantly their celestial horns the moment one first unfurls the cover gatefold. This year's cover certainly delivers the accompanying flare of dazzling light, courtesy of the reflective properties of Scarlett Johansson's alabaster flesh, but with The Rack artfully obscured by an arm, no one will go blind from a long-awaited flash of her celebrated bosom. Much was made of Rachel McAdams' exit from the cover shoot, a conniption of modesty that resulted in Tom Ford, the special issue's art director, being inserted into her place. Only our imaginations can help us gauge the aesthetic impact of this distressing change; McAdam's presence would likely have elevated the cover to first-rate masturbatory material for the Hollywood obsessed. Instead, we get a pasty Johansson trying to ignore the well-dressed gay dude about to chew off Keira Knightley's earlobe. And if the cover hasn't already dampened your desire enough on its own, if you glance at it quickly, you could swear photographer Annie Leibovitz has perfectly captured the magic moment before Jeremy Piven moves a boozy three-way from the living room floor to the heart-shaped waterbed in the boudoir.

Tom Ford has become something of a crack-addict of late; from bearing all in a W magazine spread to his Amber Nude line of Estee Lauder cosmetics, the guy has just about gone naked-crazy. So when he was offered the guest editorship of this year's Vanity Fair Hollywood Issue, well, let's just say there were more than a few silent prayers around the Conde Nast HQ that he would steer clear of any Elizabeth Taylor tribute photo essays. Luckily, that potentially mass-traumatizing crisis was averted, which is not to say Ford's bareness bias did not lead to complications: