When we've seen dancing soldiers videos before, the gay references were in the eye of the beholder. Not so with these soldiers who say (or read?) "It's alright to be gay in the military," then dance to Ke$ha.

Wintour goes nuclear on the dancefloor. Halle Berry calls her soon-to-be ex a "loser." Charlie Sheen hands over custody. Ke$ha ruins a bat mitzvah. Tiger Woods' butt sweats. Wednesday's gossip roundup likes to party.

She knew they were related when he called himself P@t the R@t. Sienna and Jude are officially back together. Sandra's baby sells more magazines than Angelina's. Tuesday gossip is symbolic.

What the more recent seasons of The Simpsons have lacked in terms of comedic creativity, they've made up for with wacky intros. Case in point: last night's opening, in which the entire Springfield gang performed Ke$ha's "TiK ToK." Video inside.

Princeton professor and Pulitzer-winning poet interprets Ke$ha's Shakespeare references.

After Ke$ha's performance on The Wendy Williams Show, the hostess probed her guest about the elements of her mystique (why the dollar sign? are she and Paris Hilton pals post-puke?), and her unique (read: revolting) style.

He thought he could call her "heavy" if he said "top," first. Ke$ha makes fun of Britney. Kendra Wilkinson's baby weight gave her postpartum depression. "Jessica Simpson weighs in on fat jokes." Thursday's gossip roundup was teased as a child.

Before she was slender, beautiful and blond, Ke$ha—or before she had boatloads of money, Kesha Sebert— was awkward and unattractive, just like the rest of us.

Paris Hilton's mans and ex-mans got into a fight and hopefully punched each other in the face. Adam Lambert and Ke$ha sucked face. Susan Sarandon got puked on by a tranny. Hillary Duff: engaged. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Is "fishers of men" a euphemism for cruising? Adam Lambert kisses a girl. Shakira makes fetal position sexy. Lil' Wayne has eight root canals. The guy who punched Romney is a famed rapper. Friday gossip wants to drill, baby, drill.

Remember when everyone thought Ke$ha wrote her name on the Hollywood sign? Well, she didn't but some people trying to call attention to proposed development around the sign have. What are they trying to make it say?

Oh Ke$ha! The faux-drunken pop star with rotting Jack Daniels-teeth has released a new viral video in which she and her slinky friends change the famous Hollywood sign to say Ke$hawood. And people think it's real! It's clearly not.

Michael Douglas is living through Traffic, and his kid might be a RAT. Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats trying to make beautiful music. Nicole Richie: not a skeleton. Jessica Alba's one year-old daughter: caliente? Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

• Are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up? That's what Britain's News of the World reported over the weekend, suggesting the (unmarried) couple has been meeting with their lawyers in LA to divide up their assets. Whether any of this is true or it's just another rumor is unclear. According to a source that spoke with People, "everything is fine" between Jolie and Pitt, and the story of them splitting is "totally false." [NYDN, NYP, TMZ, People]
• The cast of MTV's most popular new show may not be back for another season. The kids from Jersey Shore reportedly turned down an offer which would have paid them each $5,000 per episode. MTV has since doubled its offer and informed them they'll replace the cast if they don't accept. In related news, the cast sparked a "near-riot" on Friday night when fans descended on a club in Montclair, New Jersey, to catch them in person. [TMZ, Us, NYDN]
• Diddy held a 1,000-person birthday party for his son, Justin, on Saturday night. The highlight of the evening—which was taped for an episode of MTV's Super Sweet Sixteen—was when Diddy gave his son what every 16-year-old needs: a $360,000 silver Maybach and a driver to go with it. [P6, NYDN]

Before she was a bubblegum bad girl, Ke$ha was just another silky-haired teenager wedging herself into camera frames with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, building a reality show spectacle in a Nashville-based Simple Life episode with her mom.

I must've missed the Benjamin Spock chapter on it, because I don't remember there being anything in the book on child-rearing like this. Then again, I don't have kids, and I've don't read parenting books. So I could be wrong...

Once a day we like to take the time to point out a comment that we found particularly lulz-worthy, servicey, or just plain innerestin'. Today our favorite falls distinctly in the lulz category, dark and mean but also funny.

Thousands of young, impressionable girls move to Los Angeles hoping to make it big every year. Why did Ke$ha break through? And what does it say about us as a culture that she did?

Alexa Ray Joel moving out of her East Village apartment ... Kelly Cutrone walking with her kids in SoHo ... Rachel Weisz leaving her apartment ... James Gandolfini putting gas in his Vespa before getting caught up in a bit of traffic ... Whitney Port walking with a friend in the West Village ... Mandy Moore leaving a TV studio ... Pete Wentz playing with son Bronx in a park and later carrying him home on his back ... Ke$ha arriving at her hotel ... Bradley Cooper walking and eating downtown ... and Mischa Barton returning to her hotel.

[Ke$ha Day continue$, a$ the pop $en$ation leave$ the Wendy William$ $how. Image via Bauer-Griffin]