Did Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes just plunk down $15.5 million to purchase the townhouse at 42 West 12th Street? That's what the Village Voice's Runnin' Scared blog is suggesting, although there's isn't any firm proof yet: The seller isn't talking, and both Holmes's publicist and Cruise's lawyer have issued denials (not that their refutations mean much). If you live nearby, don't let the lack of confirmation interfere with your fantasies of occasional Suri sightings and surly paparazzi camped out in the hood at all hours of the day and night. You can look at the pics and a floorplan and keep your fingers firmly crossed. [Village Voice]

Paris Hilton dumps her toolish boyfriend, Shia LaBeouf issues a statement to let everyone know he's not boning his mother, Victoria Beckham's nipples tour London, Jessica Alba is under investigation for vandalism, and Jeremy Piven preaches about mercury poisoning.

[Katie Holmes leaving a dance studio in LA yesterday; image via INF]

• Paris Hilton's reps have been asking event planners in Cannes for $100,000 appearance fees. Sadly, Paris isn't having much luck getting them to go along since, well, "it's not 2002." [P6]
• Sarah Jessica Parker says she's worried about the health of the surrogate mom carrying her twins, since tabloid reporters have been harassing the poor girl and trying to hack into her computer. [People, LAT]
• A documentary about Amy Winehouse is reportedly in the works. Should be entertaining! [People]
• Katie Holmes showed up with Suri at last night's American Idol finale. This is good news since it means Tom finally let her out of the house. [Us]

Kelly Ripa carrying son Joaquin ... Anne Hathaway walking downtown with boyfriend Adam Shulman, and later taking her dog for a walk ... Beyoncé arriving at JFK ... Uma Thurman eating ice cream with son Levon and a friend in Midtown ... Mary-Kate Olsen riding a bike in the East Village with Nate Lowman ... Kim Kardashian looking like a tourist in Soho, and later getting a pedicure at a nail salon ... Katie Holmes standing on a sidewalk on the Lower East Side ... Elizabeth Hurley and husband Arun Nayar glaring at another couple on Madison Avenue ... Whitney Port walking in Soho ... Russell Crowe leaving his hotel ... Lindsay Price talking on her cell in the West Village ... Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson holding hands in Soho ... and Naomi Watts standing under an umbrella on a movie set in Brooklyn.

The child found inside a comet by actors Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will turn three this week, then be shipped off to a strict Scientology school, as it is her father's most ancient religion.

Eating one's own placenta after giving birth is a time-honored tradition in many countries. Oversharing on the Internet is a crazy new trend everywhere. When they combine, you get placenta panini pictures on Facebook!

• Sad news for those of you who expected "Real Housewife" Luann de Lesseps to be with her count in shining armor forever. The couple is now splitting up, reportedly because the count is getting serious with an "Ethiopian woman in Geneva." On the plus side, Luann should be able to hold on to her title as "Countess," which is the only thing that matters anyway. [P6]
• Queen Latifah has been sued by her former "beauty and style consultants" for not paying $1 million in fees. [NYP]
• Jennifer Lopez brought 11 pieces of luggage with her on her weekend trip to Japan. Even worse: They were of the cheap, non-designer variety. [DM]
• Soho House is kicking out the finance-types and says it plans to get back to its "artsy roots." Good luck with that. [P6]

[Victoria Beckham on her way to meet Katie Holmes for dinner at Nobu; image via INF]

Beyonce leaving the Pat Field store on Bowery ... Sarah Jessica Parker carrying a copy of the New Yorker while walking to the set of her new movie ... Claire Danes walking downtown with Hugh Dancy ... James Franco shooting scenes for a new movie in Long Island City ... Katie Holmes walking by herself downtown ... Gretchen Mol pushing her son in a stroller in the West Village ... Blake Lively carrying her dog Penny to her trailer on the set of Gossip Girl in Brooklyn ... Clive Owen crossing the street ... and Kim Kardashian and mom Kris Jenner leaving Nobu 57.

• Guess John Mayer didn't buy Jennifer Aniston an engagement ring after all. It's now rumored Mayer ended the relationship right around the time Aniston got back from her world promotional tour for Marley & Me. [E!, Us]
• Tim Gunn supposedly has a "secret crush" on Anderson Cooper. He says he's been trying to set up a lunch date with the CNN anchor for more than a year now, but it hasn't happened. Yet! [OK!]
• Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams got married on Tuesday in Savannah. [Us]
• Breaking! Katie Holmes has long hair again! [DM]

• If you're out shopping and you find yourself facing off against Kelly Killoren Bensimon for the last dress in your size, let her have it: The former model and Real Housewives star was arrested and charged with third-degree assault last week after punching her 30-year-old boyfriend in the face, leaving him with a "black eye and opening a blood-gushing gash on his left cheek." [NYP, NYDN]
• Poor Olivia Palermo says she's been misrepresented by MTV producers, since she's actually "a much nicer person in real life." Also? She's currently "vacationing in London with her model boyfriend," if you're interested. [People]
• How's this for a comeback: Rihanna and Chris Brown have reportedly been holed up in a studio working on a new track together for the past few days. [E!]

[Katie Holmes films her movie "The Extra Man" (I think it's Harry Lime) in New York; image via Splash]

Chace Crawford hailing a cab in the West Village ... Mickey Rourke walking into Nello's on Madison Avenue ... Cameron Diaz leaving her apartment building ... Kate Winslet taking her daughter to school ... Tyra Banks having lunch at Gusto on Greenwich Avenue ... Steve Martin standing on the set of his new movie in Brooklyn ... Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber holding hands while walking downtown ... and Katie Holmes filming scenes for The Extra Man outside the Russian Tea Room.

Today we visit a bizarre parallel universe where Tom Cruise is president, Lindsay Lohan is showered with gifts and honors and Oscar-winner are expected to be humble.

In Tuesday's disturbing relationship newsdump, we learn Nadya Suleman's kids brutalize her, Rihanna's Chris Brown reunion riled her family and dinner with TomKat is as weird as you think.

• Lindsay Lohan says she wants to convert to Judaism so she can "prove her commitment" to girlfriend Sam Ronson. She even went to the great trouble of updating her Facebook status to "I'm converting." [Daily Mail, P6]
• Katie Holmes looked "gaunt and tired" at an LA restaurant over the weekend. It could just be the elaborate security precautions wearing her down: Tom's security detail insisted on "sweeping" the eatery before anyone sat down to eat. [NYDN, MSNBC]
• Chris Brown and Rihanna have left Miami for LA and are now staying at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. The public outrage over the reconciliation continues, though. [E!, LAT, OK!, People]
• Jimmy Fallon looked a bit "awkward" and "stiff" when his talk show made its debut last night with guests Robert De Niro and Justin Timberlake. [Us]

But you won't. No one ever will. Also in the news are Chris Brown and Rihanna (for the first time ever), Britney Spears, Katie Holmes, Madonna, and Tommy-Tom Brady.

• It seems Rihanna and Chris Brown have reunited: The two have been holed up at Diddy's Star Island mansion since late last week and are now "focusing on a reconciliation." Not surprisingly, fans have been a little bit dismayed by the news. [NYDN, People, Reuters]
• Why didn't Katie Holmes walk the red carpet at the Oscars? She's on an "intense detox diet" that has left her "lethargic," poor thing. [NYDN]
• Sumner Redstone is reportedly dating a former flight attendant who is six decades his junior. [R&M]

Gwyneth Paltrow ducking into an SUV in the financial district ... Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany walking with their son and dog... Alec Baldwin and Steve Buscemi shooting scenes for 30 Rock in Long Island City ... Keri Russell shopping with her husband ... Matthew Broderick opening a car door for son James outside their Village townhouse ... Katie Holmes carrying a stack of fashion magazines ... Kevin Kline standing on the set of The Extra Man ... and Jeremy Piven leaving the Cort Theatre on West 48th Street after seeing Your Welcome America.