In your sober Monday media column: Thomas Frank moves to Harper's Magazine, Newsweek has a new owner, why CNN passed over Katie Couric, the NY Daily News is caught ripping off a story, and Dan Le Batard speaks the truth.

If the gossip from New York's Gabriel Sherman is to be believed, Katie Couric's days are numbered as anchor of the CBS Evening News. At the same time, network chief Les Moonves has secured another gig for wife Julie Chen.

The world recoils at the news that a supermodel is not completely flawless, just mostly flawless. Jeremy Piven drops his cellphone in the toilet. Kristen Stewart has a litter of half-wolf hybrids. Tuesday gossip confirms what you already knew.

In your melting Monday media column: perversity finds its way into the Grey Lady, fake NYT trend story may be fake, Katie Couric could return to CBS, and David Carey leaves Conde Nast.

[What fuel powers the extraordinary dancing prowess of CBS anchor Katie Couric? Momofuku Noodle Bar, of course. We bet she got the chilled spicy noodles, because they, like her, have an icy exterior belying a fire within.]

"Mother-daughter stripper pole" is a phrase you don't hear often for a reason. Gwyneth Paltrow spends time with another male musician. Howard Stern makes fun of Gabourey Sidibe. Vigilante sorority closes in on Roethlisberger. Wednesday gossip crosses the line.

Tonight, Jon Stewart finally—and brilliantly—jumped on the Chatroulette bandwagon. Stewart mocked the media's obsession with the Internet's newest fad, before trying it out himself—and running into Diane Sawyer, Keith Olbermann, Katie Couric, Brian Williams and others. Video inside.

The "SnOMGpocalypse of Death" today has us thinking of the BBC commentator's hilarious meta take on how the news networks report on disastrous weather—namely snow. It's a clever dissection of scare tactics, the word "treacherous," and people falling.

After a light 237 hour pregame show, the Super Bowl is finally here. And while there is an actual game to be played, we're here to catch all the awkward live moments and best commercials throughout the night.

History-making news anchor Katie Couric—beautiful gin dancer, certified anchorbabe—recently did a fashion photoshoot for Harper's Bazaar and she looks faaaabulous. She's got legs for days and arms to rival Michelle Obama's. (Mud wrestling, ladies?) Observe some video stills.

• CBS News laid off more than 150 staffers this week. Will Katie Couric be forced to take a pay cut when her contract expires next year? Some say yes; CBS News chief Sean McManus is denying the report. [NYP, Politico]
• Avatar has dominated the box office for seven straight weeks now (and has officially bested Titanic), but that may change this weekend or next. [LAT]
• Janice Kaplan is out as editor-in-chief of Parade magazine. [NYT]
• Nikki Finke says it will take "minutes" for Comcast to dump NBC CEO Jeff Zucker after its acquisition of NBC is approved by regulators. (Meantime, maybe he could explain why the Today show is propping up Scientology?)
• An estimated 12 million people tuned in to Lost last night. [Forbes]
• Time Warner reported fourth-quarter revenues and profits were up. [AP]
• Fox and ESPN will challenge NBC for the 2014 and 2016 Olympics. [BN]
• Does Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter hate non-white women? [DF]

Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany walking with their kids and dog in the West Village ... Uma Thurman leaving her townhouse in the Village ... Katie Couric walking uptown ... Jeff Bridges leaving his hotel in Midtown ... Jessica Szohr filming scenes for Gossip Girl on the Upper East Side ... Matthew Broderick walking son James to school ... and George Clooney and girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis heading into Crimson after making an appearance at the New York Film Critics Circle Awards.

Katie Couric turns 53 today. Nic Cage is turning 46. Rolling Stone founder Jann Wenner is 64. CSI: Miami star David Caruso is turning 54. Professional golfer (and former Celebrity Apprentice contestant) Natalie Gulbis is 27. Singer Kenny Loggins is turning 62. And Dustin Diamond, the man who so memorably played Screech on the TV show Saved by the Bell, celebrates his 33rd birthday today.

• What caused the death of troubled socialite and heiress Casey Johnson, who was discovered dead in her LA home yesterday? It's too soon to say since toxicology results are pending, although at least one tabloid is suggesting prescription pills may have been involved. In a bizarre twist to the story, Johnson's "fiancée," reality TV star/fame addict Tila Tequila, tweeted last night that Johnson hadn't actually died and was really in a coma, before backtracking a little while later and acknowledging what had already been confirmed by the police. Tequila's also believed to be the last person to have seen the Johnson & Johnson heiress alive. [TMZ, NYP, NYDN]
• It looks like when Beyoncé performed in St. Barts on New Year's Eve, she was doing so at the behest of Hannibal Khadafy, the son of Libyan dictator Moammar Khadafy. This would be the same man who is rumored to have broken his wife's nose last month, was arrested in 2005 for punching her, and was detained by the police in Geneva in 2008 for beating his servants. So either Beyoncé is really hard up for cash (which is doubtful), or she needs someone to vet her public appearances going forward. [P6]
• The third White House state dinner crasher has been identified. His name is Carlos Allen and he's a DC-based party promoter, and he managed to sneak into the White House by hopping on a bus filled with Indian diplomats. [WP]
• Susan Sarandon has denied reports that she's involved with Jonathan Bricklin, her partner in SPiN, the ping pong club on the East Side. But a source close to the 31-year-old entrepreneur says Bricklin and Sarandon spent New Year's together and were very "touch-feely." [Fox411]

God—no, sorry, Morgan Freeman—will replace Walter Cronkite as the guy who introduces Katie Couric with his ghost voice on the CBS Evening News. Did you know...

They weren't necessarily the best, just the most popular. You saw our least popular posts before getting trashed on New Year's Eve. Before you stop caring, here are the 20 most clicked on posts of 2009.

on the pictures of her dancing dirty at the celebration of her 2006 debut as CBS news anchor, first unearthed by Gawker, at Mediaite's Tuesday night party, according to the New York Post's Page Six.

• Last night's state dinner drew quite a crowd. On hand of the occasion: Katie Couric (accompanied by beau Brooks Perlin), Gayle King (sans Oprah), Brian Williams, Mayor Bloomberg (with Diana Taylor), Ari Emanuel, M. Night Shyamalan, Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg, and David Geffen (accompanied by his youthful boyfriend). Jennifer Hudson provided the entertainment; Naeem Khan was responsible for Michelle Obama's gold dress. [Politico, Reuters, NYP]
• She may not be in rehab (yet), but Lindsay Lohan is supposedly now in counseling and seeing someone a few times a week. It's a start, isn't it? [MSNBC]
• In what may be the most dubious story ever published by Us, a source tells the tabloid that Angelina Jolie "hates" President Obama because he's "all about welfare and handouts" and is really "a socialist in disguise." Naturally, the source goes on to say that Brad Pitt is still a fan of Obama, which means the two "get in nasty arguments" about politics "all the time." [Us]

• New Moon smashed expectations this weekend, racking up $140 million at the box office and setting a record for the third-biggest opening ever. [NYT]
• News Corp. and Microsoft are in talks to remove News Corp. content from Google and have it appear on Bing, Microsoft's search engine. [FT, Bloomberg]
• O is slumping, so Hearst is now planning to makeover the magazine. [NYP]
• Talks between GE and Vivendi over NBC seem to have hit a roadblock. [WSJ]
• Project Runway's finale generated solid ratings for Lifetime, but it still didn't reel in the number of viewers it did when it aired on Bravo. [WWD]
• Scary: Glenn Beck is now looking to be more of a "political organizer." [NYT]
• Also scary: Lou Dobbs wasn't kidding about running for president. [NYDN]
• Katie Couric: serious anchor by day, sexy dancer by night. [Gawker]

We figured out where the photos of Katie Couric shaking her lovely lady humps were taken: at the after-party celebrating her debut as anchor of the CBS Evening News. That was the best possible answer.