Madonna wishes Alex Rodriguez was crying on her shoulder. Meanwhile, a Los Angeles woman is offering her support to hundreds of thousands of traumatized Miley Cyrus victims.

• Madonna is supposedly furious with Alex Rodriguez for returning to his ex-wife Cynthia after the steroid scandal broke a few days ago; we're guessing she won't be too happy with the pics of A-Rod partying with a group of girls in the Bahamas the weekend before, either. [NYDN, NYP]
• Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams are engaged. [People, P6]
• Cops will reinterview Rihanna and Chris Brown in the coming days. [NYDN]
• Mort Zuckerman had a nice, long, expensive lunch at the Four Seasons right after slashing benefits at the Daily News. [P6]
• Prince Harry has been ordered to undergo "sensitivity training." [People]

• Kate Moss has been telling friends that she wants to branch out into acting so she can become a "Hollywood star," and that she's already lined up an agent in New York. [Showbiz Spy]
• Michael Phelps has issued an apology after photos appeared this weekend in the News of the World showing him smoking weed. [NYP, NOTW]
• Bernie Madoff's grandkids are considering changing their last names. [P6]
• John Thain was hardly the first or the last: Clive Davis, Martin Bandier, and Rolf Schmidt-Holtz have all spent obscene amounts in recent years to redecorate their offices, too. [R&M]
• Despite the fact her magazine is losing millions and has laid off dozens, Portfolio's Joanne Lipman insisted on flying first class to Davos. [P6]

The local economy is about get a huge shot in the arm—well, the sections involved in selling liquor, Marlboro Lights and recreational drugs, anyway! Skanky supermodel Kate Moss and her quote-unquote rockstar boyfriend Jamie Hince may be planning to move to New York, so that Hince's band, The Kills, can "crack America." Kate has supposedly already shortlisted some New York apartments; neighbors, we wish you luck!

• Giuseppe Cipriani hasn't been seen in New York for months, but he says that has nothing to do with the handful of investigations now underway, or because he's banned from the US. He's just "busy" and says he'll return to New York "soon." His son Ignazio has been busy, too. The 20-year-old has been charged with third-degree assault for beating up a limo driver outside 1OAK back in December. [NYP, R&M]
• The latest man to fall into Paris Hilton's clutches: She was was spotted at Sundance making out with MySpace CEO Chris DeWolfe. [P6, NYDN]
• Prince William's girlfriend, Kate Middleton, may be planning to move to New York to take a job in fashion, thanks to advice she received from Tom Ford and Anna Wintour. [Daily Express]
• Maureen Dowd threw a big party on Sunday eve to honor of David Geffen. In attendance: Tom Hanks, Jeff Zucker, David Katzenberg, Ron Howard, and George Stephanopoulos, who knocked over a tray of martinis and left the party red-faced. [P6]

I know you were worried she'd leave, but it looks as though Katie Holmes might be staying here in New York for good. And she's keeping Tom with her.

• Kate Moss will celebrate her 35th birthday this weekend with a "four-day marathon of excess." The sight of a bunch of models standing around a giant pig on a spit at a hog roast? Priceless! [DM]
• She's no Michelle, but Oscar will be dressing Hillary for the inauguration. [People]
• Marc Jacobs, Alexander Wang, and Calvin Klein Inc. have all cancelled their Fashion Week postshow parties, alas. [WWD]
• Following in the footsteps of Saks, Lord & Taylor is now laying off staff, too. [Fashionista]
• L'eau de Brooklyn will debut in March. [BS]
• Alexander McQueen and Puma are teaming up on a new line. [Pipeline]
• Goodbye, Bush: Celebrate Bush's exit with a discounted bikini wax. [Racked]

Kate Moss turns 35 today. Page Six's Richard Johnson is turning 55. Gourmet editor Ruth Reichl is celebrating her 61st. Republican fundraiser (and cosmetics company founder) Georgette Mosbacher is 62. Strokes guitarist Nick Valensi is turning 28. Dr. Laura Schlessinger is 62. And the singer Sade is 50. Weekend birthdays appear after the jump!

• It's getting ugly between Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony: Star reports that the couple have gotten "physical" and there's been lots of "pushing and shoving," and Lopez has even gone running back to Diddy for help. [Star]
• Heiress Casey Johnson's new short hairdo? It's because she got into a vicious brawl with ex-girlfriend Courtenay Semel, who set Casey's hair on fire and beat her up so badly that she had to be hospitalized. [P6]
• Better not ask Beyonce to dog sit. Staffers at her label, Columbia Records, say she dropped off her shih tzu six months ago but has yet to come pick little Munchie up. [The Sun]

[Kate Moss. Model. Is she pregnant? Nobody knows. Not even Bauer-Griffin, where this picture is from.]

• Madonna's interest in Alex Rodriguez appears may have waned (she's been spotted with a young Brazilian model in recent weeks), but there's another rich, older, equally Kaballah-obsessed woman happy to take her place. At a New Year's party in Parrot Cay last week, Donna Karan seemed smitten with the slugger, although A-Rod "refused Karan's advances" since he's "still hung up on Madonna." [P6]
• Not only are most people on Mustique happy the Noel family stayed off the island this year, but a bar even created a "No Noel" cocktail to celebrate. [P6]
• Lindsay Lohan says on her MySpace blog that she and Samantha Ronson have not broken up, just in case you've been up all night worrying. [People]
• Officials in the Bahamas have completed an autopsy on John Travolta's son, Jett, and claim the death was caused by a seizure. [CBS, NYP]

The forever-scorned actress, always crying because of horrible men, doesn't like them that much anyway. "Men come and go but there really is no relationship like the one you have with a dog," she says.

• This will be the bleakest holiday shopping season for retailers in years, but it's not too late to make a bad situation a little bit better. There's still have time to get out there and shop. Do your part and help keep America the consumerist paradise it was designed to be! [AP, WSJ]
• One spot that doesn't appear to be suffering: The Ugg store in Soho. [Racked]
• Kate Moss will appear in an ad campaign for the jewelry brand Fred. [WWD]
• Rock & Republic is planning to launch a new (and cheaper) denim line. [NYM]
• David Chu is parting ways with Tumi. [WWD]
• More job cuts are expected at Liz Claiborne. [WWD]

• Whitney Port explains why she named her new clothing line "Whitney Eve" (it's complicated), and explains why it is that the world really needs another celebrity clothing line. [Nylon]
• The year's best and worst windows, fashion PR stunts, pop-up shops and more. [Racked]
• More on the messy meltdown at Kira Plastinina. [Shophound]
• The recession may be putting a damper on plastic surgery, but injectables like Botox remain as popular as ever. [WSJ]
• It's well worth braving the cold weather and crowds: Panicked retailers "are practically giving the goods away with last-minute sales in a desperate bid to save the so-far-disastrous season from catastrophe." [NYP]

• That was quick. After making a splashy debut in NYC back in May (and after paying Nicole Richie to come to Moscow two weeks ago), 16-year-old Russian heiress/designer Kira Plastinina now says she plans to close most of her 12 locations in the U.S. [FWD]
• In related news, retail sales in Russia are reportedly down 30 to 40 percent. [WWD]
• Coco Rocha's new look. [Fashionologie]
• More on Betsey Johnson's "smaller, friendlier" plans for Fashion Week. [WSJ]
• Sadly, this week is likely the last for Bill Blass. [NYT]
• Kate Moss has re-signed with Topshop for another three years. [Telegraph]

• Sean Avery may be spending a lot more time in New York in the near future: Hockey's preeminent bad boy has been cut loose by the Dallas Stars just 23 games into a four-year contract. [NYP]
• Jennifer Aniston was supposedly so desperate to have a boyfriend during the promotional tour for Marley & Me that her camp started "shopping for potential dates." [P6]
• David Paterson was not at all pleased with the impression of him on SNL this weekend. [NYP]
• Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber had a second son on Saturday. [People, E!]

• Shopping for high-end luxury products during a recession must be done covertly and in private, and must not be discussed with outsiders under any circumstances. [NYT]
• Stefano Gabbana has lots to say about the fashion biz. And seasonal fruit. [WWD]
• Saks is closing 16 of its bridal salons. [WWD]
• It looks like Agyness Deyn has a fresh fur scandal on her hands. [Daily Mail]
• Why did Tara Subkoff celebrate her birthday last night at the Carlyle? "I'm getting a little bit older and figured I needed to start making the shift." [SF]
• Diptyque and amyl nitrite: Kate Moss's winning combo. [ModelsBlog]
• Model Alessandra Ambrosio has launched a YouTube channel. [YouTube]
• Fashion mags: More nudity, less fashion. [R29]
• Two FIT students were busted last night for running a coke ring. [NYP]

• Donny Deutsch has been caught fooling around with a married woman. Or at least that's what hedge fund manager Andrew Sandler claims, who hired a private detective to follow his wife Lisa around and eventually scored pics of the two of them making out. [P6]
• Jennifer Aniston appears naked on the cover of the new GQ, and in the accompanying article she says her relationship with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie is like an "insane Bermuda Triangle." Meanwhile, Brad admits to the new Rolling Stone that he fell in love with Angie while he was still married to Jen. [NYP, Daily Mail]
• Rachel Zoe's rep says the only reason she's been looking so thin lately is because she "just got over the stomach flu." Right. [OK!]

♦ Haven't seen Giuseppe Cipriani around town lately? There may be a reason for that: He's believed to be outside the U.S. since he's on probation and because Andrew Cuomo is investigating how the family managed to keep its liquor license earlier this year. [P6]
♦ Angelina Jolie has been undergoing secret fertility treatments in the hopes of becoming pregnant with twins within the next two years. At least that's what Star says. [Star]
♦ Everyone on Gossip Girl may be hooking up with each other, but at least one relationship isn't going so strong: Blake Lively was spotted making out with a guy who was not Penn Badgley. [E!, P6]
♦ Leonardo DiCaprio lost his wallet at Rolf's on Third Avenue, and Tom Cruise lost his Blackberry somewhere in Toronto. [P6, P6]

♦ Either Mariah Carey is pregnant or she's determined to do whatever it takes to stay in the spotlight. The diva was spotted looking "ebullient" on her way out of an OB/GYN's office in LA, where she was greeted by a cheering entourage and seen clutching "what looked like a sonogram." [P6, Mirror]
♦ Kate Moss skipped champagne and wore a loose dress to a Vogue event in China, which means she must be pregnant, too. [The Sun]
♦ In an upcoming issue of O, Oprah says she's "fallen off the wagon" and now weighs 200 lbs. But she blames it on her "out-of-balance thyroid," which gave her "a fear of working out." [AP]
♦ Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich watching soccer at Nevada Smith's in the East Village with girlfriend Dasha Zhukova? We can hardly believe it. [P6]
♦ Steve Schwarzman insisting on remaining centerstage at yesterday's Vanity Fair photo shoot? That sounds likely. [P6]