Two Brisbane, Australia blokes who review golf courses on YouTube, James Macklin and Connor Reeves, just wanted to have their shot at Queensland’s Hervey Bay Golf Club, but this kangaroo wasn’t having it, mate.

Sad news: researchers have hit a dead end in the study of how kangaroo farts can unlock the solution to global warming.

Uh-oh, is there a doctor in the house? Because I think I’m having a cute-mergency!

In this life, you flail blindly, pummeling your way from one day to the next through alternating periods of heroic effort and helpless inertia, unwilling or unable to behold the world beyond the lonely confines of your own ego. In this way, you resemble an idiot kangaroo with a watering can stuck on its head.

A Wisconsin woman says she was recently asked to leave a McDonald's over her choice of company, even though her companion had done nothing wrong. Nothing, that is, besides being a baby kangaroo.

A pilot tracking an Eastern grey kangaroo and her joey through Hunter Valley, Australia got a little too close, and perhaps underestimated the roo's speed and vertical leap. Although the pilot tried to back the drone up, it was too late: His shit got wrecked.

Another classic episode of the best show on television, PBS' Sex in the Wild, aired last night. This one focused on kangaroos, whose engorged S-shaped penises look like earthworms. If I were a girl (or gay boy) kangaroo, I would take one look at one of those Cronenbergian appendages and say, "Crikey!"

This interspecies battle comes courtesy of Anthony Gill, a father and dog-caretaker living in from Australia, where kangaroos are very prevalent creatures. One afternoon, Gill's great dane Max decided to run after a small mob of roos and ended up getting slapped around by one of the aggressively defensive marsupials. More specifically:

How long will we allow "the system" to persecute innocent marsupials and their impassioned human defenders? We are slyly referring, of course, to the case of Irwin Kangaroo, the well-dressed formerly paralyzed kangaroo and registered therapy pet owned by Oklahoma kangaroo owner Christie Carr.

Doomed iPad newspaper The Daily offers a fascinating dispatch from the Mid Ohio Alternative Animal and Bird Sale, a seasonal auction that draws thousands to the tiny Amish town of Mount Hope:

94-year-old Australian Phyllis Johnson was attacked by a rampaging, psycho "Big Red" kangaroo while she was hanging laundry in her backyard on Sunday. Johnson told the Courier-Mail that she "bashed it on the head but it kept going for me," and she was only saved when cops showed up and pepper sprayed its ass. Then her son, who clearly underestimated his badass mother, wanted her to go to the hospital:

Moral of the story: never turn your back on a kangaroo.

Last night, Craig Ferguson showed Kristin Dunst what she thought was a kangaroo's foot but was really kangaroo balls. Later when asked if she was a vegetarian, Dunst says "I need meat in my life."

[Australians dressed in their traditional national garb celebrate the 10th anniversary of the Sydney 2000 Olympics at the Sydney Olympic Park Sports Centre. Pic via Getty.]

Apparently, kangaroos use their tails like third legs so they can kick with double the force.

A tiny baby kangaroo named Skippy was abandoned by his mother in a Louisiana wildlife center, but a lady raised him herself and he's just fine. Skippy's now chief marketing officer of Procter & Gamble. [Pic of similar organism: AP]