Lindsay Lohan hyperventilates and calls the paparazzi "animals." Someone is selling a sex tape of Usher. Charlie Sheen misses his son's birthday party. Britney Spears reunites with K-Fed at her son's baseball game. Monday gossip sucks and blows.

• At the Nerd BBQ fest South by Southwest, some guy tried to take Jake Gyllenhaal's picture at the premier of his nerd thriller Source Code… while he was in the bathroom peeing. Ew, guy! Jake confronted the guy, who eventually deleted it. And of course, it being South By Southwest, the whole ordeal was live-tweeted: Wrote one guy: "Gyllenhaal apparently grabbed the dude mid-photo, threw him against the wall and was like, ‘are we really gonna do this right now?'" Clearly, Jake needs to take a lesson in transparency from James Franco, just tweets pictures of his (maybe) penis before anyone else has a chance to. [HollywoodNews]

Charlie Sheen has a nice meal while the LAPD searches his house for firearms. Ashlee Simpson rebounds with her husband's friend. Monica Lewinsky is "still in love" with Bill. TGIFriday gossip.

Well, it finally happened: Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel, together since 2007 are finito. A source told PEOPLE "there are no hard feelings. It was completely mutual and they both decided it was time to move on."

Among a certain set of young women, just the mere mention of actor Robert Pattinson is enough to elicit uncontrollable shrieks and gurgles. Seriously? This guy? What the hell is wrong with you, ladies?

Here's a red-band (meaning: NSFW) trailer for Bad Teacher, a shock-comedy about a Cameron Diaz saying "fuck" a whole fuck of a lot. She's playing a, um, bad teacher who decides she needs a boob job in order to impress Justin Timberlake's character, who she thinks is rich. If he's rich and he marries her, she can quit teaching! But, of course, there's a problem.

In this month's Interview magazine, Justin Timberlake interviews Amanda Seyfried by phone. Compared to previous Interview kiss-fests—like Kidman fluffing Cotillard or Kanye humping Rihanna's leg—it was pretty tame. Until, in the middle of a conversation about Gary Oldman and apropos nothing, Seyfried blurted this:

Cleveland and the gang go out on the town and end up having more fun at a gay bar than they'd have on a regular evening. It did, however, lead to the gang discovering that lady-killer Terry is actually homosexual.

Justin Timberlake will make a special appearance on this Sunday's Cleveland Show but you might not recognize him if you don't watch this first. That's right, he's playing a booger that's been picked from Rollo's nose.

From the winners to the losers, the "I'm an Actor!" introductions to the weird moments we just had to share with you, here's our video recap of last night's Screen Actor Guild Awards.

Today at Gawker.TV, Justin Timberlake wants to join the cast of Saturday Night Live, Amy Sedaris and Stephen Colbert reunite, Paul Rudd talks Paul McCartney, the Always Sunny gang gets animated, and Jason Segel talks about the next Muppet movie.

Fans of "Dick in a Box," "Motherlover," and bringing-it-on-down-to Omeletteville—rejoice! Justin Timberlake has said on multiple occasions now that he'd like to join the cast for a season or two. Inside, he talks about SNL and going viral.

[Maximum security prisoner Justin Timberlake turns down the first prostitute he meets in the jail yard on the set of his upcoming movie "Now." Image via INF]

Two Hawaiian teachers have taken a new approach to teaching their students by reworking lyrics to popular songs by artists like Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lopez, Gwen Stefani and more into some seriously cool visual history lessons ever. Some favorites, inside.

During an interview with Justin Timberlake, Billy Bush and Kit Hoover wanted to tell the singer how much they loved his song "Weiner in a Box." Timberlake found it quite funny that the hosts were so timid, so did we!

Lady Gaga and Anderson Cooper are drinking buddies. James Franco continues to be the best at everything. Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal continue their world coffee shop tour. Sunday Gossip Roundup is a perfectly-made fried egg.

Miley's eighteenth birthday party features bumping and grinding with her mom. Jay-Z shot his brother at age 12. Charlie Sheen's hooker gives an interview. Lenny Dykstra's dog could get repossessed. Just another manic Monday gossip roundup.

[Justin Timberlake at a Lakers game last night. Photo via Splash]

[Justin Timberlake made himself and costar Amanda Seyfried unavailable when he discovered his former 'N Sync backup dancer dropped by the set of "I'm.Mortal" in L.A. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

For months, Olivia Munn's "indefinite hiatus" has been the "elephant in the room" at G4TV, but thanks to US Weekly, papa's got a brand new heffalump! Yesterday, Munn's erstwhile co-host Kevin Pereira did his best to quell the rumors.