Everyone everywhere is mad about Terminator. Ashlee Simpson continues to plague us, as does The View. More film work for Tracy Morgan! And Julia Roberts too.

• It isn't easy being a disposable reality TV star. At the Jill Stuart show on Monday, a publicist barked "Show your fucking ring!" to Bethenny Frankel as The Real Housewives of New York star was getting her photo taken. She's probably used to the abuse, though. Frankel later told a reporter that she used to babysit Paris and Nicky Hilton when they were kids. [AMNY, NYO]
• Lindsay Lohan says her dramatic weight loss is simply the result on "working a lot." Of course it is. [Us]
• Monogamy is so old-fashioned: Alex Rodriguez spent Valentine's Day weekend romancing five different women, while Calvin Klein was spotted in Miami with "two model-type guys." [P6]
• Walter and Monica Noel are laying low at their home in Mustique, although they skipped the private jet and flew commercial to get there. [P6]

Wispy British actress Sienna Miller is heading to Broadway next season to star in Patrick (Closer) Marber's After Miss Julie. She joins an increasingly steady stream of movie types heading to the stage. What gives?

Sure, sure, Titanic couple Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio are reuniting on-screen in the upcoming Revolutionary Road, and that's great. Still, the romantics over here at Defamer HQ would prefer a reprise of the light and fluffy lovers played by Clive Owen and Julia Roberts in Closer ("You like him coming in your face?" "Yes!" "What does it taste like?" "It tastes like you but sweeter!"), so this trailer for their upcoming Duplicity will have to do. Oh, and what's this? A brand-new costar in the form of Julia Roberts's thong? How did the suddenly sexed-up Natalie Portman get left out of this Closer coffee klatch? The trailer, after the jump:

Bill Gates, the co-founder of Microsoft (and, sadly, only the third-richest man in the world these days) turns 53 today. Closer to home, Pepsi CEO Indra Nooyi is also marking her 53rd. Others celebrating: Julia Roberts is 41. Joaquin Phoenix turns 34. Musician Ben Harper is 39. Bruce Jenner, the man to blame for bringing Brody Jenner into the world, is 59. Actress Lauren Holly is 45. And Dayanara Torres, former Miss Universe and former wife of Marc Anthony, is 34.

Sad news that catty style assessor Mr. Blackwell passed away this weekend. Though, maybe not so sad for the decades' worth of celebrities that he slammed as his Worst Dressed picks of the year. If you're curious about who Mr. B selected as his top (bottom?) choice each year since 1960, you can find a list here. We've also compiled a photo gallery of the most recent 20, after the jump.

Actor Tobey Maguire has had another confrontation with the ever-dogged paparazzi, this incident ending in bloodshed. Apparently, his friend punched some photographer and was hauled off to jail. This is the second such outburst for the Spider-Man star, but he's not the only one to lash out at the wicked, prying photogs and their gaggle of flashing lights and inane questions. After the jump take a took at five other celebrities who have stood up and barked "No!" at the insidious rabble.

♦ Charges will not be filed against Shia LaBeouf in connection with his car accident in LA in July. He may still lose his license, though, for failing to submit to a blood-alcohol test after the crash. [E!]
♦ Lindsay Lohan is so scared of her dad that she may take out an order of protection against him. [P6]
♦ Last week it was rumored Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Refaeli had split up. Now it's rumored they're back together. [OK!]
♦ Robert De Niro is a giant pain to work with who makes "weird midnight phone calls." Or at least that's what Harvey Weinstein and Quentin Tarantino said in a taped phone conversation from 1997 that's just now been leaked. [P6]
♦ Julia Roberts left the Waverly Inn covered up in a pashmina, which means it's time for a fresh round of rumors that she's secretly pregnant. [The Sun]

Christy Turlington carrying her daughter in SoHo ... Beyonce dressed up as a police officer on the set of her new music video ... John Mayer walking to the gym by himself ... Blake Lively carrying her dog in one hand and her coffee in the other ... Julianne Moore crossing a street in the West Village ... Taylor Momsen holding a can of soda on the Gossip Girl set ... Sienna Miller grabbing a drink downtown with an unidentified man ... Tom Cruise carrying Suri and glaring at photogs ... Julia Roberts pushing a doublewide stroller ... and Rachel Weisz and Darren Aronofsky holding hands on a walk.

Party like it's 1998! Julia Roberts made what E! is calling a "rare public appearance" yesterday, appearing onstage at the Stand Up for a Cure concert at Madison Square Garden. "Hello New York City!" she said to the audience. "I cannot tell you how excited I am to be in the greatest city in the world to introduce one of the greatest bands of the world." Then, strangely, Dave Matthews Band came out. [E!]

Anne Hathaway walking with a mystery man downtown ... Jessica Alba shopping for clothes with baby Honor in SoHo ... Rachel Zoe and her assistant Brad arriving at Bryant Park ... Julianne Moore about to cross the street in the Village ... Jennifer Lopez going to lunch at Nello wearing an Oscar de la Renta gown ... Alicia Keys solo and chatting on her cell ... Julia Roberts waving to the paparazzi during a walk downtown ... Sarah Jessica Parker walking with her son James Wilke ... Katie Holmes wearing baggy jeans and carrying a bag ... Barack Obama and Lebron James showing up at the set of the Letterman show ... Lauren Conrad making an appearance at Bloomingdale's to promote her clothing line ... Diane Kruger walking her bike on the sidewalk in front of Anthropologie ... Michelle Trachtenberg and a male friend dressed up and walking in the middle of the street in SoHo ... model May Andersen and friends heading to Bar Pitti ... and Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel heading to Southern Hospitality for a late night dinner.

To say that Meg Ryan's career is in a free-fall would be to imply that her career hasn't already hit rock bottom. While it's true that she's poised for a potential comeback in this fall's remake of The Women, anyone with half a brain realizes that her star died the day the news broke that she was schtupping Russell Crowe on the set of Proof Of Life back in 2000. Making matters even worse for America's Former Sweetheart™, in Meg's newest (straight-to-DVD) movie called My Mom's Hot Boyfriend, she becomes the latest in a long string of actresses to strap herself into a fat suit only to magically "slim down" to win the heart of a handsome man — a trick which stopped being funny the second time that the Friends gang went to that well. While we're not about to get up on a pedestal and start going off about the offensiveness of fat suits, this news did prompt us to go back and take a look at some of the stars who have donned prosthetics to plump up on-screen in the past (rarely, if ever, to humorous effect). Play along with our latest round of Defamer Bingo after the jump.

It's that time of year again, when Hollywood's biggest stars harvest their multiplex crops, drop the hammer on their mums and size up their places among Forbes's annual list of highest-paid movie stars. As we've come to expect, it's Will Smith's world, with the megastar and noted Scientology-school patron raking in $80 million since last June; the remainder of the list comprises mainstays like Johnny Depp ($72 million) and Leonardo DiCaprio ($45 million) along with slip-sliding shockers including Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers, each tied at $55 million thanks in large part to the Shrek franchise's enduring success.

British actor Dominic West has made his biggest impression playing roguish Detective James McNulty on The Wire, but he's also find some success on the big screen: he played Renée Zellweger's lover in Chicago, and was soon after cast opposite Julia Roberts in Mona Lisa Smile. In an interview in today's The Guardian, he recalls the illuminating, grueling, and sometimes extremely annoying experience of working with Hollywood's highest-paid actresses:

Radar reports that our favorite box office trailblazer, Josh Hartnett, has finally given up hope of nailing zingers on 30 Rock or appearing in a mildly successful movie and moved on to simpler pursuits: the London theater. In a role that will certainly pay homage to Tom Cruise’s former career as an actor, Hartnett will appear as Rain Man’s Charlie Babbit opposite a less-heartthrobby Brit filling Dustin Hoffman’s pigeon-toed shoes. Most interesting of all? Hartnett manages to say, “It has always been my intent to work on the London stage,” without laughing. But the bigger question remains (ahem, Katie Holmes): why do movie stars assume tackling the theater will be a breezy little side-job guaranteed to build acting cred? The track records of Julia Roberts, Denzel Washington, and David Schwimmer beg to differ, after the jump.

The good news about this blind item in today’s NY Daily News? So many clues! Details and hints abound, from gender to marital status to what the estranged stars claim they “do” for a living. The bad news? Even when a blind item seems so specific and easy to see through, the gossip itself just doesn’t make sense. Case in point:

Keeping in mind all the optimistic overdrive before and after Sex and the City's $57 million opening weekend, the putative Chick-Flick Revolution should probably feel a little more dug in right now than it actually is. But such is life for the accidental genre, which received another once-over on Sunday at the LAFF when writer-director Diane English discussed (and briefly previewed) her troubled updating of the 1939 all-female ensemble dramedy The Women — a/k/a "Unreleaseable Meg Ryan Project," the subject of its own endless drama and speculation as Warner Bros. determines how it plans to bury it.

Like the heady mix of pride and elation that fills you as you witness your own flesh-and-blood pulling themselves up by their lonesomes to take their first wobbly steps across the living room floor, witnessing some of your favorite stars' first times on the red carpet—as compiled in this Us Weekly gallery—is an experience worth savoring. Pictured above, writer's room taskmistress Katherine Heigl presents herself to the world at the 2000 premiere for The Beach in an ensemble that makes several endearing first-timer mistakes: 1. At this early point in your career, showing anything more than 3/4 inch of leg runs the risk of making you look trampy. 2. Flashbulbs' x-ray effect often reveal more about your foundation garments than you'd like to the world to know. Always match your bra to your dark-chocolate turtleneck, lest you want the world to mistakenly assume you're a Mormon. 3. The movie's about a tropical Eden in Thailand, not what happens when your trying-to-be-hip mom is convinced by a Barneys saleswoman that "Fall is all about the Annie Oakley look." Dress theme-appropriately.

David Letterman and Julia Roberts were reunited on last night's Late Show, and it didn't feel so hot. The self-exiled Most Powerful Actress in Show Business seemed to us unnecessarily hard on the host and gushing dad, who was trying to make some point about celebrity baby-math (something about exponential levels of household chaos, not the old adage about knocking $5 mil off the opening weekend for every pregnancy). He was swiftly made to look the buffoon by the Charlie Wilson's War star and her rigidly literal-minded interpretation of family-sizes. And no one makes Dave look the buffoon—well, except maybe Julia. [Late Show]

We've been poking fun at Katherine Heigl for months now, and with good reason: she just can't stop saying the darndest things about her emasculated husband Joshua Kelley, she is completely lacking gaydar ... frankly, this list could go on for hours. But after hearing the news that Heigl is pushing for an escape from the ratings-challenged Grey's Anatomy following a fiscally successful contract renegotiation later made public, we're inching towards Team Heigl for the first time. As a source tells MSNBC: