In your villainous Thursday media column: forcing Larry King back into your ear, temporary silence from Jay Mariotti, Jeff Zucker never stops droning on, and early morning TV gets even earlier.

In your backwards Wednesday media column: Major Garrett leaves Fox News, Sharon Waxman waxes on about her competitor, a VQR editor's suicide considered further, and a man from the future speaks out.

In your nubilous Tuesday media column: the WaPoCo's nervous about Kaplan, Seth Godin to reap more revenue from his followers, AARP Magazine is the king of all magazines, and a newspaper is bringing back a formerly scrapped section. Unheard of!

Yesterday's tour bus hostage fiasco in the Philippines that ended in eight deaths was big news. Luckily, we have reporters like CNN's Rick Sanchez and his crew to make it relatable: "It really does look like Speed."

In your fearmongering Monday media column: vicious rumors of bedbugs at Elle, a mass exodus from the New York Observer, Sidney Harman has some ideas for Newsweek, media job moves afoot, and Philly wants to tax bloggers.

In your unemployed Friday media column: The NYT magazine editor search continues, top editors shuffle in and out of magazines elsewhere, an ill-advised warning for young journalists, and Robin Givhan on the Essence RACE SCANDAL.

In your comeuppance-laced Thursday media column: Bill O'Reilly tussles with Newsmax, an airline magazine that doesn't suck is discovered, business journalism salaries revealed, and the AP kills the "Ground Zero mosque."

In your global Wednesday media column: strongman manager buys biz show, rumors of trouble at OK! Magazine, management shuffles at Time Inc, and press freedom threatened in South Africa and Venezuela.

A grand jury convened yesterday to see if 24-year-old North Carolina blogger Samir Khan could be charged with terrorism offenses after he created the English-language jihadi magazine Inspire, with stories like "Make a Bomb in the Kitchen of Your Mom."

LOL, oldie newspaper The New York Times is finally like "Derrr, we said 'hipster' 250 times last year, is that too much? Should we change?" Yea too bad we already solved that problem like one million years ago, LOL. [Pic]

In your cocky Tuesday media column: those Red Eye boys are just as penis-obsessed as ever, News Corp gives a million bucks to Republicans, Nielsen's big IPO, and a reporter fired for wearing a nice hat.

In your murderous Monday media column: Mexico's reporters have a terrible job, the NYT Co. tests its paywall on a small stage, nobody trusts TV news, and James Kilpatrick dies.

A new Gallup poll shows that 49 percent of 18- to 29-year-olds have a "great deal" of confidence in newspapers, compared to just 16 percent of 30- to 49-year-olds. This is because they have never read a newspaper.

Yesterday we told you about our undercover Muslim president hosting a Ramadan iftar. Well, he also threw his support behind the spooky Ground Zero mosque. Thankfully we have the cover of the New York Post to keep patriotic Americans informed.

The White House press corps, our proud enforcers of public accountability, regularly demand more transparency from the White House. But if you ask them whether they attended an off-the-record lunch with President Obama, it's Top Secret. Got it?

In your finally Friday media column: News Corp attacks your iPad, a magazine editor's suicide considered, Howie Kurtz vs. Jake Tapper on a topic of import, and media softball is here, for what it's worth.

Ute Linhart (pictured) was waiting in the 28th street R train station platform Wednesday night when a crazy man pushed her into the path of an oncoming train. She suffered serious injuries, but survived. Is this good PR, or what?

In your evasive Thursday media column: the WSJ is becoming more like your little hometown paper, Mediaite doesn't justify itself to anyone, an alt-weekly judgment upheld, and Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck have a mystifying chat.

Are you an aspiring journalist desperately seeking employment to validate your perilous career choice? Good news: Newsday is hiring 34 reporters. Real jobs for real journalists! Working on Long Island is a small price to pay. [Romenesko]

In your wondrous Wednesday media column: a mobile phone-focused magazine launch, a J-school's magical new fee, Stefano Tonchi talks trash, a sluggish growth forecast, and Northeast recruiting explained.