"CNN President Jon Klein [said he] declined to hire Maddow because he found her 'predictable.'" [Washington Post]

Nearly half of India's population lives on less than $1.25 per day. And yet Vogue India thought everyday Indians would be perfect models for a $10,000 Hermes handbag, $200 Burberry umbrella and $100 Fendi baby bib. The models' lack of teeth and shoes and their dirt flooring only made the products look all the more attractive to India's growing upper class, apparently. But thousands of indebted Indian farmers committed suicide over the past decade, leading one local newspaper columnist to call the ads "tacky... downright distasteful... [an] example of vulgarity." Vogue India editor Priya Tanna thinks her critics are being way too glum:

Now that Hurricane Gustav seems to have safely blown past New Orleans and Baton Rouge, we can turn our attention to ridiculing TV journalists who pointlessly risked life and limb to set up more of those clichéd, wind-whipped hurricane-reporting shots. Even CNN can't resist making fun of those guys, and it employs half of them. The Washington Post said storms tend to produce a "High Chance of Blowhards" and added that "no one covers a house fire by rushing into the burning building, or reports on a war by doing stand-ups in the middle of a tank battle." True, but that's just because there are firemen and soldiers to keep journalists out of those dangerous situations. They'd totally shoot there if they could! Click the video icon to watch some of the most insane moments so far.

John McCain was likely clueless his running mate Sarah Palin had an underage daughter with a love child — or at least that's what the Times is implying this morning. Meanwhile it looks like everyone from Time magazine to the National Enquirer to the entire population of Wasilla, Alaska was hip to the scandalous pregnancy. How could McCain have been left in the dark? It seems the presumptive Republican presidential nominee settled on Palin at the last minute, after figuring out that social conservatives might use the convention to nuke his top two choices, pseudo-Democratic Senator Joe Lieberman and former Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Ridge, both pro-choice. Republican operatives vetted Palin for four or five days, one of them told the Times anonymously, but it sounds like even that's a reach:

The general reaction to last night's Obama speech has been, uh, effusive. Republicans were left speechless. Even GOP kneecapper Alex Castellanos seemed taken aback. The criticisms? Obama was maybe too focused on a Clintonian laundry list of issues, debased himself by attacking McCain, too meat-and-potatoes and not enough soaring rhetoric. So it only makes sense that the Associated Press headline is "Analysis: Obama spares details, keeps up attacks." Wait, what? That is the opposite of everyone else's interpretation! It gets better, in a "written hours before the speech was delivered" way!

Employee benefits are perking decidedly down all over medialand, as we found out last night Conde Nast sent out that memo limiting employees to five (5!) expensed lunches a month. So we were soothed to hear that the New York Times, whose ad sales have in the words of one analyst "fallen off a cliff" this year,* remains committed to the healing power of complimentary backrubs. Massages on the house in the two days leading up to September 11! But then we got the memo announcing said benefit. And it was sort of the opposite of a "happy ending"…They will be "tracking" No Shows! So Alberto Gonzales of you, New York Times!

It comes as no huge shock to hear that the on-air bickering that has characterized MSNBC's coverage of the Democratic convention has carried over into behind-the-scenes tension and backbiting. The reports poured in last night. Politico quoted a "high-ranking journalist" who said "the situation at our channel is about to blow up." Jossip reported that both staff and top brass believe network host Keith Olbermann is way out of bounds in bashing other anchors. And the Wall Street Journal quotes former MSNBC host Connie Chung thusly: "Grow up! They have to just grow up." Whose fault is all this? Probably MSNBC chief Phil Griffin, whose staff (judging from all the reports) have a hard a time trusting. Well, he is the fellow who keeps rather ridiculously insisting MSNBC isn't becoming the left-wing Fox News. But the Journal has found another guilty party: Tim Russert, who had to go and die:

He suddenly found himself exasperated by slow moving pedestrians, and, like a true New Yorker, began darting around them instead. 'That was when I realized I was getting in sync with the city.' Ha ha ha this story is the third most-emailed.

There's no news in Denver. At least, no news that couldn't be reported by watching it on C-Span from the comfort of home. So what to do? Report on what all your fellow journalists are doing! So far, the single greatest example of this is HuffPo's constant reportage from their own "HuffPost Oasis" in Denver. At left, an unretouched screengrab from their front page today. The Oasis is remarkably popular with journalists, considering that we have no idea what goes on there but we don't think it involves free booze. Wait, maybe we do know what's going on there! "'I feel relaxed!' said a particularly refreshed Eric Alterman as he stepped away from a complimentary facial for a minute. 'I'll tell you this—everyone should add facials to their lives.'" Oh, wow. That quote is from John Koblin's piece in today's Observer. It's got more gems: Adam Nagourney couldn't find a seat at his own paper's workspace, then bitched about having to cover the convention with so many other, lesser reporters. Fox's Greta Van Susteren, though, was more than happy to be there.

Remember how Barack Obama gave that inspiring speech in which he pointed out that what William Faulkner wrote back in 1951 — "the past isn't dead and buried. In fact, it isn't even past" — was still totally true today? Obviously he was totally right. The past isn't past; but it is (if you have been watching cable news anyway) most emphatically post-. We are post-feminist, post-political, post-Sex & The City, post-9/11. I am almost tempted to call it the "OMG So Over It Already! Election," except we are venturing into a post-OMG era. On Monday night we watched the "fresh" new MSNBC anchor Rachel Maddow get props from some obsequious guest for coining the term "post-rational" to describe all this madness. That was ridiculous enough to seem "post-"something in itself, so we took the opportunity to put together a post-linear, post-chronological (and, of course, post-rational) post giving you a brief history of our favorite "post-" terms of this campaign (and all time.)

The city of Vallejo, California—most famous for spawning robot-talking rapper E-40 and failing to solve the case of the Zodiac Killer—may not be the most nurturing place in the American marketplace of ideas. Surprise! The city filed for bankruptcy in May, and all of its employees must focus their attention, laser-like, on the task of restoring its finances to good working order. Which is why the city manager has banned them from accessing the local "rag of a newspaper's" website, or something!: Specifically, city manager Joseph Tanner added one widely-read local blog as well as the city paper to the list of sites inaccessible from city servers. Both of which like to write about how the stupid city manager has bankrupted the town, coincidentally:

Childlike man Jay Mariotti has resigned as a sports columnist for the Chicago Sun-Times after 17 years. This was probably a wise move, because he is hated by Chicagoans, Cubs fans, White Sox fans, sports fans, athletes, his own colleagues, and readers in general. But no, he's not going into the hair care industry; he's had a revelation that sports journalism has become "entirely a Web site business." Oh. Lord:

Washington Post media regurgitator Howie Kurtz says that curator of all things journalistic Jim Romenesko was wrong when he said that Kurtz violated the WP's own policy by letting a Fox News flack attack Jon Stewart anonymously in response to Stewart's own (on-the-record) attack of Fox. Kurtz argues that since this was a spokesperson giving the network's official response, their name didn't matter. In the bowels of the Fox News headquarters, the PR department marked Kurtz's name off their enemies list, while finishing a Photoshop mockup of Romenesko morphing into a hyena. [WP, Previously]

Well if it isn't one of those little anecdotes could be seen as a neat metaphor for the entire business of finding neat metaphors to explain large global topics! Tribune Company COO (and ex-Clear Channel CEO) Randy Michaels recently told the company's bondholders on a conference call that he'd been exploring the mostly-deserted corporate headquarters of Times Mirror, the newspaper group Tribune acquired in 2000, just "to see what we could unplug"…and realized his company was still maintaining Times Mirror's old 1998 mainframe! "Nothing goes into it. Nothing comes out of it. And then we unplugged it and nothing stopped." TOO EASY…Hey, the cool thing — for newspapers and California's carbon footprint! — is that Michaels put a stop to it.

Have you ever come across somebody who is ostensibly a "Writer/ Editor/ Educator," but doesn't seem to understand how those things work? [Name removed in the spirit of forgiveness] is just such a person! According her website she re-entered "the writing biz" in 2002, and has been keeping busy. She's even going to be writing a guest column in the Society of Professional Journalist's Quill magazine about "the importance of being one's own publicist." That's...uncomfortable, since her method is apparently to send the exact specifications for her stories out to a list of PR people, and then use whatever they come back with to "write" her "article." This is much more egregious than Profnet: A PR person writes to say, "I just wanted to point out the worlds laziest freelancer. she literally forwards her assignments to a list of publicists in a mass mailing and has them [write] the copy." Like this!:

It has been months now since Fox News' PR machine issued one of its trademark slams of a critic, and we, for one, are happy that they have come off their summer vacations and gone back to work. The target this time: Jon Stewart, darling funnyman of the liberal elite. Surprise! The best part about this new spat: the person who comes off looking worst of all is not Stewart, nor Fox's flack, but rather the Washington Post's vacuous conventional media wisdom purveyor Howie Kurtz. A fight to admire, and a symptom of increased media fragmentation and public alienation! A full recap: The Democratic convention is such a news-bereft wasteland that Stewart was apparently giving a press conference, consisting of him riffing to a roomful of eager reporters. During the course of this, he said that Fox News' "Fair and Balanced" slogan is "the biggest 'fuck you' to people with brains that I've ever seen in my life" and that Chris Wallace is the network's only legit anchor, and that Fox is biased against Obama. Stop the fucking presses, right? But Howie Kurtz, trooper that he is, put in a call to Fox, and came back with this paragraph for his story:

Hey, remember that CNN freelancer who was looking for people bartering sex to get their masters thesis edited or kitchen renovated or taxes done or whatever? It was kind of an uphill battle, since the freelancer ruled out using anonymous sources. But she still managed to find one sex trader! It all started with a young a college coed spending a semester in hot, steamy Brazil, dying for the rainforest tour no one would give her — until she met a native busboy at the local resort. And then... (cue steamy music)

Michelle Obama is scheduled to speak at the Democratic Convention in about an hour. It's the first thing any reasonable number of people will care about at the big political show in Denver. When the speech ends, and talking head spin mode begins, everyone should remember the TV people are completely desperate to conjure news at the pointless, made-for-media convention. Here's some evidence, in the form of a CNN segment that seems to be hinting that Pepsi controls the Obama campaign and entire Democratic party, because of its logo.

Media relations is a delicate cat-and-mouse game full of silver-tongued gurus with their fingers on the pulse of the news cycle. It's not something to be left to-for example-bumbling fools. Unless, of course, you hire a firm called MEGA Marketing & Media, which sent out the following actual pitch we just received from an actual reporter at a major news outlet. The persuasive hook, designed to lure the journalist in: "I figured with such a political week, such the the democratic convention just ended, and the republican starting this week." Uh, what?

The Wall Street Journal's glossy "Modern Wealth"-themed magazine WSJ is debuting September 6. Just in time for your curiosity to have been thoroughly piqued by the smartified explorations into fashion and luxury commissioned to fill up the heaving style issues of the New Yorker and New York, T Magazine and Vanity Fair! Here's what we know: there are 51 advertisers, 19 of which are new to Rupert Murdoch's Wall Street Journal. And here's what we hear: Buzz in the newsroom is that the content, penned by a mix of staff reporters and freelancers, is "very disappointing"* — save for an apparently hilarious piece by veteran retail reporter Ellen Byron. Hey, suggestion!I don't know what Byron's piece is about, but: the cool thing about covering the luxury and consumer goods industry for the Journal is that the whole nature of the relationship between reporters and the companies that they cover is predicated upon the notion that said companies want to look good to their investors. Which is generally the exact opposite of trying to look good to customers! Essentially that means that the Journal is the one venue in which you will regularly find executives being forced to roll the "curtain" and say, "Here is our ingenious strategy for scamming people this quarter!" Or: "Isn't it amazing how when you put a giant logo over everything suddenly it's like, a Veblen Good?" Etc. etc. etc.