Employee benefits are perking decidedly down all over medialand, as we found out last night Conde Nast sent out that memo limiting employees to five (5!) expensed lunches a month. So we were soothed to hear that the New York Times, whose ad sales have in the words of one analyst "fallen off a cliff" this year,* remains committed to the healing power of complimentary backrubs. Massages on the house in the two days leading up to September 11! But then we got the memo announcing said benefit. And it was sort of the opposite of a "happy ending"…They will be "tracking" No Shows! So Alberto Gonzales of you, New York Times!

*July ad revenue was down 15.3% percent at the newspaper (and that is not even including the Boston Globe that has been dragging them down all these years) and far be it from me to judge a company by its stock price but this is not a pretty chart.

Related: In Tough Economic Times, Bankers Long For Intimacy With Their Happy Endings [Jezebel]