[The dreeeeamiest and disturbingly younnggggest Jonas Brother, Nick, headed off to school. Hahah! I am kidding! He is filming a music video in New York City, probably for the Music Television network; image via INF] miasma-protege's new line beats the original, "Let Me Get You Some Coffee To Put That In"
Aw, the Washington Post thinks it's people! Or, at least, it thinks it's a blog. In a recent review of the new teen scene cool beans summertime jams Jonas Brothers album (titled, sexually, "A Little Bit Longer"), critic J. Freedom du Lac (srsly?) called oldest and homeliest Jonas brother Kevin "the other one." Naturally this sent the band's legion of lusty teens (and potentially Steve Guttenberg) into a tizzy and they sat down, pink foam ringing their mouths, to write angry missives. The Post then sarcastically mocked them, blog style!
Regis Philbin leaving the Reebok Sports Club on the Upper West Side ... Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise walking into the playground at Chelsea Piers ... Melania Trump with son Barron in Central Park ... Lindsay Price filming a Lipstick Jungle scene ... Tyra Banks posing with the models from Vogue Italia's all-black issue on a sidewalk in Chelsea ... The Jonas Brothers filming a music video in Central Park ... and Paris Hilton and Benji Madden getting out of a taxi downtown.
· Today on Feeling Zoila, Jeff Lewis's frittata-serving lifemate reveals what she's learned from her OCD-afflicted boss. We think we can now safely say we know where she got that bad habit of standing on the front lawn in denim short-shorts and shaking her dumps for passing motorists. [Flipping Out] · "I know I've complained about your split-ends before, but hair, thank you for being the only thing on this planet preventing me from totally losing it right now!!!" [Mollygood] · Shia's pinkie is still attached and doing well, said co-star Isabel Lucas, which was more than she could say for Adrian Grenier. [Just Jared, People] · Beefcake week continues here at Defamer with some 19-year-old, shirtless Seacrest. [TMZ] · For the love of God, do not click here. (You have been warned. Don't go complaining that you shouldn't have done it.) [Celebslam] · Inky, Pinky, Sprinkly, and Yum. [shinyshiny.tv]
Big Rob—the leviathan security detail who rose to national prominence hurtling away Britney Spears's paparazzi tormentors with one swat of his canoe-sized arms—has started a blog. Now employed by the fraternal order of avant-garde multi-instrumentalists more commonly known as the Jonas Brothers, Big Rob has been promoted from his overzealous-teenbopper-pummeling duties to become an actual member of the band. But let's let Rob explain, directly from his blog's home at RyanSeacrest.com—your full-service online source for all the completely stupid things Ryan Seacrest cares about it, apparently!
During the warm, lazy days of summer, Vanity Fair likes to turn its attention to Hollywood, declaring some actor or clutch of actors the future of entertainment. It rarely ends well. This time they've taken something of a shotgun approach, naming 27 young actors, aged 15 to 26, to be the brightest stars in Hollywood. I'm sure if they expanded things a little more, to say, everyone in California under the age of 30, they'd be certain to catch a winner in the bunch. Actual names, and the dreaded fates of those previously tapped by V.F. after the jump.
· Disney may have another "bankable tyke-and-tween franchise" (why does that phrase sound vaguely offensive and child-pornish?) in Camp Rock, says Variety, with 8.9 million viewers tuning in to watch the Jonas Brothers sing their newest hit, "(Yuck!) There's A Mosquito in My S'mores." [Variety]
· DreamWorks bought a comedy pitch called Home Schooled, about a 30-year-old man who was home schooled and is now heading off to college. The clash of cultures is sure to yield hilarious results! [THR]
· Tom Hanks sides with AFTRA in the escalating SAG-AFTRA feud. [Variety]
· Plastic pony fetishist Sloane Crosley's book of short, personal essays, I Was Told There'd Be Cake, was purchased by HBO for development into a possible series. [Variety]
· Supernatural EP Eric Kripke has signed a two-year deal with Warner Bros.TV, which—get ready to be spooked out—secures his showrunner duties on the shows upcoming fourth season on The CW. [Variety]
Camp Rock, the Disney Channel original musical bubblegum movie that premiered this weekend (Friday on Disney Channel, Saturday on ABC, Sunday on ABC Family) to nearly 9 million viewers. This makes it the 2nd highest rated of any Disney Channel movie in the history of the waxy genre. This ought to make advertisers, who so stuffed their spots into the broadcast that a 90-minute movie ran for two and a half hours, quite happy. Expect a bloated, even worse sequel in which teen pop rock band/sexual gateway drug for millions of young girls (and, probably, some boys) the Jonas Brothers, who starred in this first go around, make a winky cameo and then disappear. The film's "breakout star" Demi Lovato, who has an annoying face and needs to stop smiling, should look forward to some mild Miley Cyrus-lite fame before, like bug juice at a hot end-of-summer dance, she quickly disappears.
