Kanye West's giant penis did not put a baby in Kim. Kelsey Grammer will marry his mistress. Lil' Wayne's daughter gets diamonds for turning twelve. Demi Lovato hasn't apologized for punching her back-up dancer. Tuesday gossip is momentous.

Tom sneaks mascara and facials behind Katie's back. Jim Carrey likes kissing Ewan McGregor. Brad Pitt's nose hair secret revealed! Gwyneth Paltrow has a filthy sense of humor. Wednesday gossip ranges from superficial to superficially sordid.

Actor Jim Carrey was filming Mr. Popper's Penguins on the roof of 480 Park Ave on Monday when a tipster in a neighboring building snapped this shot. Seen someone interesting? Email it to stalker@gawker.com or post it yourself to #stalker.

Jim Carrey remains single, and during his appearance last night on The Late Show, came clean about his rampant hooker use. Although, the term "hookers" is used not in the way you've probably already assumed. Video inside.

[Jim Carrey films "Mr. Popper's Penguins" on snowy New York streets yesterday. Photo via Bauer-Griffin]

David Arquette's rumored mistress is a bar brawling Hollywood mean girl. Courteney Cox ditches her wedding ring. Minka Kelly's mother was a stripper. Al Franken makes an airport security joke. Tuesday gossip sneaks into your bed and steals your husband.

He needs someone with experience to give him what he needs. Also today: it looks like we're really going to see Jim Carrey go gay, a new reunion movie is in the works, and an SNL departure.

So soon! They get greedy so easily, don't they. Also today: Conan's TBS move isn't exactly paradise for his writers, friction on the set of the Nikki Finke show sounds about right, and lots of casting news.

She has to if she wants to write a gangsta rap script correctly. Also today: A sexy new Phantom, a twee indie movie gets turned into a twee regional musical, 3D sports!, and Baywatch alumni news.

It involves a violent Samantha Ronson confrontation. Sandra Bullock gets a mistress apology. Marc Jacobs breaks up with his boytoy. Bret Michael remains in the ICU. Mariah isn't preggers. Monday's gossip roundup has all the answers.

It's true. We are finally ready to embrace gay Jim Carrey. Also today: a new miniseries about things exploding in olden times starts to come together, important Gossip Girl news, and the truth about babies.

Four days after announcing his divorce split from Jenny McCarthy on Twitter, Jim Carrey returned to the medium to support Tiger Woods and attack Elin. Is Jim sending coded messages about his own divorce? Let's overanalyze.

It's true. He just might be. Also today: A Kurt Cobain biopic sounds seriously dreadful, HBO casts two good actresses in two good roles, a teen adventure begins, and some important news about Big Momma's House 3.

Let's hope Jim Carrey at least dropped Jenny an email before tweeting today that "Jenny and I have just ended our 5 yr relationship." But they were so cute together! Or something.

The most recent Funny or Die original accomplishes something other than being funny or dying: It unites four(!) generations of legendary SNL cast members in the same room together. Quite a feat. Oh, and it's really funny.

This clip perfectly encapsulates Jim Carrey. A blur of a person that makes us laugh.


[via YouTube]

I Love You Phillip Morris, in which Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor play a gay couple, was the toast of Sundance last year, but has languished ever since. It's finally out in April. And McGregor is unhappy with the studio.

The Lancet has formally retracted a paper it published in 1998 on the causes of autism based on research conducted by Dr. Andrew Wakefield. So that's it for that, then, right?

A rumored Diddy-J.Lo sex tape may not exist, but enters court proceedings anyway; Katy Perry used Google to figure out when Russell Brand would propose; We Are the World: Haiti Edition records, Gerard Butler jokes about being gay. Tuesday gossip!

• In news that will delight Jews the world over, it seems Britney Spears is thinking about converting to Judaism. She's been seen wearing a Star of David necklace and has found a rabbi to, like, teach her about stuff, so she's well on her way, clearly. [Sun]
• Lindsay Lohan hasn't been getting too many acting roles what with all her personal problems as of late. But she may have found a way around that: She's starting her own film/TV production company. [THR]
• Jerry Seinfeld's rep says he not facing money troubles. But he is doing commercials for "a bank in the boonies of Australia," which can't be a good sign. [P6]
• Mariska Hargitay is back on the set of Law & Order: SVU after a mishap earlier this week sent her to the hospital for 13 stitches. [NYDN]
• Publicist Ali Wise was arrested earlier this week for hacking into Nina Freudenberger's voicemail. But she may not be the only victim out there. [P6]