This is Colleen Thomas, a home health administrator turned physicist who specializes in the science of creation. She is also the "mother" of a race of good aliens here on Earth to defend humans from lizard people. Yes, lizard people!

Yesterday I saw 127 Hours, a movie supposedly about James Franco cutting off his arm. I wouldn't know, though, since I couldn't watch a second of the amputation action. What things are too nasty for you to see on screen?

On Friday's Wheel of Fortune, something crazy happened. You see, a woman named Caitlin solved a seven-word, 27-letter puzzle with only one letter filled in, stunning Pat Sajak (and everyone else in the studio). Watch the unlikely feat inside.

Google technical writer Noirin Shirley wrote a post on her personal blog yesterday describing a debauched night at a tech conference. But she claims the fun ended when she was sexually assaulted by Twitter engineer Florian Leibert.

Tonight, Christine O'Donnell gave her first post-loss interview to Bill O'Reilly. When asked by O'Reilly what her future plans included, O'Donnell was quick to mention that she's already got a book deal. But what about a reality show? Watch inside.

You probably owe someone an overDue Date to the movies. This weekend there are movies For Colored Girls and anyone else! But you don't have 127 Hours for all of them, so use that Megamind of yours and pick one!

MSNBC has suspended Keith Olbermann "indefinitely without pay" in response to this morning's disclosure that Olbermann made financial donations to three Democratic politicians. What was Keith Olbermann thinking? More importantly: What is MSNBC thinking?

Today's episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show featured a performance by the recently reunited Backstreet Boys. We already knew that Winfrey loved to scream celebrities' names, but... six times in one episode? Yep! Inside, a video compilation of the shrieking.

Just like Kanye West and Brett Favre, Rolling Stones rocker Keith Richards' penis picture will now be shown to the world. Don't worry, it was taken way back when he was 22. The slightly NSFW image inside.

Yesterday, Tina Fey stopped by the Late Show for a chat with David Letterman. When the topic switched to Sarah Palin, Fey confessed that she barely remembered how to do her famed impersonation before busting it out one last time.

The Talk became briefly relevant today when Kathy Griffin used part of her interview to bitch about Elisabeth Hasselbeck. It's probably worth noting that this is the first time The Talk has attacked a panelist from The View. Shots fired!

The GOP won its very own House! Now's the part where they throw their shit all over the walls. Here are the criminal enterprises, like science and community organizers, that the GOP will use its newfound subpoena power to crush.

This morning we were greeted with a frightening sight. Duane Reade is already selling Christmas decorations. They're not the only ones. Stores across the U.S. are advertising holiday sales. You all need to shut up with this Christmas crap already!

The reign of Barack Obama ends tonight! What? Oh, it's just Congress and governors and stuff. Let's keep liveblogging. Republicans have already won the House, but can they take the Senate? An unemployed nation waits.

A Parisian baby fell out the window of her parent's apartment, plummeted six floors, bounced off an awning, then landed in the hands of a doctor who happened to be walking by. He checked her out. She is now fine.

Vinny from MTV's Jersey Shore has had with all the bullying and hate speech so he's teaming up with MTV and Facebook. Too bad his show completely exemplifies that behavior. How completely? See for yourself.

"I am proud that I am a lesbian," says Suze Orman in this new video for the "It Gets Better" campaign. Orman's video is part personal story, part inspiration, and all sorts of fabulous. Bullies, you are denied! Watch inside.

What subject can years of SNL's female players agree is funny? The Real Housewives franchise! Andy Cohen moderates the reunion show that kicked off last night's two-hour retrospective called The Women of SNL. Tina Fey as Danielle Staub, inside!

The Pew Center has released its tally of the most nationally covered candidates this election season, and guess who's No. 1? Some gal from Delaware who has magical powers. Maybe she used these powers to top this list?

Last night's episode of everyone's favorite mystery series was so full of scheming and plotting and double-crossing and other shenanigans that it nearly gave one whiplash. Slow down, Gossip Girl! You move too fast for our feeble minds.