♦ Is Kate Hudson trying to steal Alex Rodriguez away from Madonna? She was spotted with her "arms completely wrapped around" him at a party in Miami this weekend. But she might just be trying to steal Jason Statham away from his girlfriend, since the two were seen downing dirty martinis together. [NYDN, P6]
♦ A PETA activist pelted Lindsay Lohan with a bag of flour at an event in Paris on Saturday. Sam Ronson responded by dissing the activist on MySpace: "My dog is far more civilized than that person." [People]
♦ Kanye West was arrested in London on Friday after an altercation with a photographer. Now he's suggesting the entire episode was "bogus," and has upset some Brits by comparing himself to Princess Di. [People, The Sun]
♦ Sarah Palin may collect a $7 million advance if she writes a book. [MSNBC]

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel leaving Southern Hospitality on Second Avenue through the back door ... Nicole Kidman getting lunch with a friend in the West Village ... Hilary Duff and boyfriend Mike Comrie arriving at their hotel ... Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts pushing baby Alexander in a stroller ... Natalie Portman taking her dog for a walk in the rain ... Jessica Alba going to dinner at Via dei Mille on West Broadway with daughter Honor and other family members ... Katie Holmes and Suri leaving the Union Square Greenmarket .. Eva Mendes on the set of her new film ... country singer Taylor Swift arriving at her hotel ... Brooke Shields buying toys at FAO Schwarz ... and Keira Knightley and boyfriend Rupert Friend hugging in Central Park.

Natalie Portman walking her dog in the West Village ... A bundled up Scarlett Johansson walking with friends ... Ashanti posing outside the Early Show ... Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts grabbing coffee ... Julianne Moore walking in the East Village ... Ed Westwick leaving a photo shoot for K-Swiss ... Whitney Port standing under an umbrella with a friend ... Jessica Alba on the set of her new film in Brooklyn ... Jessica Szohr trying on clothes at a French Connection store ... country singer Brad Paisley waving outside the Letterman show ... Kate Winslet talking on her phone in the meatpacking district ... and Katie Holmes and Suri walking under an oversized lady bug umbrella.

Palate Refresher! And now, we offer you something completely different: a picture of Jessica Alba in character as, uh, "a young woman who has retreated from the world and is consumed by numbers and math" in her upcoming film, An Invisible Sign of My Own. Here in California, we're still a little consumed with the number 8, so it's relief to lose ourselves in Alba's mousy brown hair, Ugly Betty garb, and shocking lack of makeup (this proves that she is smart because smart girls do not wear makeup, say the movies). Jess, we know you're trying to pull off the Oscar move known as "the Charlize," but we think we like you better when you're glammed up and muzzling the chick from Heroes. Click through for full-size. [Flynet]

Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard leaving their polling precinct yesterday in Park Slope ... Natalie Portman working at an Obama phone bank ... Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick and son James leaving the pollsi in the West Village ... Naomi Watts going to the movies at the Angelika Film Center ... Elisabeth Hasselbeck taking an Election Day jog on the Upper West Side ... Keri Russell walking in Brooklyn with son River ... Jessica Alba on the set of her new movie ... Beth Ostrosky walking her three dogs in Midtown ... Katie Holmes and Suri walking to get pizza at Pie by the Pound on Fourth Avenue ... Eva Mendes on the set of her new movie in Chelsea ... and Paris Hilton arriving at JFK airport to catch a flight back to LA.

♦ You weren't the only one who stayed up to watch election results. Brad Pitt and Oprah watched the festivities from Grant Park in Chicago. Harvey Weinstein had a party at Public House attended by James Franco, Josh Lucas and Jessica Alba. Robin Williams and Billy Crystal watched Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert live. And in LA, Courteney Cox and David Arquette hosted an Obama victory party attended by Jennifer Aniston, John Mayer and Sacha Baron Cohen, among others. [R&M, E!]
♦ Star is standing by its Jennifer Aniston pregnancy story. The mag claims she's undergoing fertility treatments so she can get pregnant by her 40th birthday in February. [Star]
♦ Are Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes planning to have another baby? [OK!]

Jessica Alba in Soho pushing baby Honor ... Kate Winslet hailing a cab in the meatpacking district ... Robin Williams arriving at his hotel on Central Park South ... Blake Lively and Penn Badgley getting in a car after eating brunch in the West Village ... Ryan Reynolds walking by himself ... Kim Raver taking a lunch break on the set of Lipstick Jungle ... Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, and daughter Violet shopping for toys, and later getting in an SUV outside Matt Damon's apartment on Lafayette Street ... Paris Hilton, Ricky Gervais, and Elvis Costello posing in front of Letterman ... Keira Knightley on the set of her new movie in the meatpacking district ... country singer Clint Black leaving his hotel ... and Liev Schreiber, Naomi Watts, and baby Alexander going for a walk.

Karl Lagerfeld looking over a street vendor's wares on Prince Street this weekend ... Chace Crawford hailing a cab in SoHo ... Jennifer Garner and daughter Violet leaving Matt Damon's apartment building on Lafayette Street ... Kelly Ripa leaving ABC studios in Midtown ... Jessica Alba holding hands with husband Cash Warren while carrying baby Honor ... Heidi Klum and Seal walking on the street on Friday... Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber taking a stroll in NoHo ... Matthew Broderick walking son James to school in the West Village ... Kate Winslet standing on the sidewalk ... America Ferrera sipping coffee on the set of Ugly Betty ... Agyness Deyn walking with some friends ... Julianne Moore taking her daughter trick or treating on Friday afternoon in the West Village ... Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise going to lunch at Balthazar ... and Ryan Reynolds crossing the finish line yesterday in Central Park.

♦ Narciso Rodriguez was the man of the hour at Bergdorf Goodman last night, where he celebrated the launch of his new coffee table book with guests like Julianna Margulies (left), Jessica Alba, Linda Fargo, Reed Krakoff, Virginia Smith, Roopal Patel, Jim Gold, Isabel and Ruben Toledo, Simon Doonan, Hal Rubenstein, Jaime King, Christopher Wheeldon, Dani Stahl, Linda Wells, Mickey Boardman, Patti Scialfa, and, his dad, Narciso Rodriguez Sr. [Paper, PMc, The Daily]

Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty making out on the sidewalk in the West Village ... Jessica Alba and Cash Warren walking in Brooklyn with baby Honor ... Michelle Williams taking daughter Matilda to the doctor's office, then getting in a car with Spike Jonze ... Eva Mendes on the set of her new film ... Daniel Radcliffe jogging on the sidewalk ... Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes leaving the American Felt building with Suri ... Dina and Ali Lohan attending a Halloween charity event ... America Ferrera on the set of Ugly Betty in Gramercy Park ... Lauren Conrad posing for photos outside the Letterman show, and later going out with her new boyfriend Kyle Howard ... and Pink leaving the Alexander McQueen store on West 14th.

We're 15 days away from arguably the most culturally charged election of the last 50 years, and it's not just David Letterman's outrage or Sarah Palin's SNL cameos moving the needle. In fact, the celebrity PSA crop of 2008 is as ripe as it's ever been — literally so, in fact, with every encouraging offering on the air giving way to three or four smug, pretentious, condescending or otherwise botched campaigns elsewhere. It happens every four years, as sure as the primaries; just when we think we'd seen it bottom out, along come Leonardo Di Caprio, Blake Lively, Carlos Mencia to knock us back to the Clinton era. So enough already, Hollywood! After the jump, find eight dos and don'ts to keep in mind when striving for the perfect celebrity PSA. You have four years to practice — on your mark, get set, go.1. DO let Jonah Hill host more PSA's on his own. As much as we appreciate the condescending, autoerotic flavor of Di Caprio, Dustin Hoffman, Natalie Portman, Demi Moore and a cast of elite thousands, this Declare Yourself ad proved that all it takes is an actual sense of humor about drugs, abortion and the economy to stir potential interest in the issues. 2. DON'T leave the Latino vote to Carlos Mencia, Cheech Marin and co. At least with Cheech around, however, Mencia can't steal Jonah Hill's jokes. 3. DO emphasize Justin Timberlake if you have a choice between him and Jessica Biel. He's just funnier, a better singer and there's always an outside chance of him "accidentally" pulling off someone's clothing. 4. DON'T give Hayden Panettiere her own spot. Especially not on Funny or Die, where she's neither funny nor dies nor so much as dings the McCain campaign she attempts to swear off — literally. Click to view 5. DO give Hayden Panettiere a spot with Jessica Alba. The "Muzzler" commercials are by far the most effective portion of Declare Yourself's multi-phase campaign to register young voters. Which is to say: We're sure the light bondage practiced on nubile, destabilizingly earnest starlets also compelled older men in the electorate to register their own "young voters" all over their keyboards. Remember, guys — you can only register once! No cheating! 6. DON'T let Anne Hathaway dance. Or anyone else for that matter. Perhaps the worst PSA of the season, this Creative Coalition spot is about as fresh as the bumper-sticker rack at a Wasilla scripture house. 7. DO pit Jews against each other. The Jewish Council for Education and Research brought on Sarah Silverman as the spokesperson for its "Great Schlep" — a late spring break of sorts encouraging young Jews to head off to Florida and convince their Nanas that Barack Hussein Obama is not the anti-Israel terrorist the GOP has allegedly made him out to be. Jackie Mason soon fired back on behalf of the Republican Jewish Coalition, smearing Silverman as a "sick yenta" over a saucy klezmer soundtrack. We hate to see such striking discord under the circumstances, but it's either this, or it's Roseanne Barr vs. Jon Voight. Which isn't a choice at all. 8. DON'T rope Blake Lively and Penn Badgley into a PSA together and not insist they make out for the Obama cause. Especially if we have to sit through the whole pasty cast of Fame: The Remake or Emo High or whatever the fuck just to get to Lively's sign-off. Of course, this being the United States of Defamer, your own suggestion are more than welcome below. Let freedom ring — or at least be less painful to watch on a quadrennial basis.

♦ Soon-to-be-single Madonna premiered her directorial debut, Filth and Wisdom, at the Sunshine Theater on Monday night. On the red carpet and/or the after-party at the Thompson LES: Lindsay Lohan (left), Jerry Seinfeld, Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber, Ann Dexter-Jones, David Blaine, Alan Cumming, America Ferrera, Brooke Shields, Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone, Glenda Bailey, Jessica Alba and Cash Warren, Juliette Lewis, Jason Biggs, Jeremy Piven, Vanessa Williams, Becki Newton, Malin Akerman, Lake Bell, Max Minghella, Padma Lakshmi, Terry Richardson, Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson, Joe Zee, Byrdie Bell, Fabiola Beracasa, Ferebee Bishop Taube, Zani Gugelmann, Katie Lee Joel, Beth Ostrosky, Eleanor Ylvisaker, Kelly Klein, Minnie Mortimer, Maggie Rizer, Chace Crawford, Amanda Cutter Brooks, Ingrid Sischy, Ross Bleckner, Nancy Jarecki, Derek Blasberg, Ed Westwick, Rose Byrne, Taylor Momsen, Debbie Bancroft, Terry Richardson, Bruce Weber, Guy Oseary, and Ali Wise and Jason Pomeranc. [The Daily, PMc, Wireimage, Style.com]

Dave Chappelle walking with his wife and kids in SoHo ... John Mayer leaving his apartment building with a duffel bag ... Michael Stipe leaving lunch at Souen on East 13th Street ... Mary-Kate Olsen walking with her finger wrapped in a bandage ... Sarah Silverman and Tina Fey outside the Letterman show ... Jessica Alba standing on the sidewalk with her bodyguard holding her waist... Lindsay Lohan going into Kirna Zabete in SoHo, and later leaving the Bowery Hotel ... and Dina and Ali Lohan leaving the launch of Lindsay's new clothing line at Henri Bendel.

From megastars like Matt Damon to Cutting Edge alums like D.B. Sweeney, it seems like every celebrity in Hollywood has an opinion about this November's presidential election. Earlier this week, actress Jessica Alba decided to muzzle herself if that's what it would take to get America to vote (an enticing motivator, though perhaps not as compelling as keeping Diddy out of sight forever). Now, a curiously able-to-speak again Alba has decided to pay it forward, muzzling other celebrities like Heroes star Hayden Panettiere and 90210's Tristan Wilds (is this because he made out with Dakota? Is it?!). Props must be paid to Alba, whose maniacally enthusiastic pitch should probably shoot to the top of her reel. Extra points if she can sew Dane Cook's lips shut next time! The clip, after the jump:

♦ Britney Spears went to a Bronx school yesterday to visit some children. Unfortunately, the school was closed for the second day of Rosh Hashanah, so her handlers had to rustle up a bunch of other kids for the photo op. [OK!]
♦ Adnan Ghalib is backtracking on his Britney sex tape story. He now says there never was one to begin with. [MSNBC]
♦ Larry Flynt says his company has already shot a new porn movie starring a Sarah Palin look-alike, although he's not revealing the title yet. [R&M]
♦ Are Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady getting married? [Chicago Sun-Times]
♦ The woman who spotted Heather Locklear's car swerving and dialed 911 was former Us Weekly staffer Jill Ishkanian, who now runs a paparazzi photo agency of her own. [MSNBC]

An election year will make stars do all kinds of crazy things, from role-playing to mile-high one-night stands. Jessica Alba tends to get especially frisky, with her recent participation in the voter-registration campaign Declare Yourself revealing a certain taste for bondage — as a metaphor for twisting in voiceless civic oblivion, of course, not her and Cash Warren's predilection when the baby is out at grandma's or wherever. Or maybe it's both! We just don't know. Point being, her duct-taped agony of a while back has today given way to the far more modest Hannibal Lecter muzzle, the latest DY ad to make its way public. (The Unrated, Extended Director's Cut follows the jump.)It's a sure sign we're too old for torture porn-as-voting drive, making us less likely to register than it does to dig out our Dark Angel DVD's and imagine the holy hell that would await anyone who tried this on Max Guevera.

Dane Cook is finally playing nice these days on behalf of his Mr. Fix-It remake new film My Best Friend's Girl, getting through an entire interview recently without once mentioning his mildly vagina-like face or those other movie-poster mishaps that so traumatized him last month. In their place, readers are treated to hints about Cook's sweeter, sensitive side — the leading man in him who prepares for onscreen interludes with a grueling two-month training routine for his mouth and hands:

Anne Hathaway walking with a mystery man downtown ... Jessica Alba shopping for clothes with baby Honor in SoHo ... Rachel Zoe and her assistant Brad arriving at Bryant Park ... Julianne Moore about to cross the street in the Village ... Jennifer Lopez going to lunch at Nello wearing an Oscar de la Renta gown ... Alicia Keys solo and chatting on her cell ... Julia Roberts waving to the paparazzi during a walk downtown ... Sarah Jessica Parker walking with her son James Wilke ... Katie Holmes wearing baggy jeans and carrying a bag ... Barack Obama and Lebron James showing up at the set of the Letterman show ... Lauren Conrad making an appearance at Bloomingdale's to promote her clothing line ... Diane Kruger walking her bike on the sidewalk in front of Anthropologie ... Michelle Trachtenberg and a male friend dressed up and walking in the middle of the street in SoHo ... model May Andersen and friends heading to Bar Pitti ... and Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel heading to Southern Hospitality for a late night dinner.

Naomi Watts doing some pre-baby shopping with a friend in Union Square ... Sarah Jessica Parker taking a walk downtown ... Petra Nemcova walking into the Diesel show ... Rosario Dawson crossing the street outside Balthazar ... Julia Stiles shopping in the West Village ... Bette Midler hugging her daughter outside the Bryant Park tents ... Betsey Johnson walking through the rain in Midtown ... Jessica Alba carrying her baby ... Mary-Kate Olsen sitting front row at the Proenza Schouler show ... Adrian Grenier having lunch outside with friends ... Jessica Simpson getting out of a taxi with pal Ken Paves ... Kanye West and Jay-Z making their way into the Marc Jacobs show ... Natalie Portman showing up to the front row at the Derek Lam show ... Martha Stewart leaving Bryant Park after attending Marc Jacobs' show ... and Marc Jacobs and Victoria Beckham leaving the Waverly Inn.

· Will Smith will star in The Last Pharaoh, playing Taharqa, the actual pharaoh who fought off the Assyrian invasion of Egypt in 677 B.C. Didn't Eddie Murphy play that guy already in the "Remember The Time" video? [Variety] · Jessica Alba will star in An Invisible Sign of My Own, based on an Aimee Bender novel about "a young woman who has retreated from the world and is consumed by numbers and math." Alba, we're told, will play this young woman's totally bangable, much hotter sister. [Variety] · Spanking Shakespeare means different things to different people. To Paramount, it means a movie based on a young adult novel. To us, it reminds us of when he had no access to real porn, so we'd spank it to the Collected Works. What? Horatio was hot. [Variety] · Tom Sizemore has joined the cast of Crash. He's clearly heard about the orgies. Good luck with that one, guys! [THR] · In the Motherhood, a web series starring Chelsea Handler, Leah Remini and Jenny McCarthy based on real mom's stories, received a 13-episode order from ABC. The only surviving cast member is Handler, who'll be joined by Megan Mullally and Cheryl Hines. Don't we love those comediennes for the very fact that they are all the anti-mother? Who wants to see Karen or Mrs. David picking up their kids from soccer practice? [THR]