The internet is abuzz with rumors that Jackson family matriarch Katherine Jackson is M.I.A. — and with good reason. Late last night, her nephew reported that she was missing.

The Jacksons had an elaborate escape plan for if Michael had been convicted of child molestation. Amy Smart and Carter Oosterhouse get married. And Charlie Sheen gets roasted. Sunday gossip is getting a tattoo with its BFFs.

Justin Bieber toys with the outward indicators of sexual maturity. Jermaine Jackson owes $100,000 in child support. Lady says she didn't boink Eva Longoria's husband. Aretha Franklin goes under the knife. TGIFriday gossip.

Now she's in an arm brace—but Tito Ortiz says she's a drug-addicted liar. Jesse James' ring finger is naked. Michael Lohan fears Lindsay is "the next Corey Haim." Whitney Houston sings off-key. Tuesday's gossip roundup cometh.

He thought he could call her "heavy" if he said "top," first. Ke$ha makes fun of Britney. Kendra Wilkinson's baby weight gave her postpartum depression. "Jessica Simpson weighs in on fat jokes." Thursday's gossip roundup was teased as a child.

Child Services storms Chateau Jackson when Jermaine's kid puts Blanket's life in peril. Megan Fox announces she's only slept with two men. Jolie and Franco are shoo-ins for based-on-a-true-story suicidal artist roles. Wednesday gossip is full of surprises.

Senator and former presidential candidate John Kerry turns 66 today. Actress, comedian and TV host Mo'Nique is turning 42. Jermaine Jackson is 55. Motley Crew's Nikki Sixx is 51. Montana Senator Max Baucus turns 68 today. Mos Def is turning 36. One-time reality TV star Lisa Gastineau is 50. Bay boy Brit chef Marco Pierre White is 48. And '80s actresses Teri Garr and Donna Mills are turning 65 and 67, respectively. A handful of weekend birthdays are below.

Michael Jackson's death has obviously helped thrust his record sales, memorabilia and hangers-on into the celebrity stratosphere. No group, however, benefited more than his family, who are all of a sudden relatively relevant again. The ultimate sign: a reality show...

Two teenage celebrities might be getting married, and therefore: doing it. Robert Pattinson's life is invaded by aliens. Paula wants back on Idol, and I want back in the womb. Madonna, Sinatra, Spears, Spacey. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

LaToya wants to dance with stars. Jermaine wants a tribute concert. Now, mom Katherine wants them all to reunite for a touring extravaganza of mourning. So, how much is each Jackson worth?

Doug and Paris rekindle their tainted love, Sienna Miller falls for the "Slinky Wizard," Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper play grab-ass, Justin Timberlake buys a house in Greenwich, Paula Abdul might head to ABC and Russell Brand seeks new love.

• Kate Hudson is dying to have A-Rod's baby, reports In Touch: "(Hudson) just turned 30 and she's ready to have her second child," an "insider" tells the magazine. "She brought up the idea to Alex and told him that they would make a beautiful baby together, and that she would assume all financial responsibility." Sounds like a great deal, clearly. [MSNBC]
• Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper are no longer trying to hide their relationship. To make the point crystal clear, Bradley placed a "reassuring hand on her behind" for paparazzi photographers in Barcelona. [DM]
• Michael Douglas' son, Cameron Douglas, was busted on drug charges a week ago. Now his girlfriend has been arrested, too. Kelly Sott was nabbed after she tried to smuggle heroin to him in an electric toothbrush. Whoops. [People]

Remember John Kerry? Apparently he ran for president in 2004 or something. Anyway, he's celebrating his 65th today. Mos Def is turning 35. Faded '80s actresses Teri Garr and Donna Mills are 64 and 66, respectively. British chef Marco Pierre White is 47. Motley Crew bassist Nikki Sixx is turning 50. And Jermaine Jackson is 54.