Neither right-wing American pundit Jonah Goldberg nor French-wire-service-reporter Olivier Knox wanted to gaze upon the U.S.'s engorged senators; Jason Pontin saw the sky falling again; and Bow Wow wants his own movie. The Twitterati couldn't bring themselves to face reality.

Free booze was sought for Gothamist; freaky flasher pics were sent to Gizmodo; and Busy Philipps' day was ruined. The Twitterati asked for one thing and got something else entirely.

A reporter exposed his bias, if you know what we mean; a flack was busted for losing his temper and a subscriber was caught five months behind on his reading. The Twitterati reveled in the humanity of imperfection.

A tech marketer saved his nephew; a tech writer was rescued by an ambulance. The Twitterati saw the whole thing.

The problem with Twitterati isn't so much oversharing as undercaring. Laurel Touby's apartment woes, Lockhart Steele's porn name, and Penelope Trunk's divorce bill are as good as the media elite's tweets get!

A proud lot, journalists — and yet so often they drown their sorrows in PB&J martinis. Or the sweet liqueur of Twitter. Jason Pontin, Ana Marie Cox, Susan Orlean and others shared their secret shames:

Dispatches from the land of Twitteronia: Penelope Trunk and Brooke Hammerling wrestled with their relationships, while Jason Pontin and Chris Lehmann wrestled with the facts. These are the fights Twitter always wins:

How do you know all those tweet-happy celebrities are the real deal? 50 Cent, Keith Olbermann, Christopher Walken, and Britney Spears are just a few of those with questionable Twitter identities.

A Today anchorlady thinks her cohost is higher than a kite, a New Yorker aims to get drunk, Alex Balk perks up his ears, and everyone else pretends to work. The latest from Twitteronia:

Why hit the phones when you can just do your work on Twitter? Jason Pontin, Caroline Waxler, and a Washington Post reporter show us how to tweetsource your way to more free time:

What's going on with our favorite Twitterati? Read what floats Jason Pontin's boat, discover the key to Shira Lazar's heart, and learn Aaron Task's wooing secrets.

Jason Pontin just invited me to participate in a Facebook event called Vestival, which consists simply of everyone wearing a sweater vest on December 5th. Jason, Jason, Jason, first it was the magenta socks, now a sweater vest. I know you're straight, but it's like you're in a closet — specifically, Owen Thomas's closet.

Congratulations to Technology Review editor-in-chief Jason Pontin. His wife, Boston Globe editor Anne Nelson, has validated his long-rumored but heretofore unproven heterosexuality through the birth of a son, Alonzo Pontin. Heir, heir! Jason, Valleywag will keep a summer internship slot open for Alonzo in 2027, provided he doesn't inherit his dad's obnoxiously fake British accent.

CAMBRIDGE, MASS. — Technology Review editor-in-chief Jason Pontin is bursting with pride. No, not the Clay Aiken sort: He is married — to a woman, one must specify, since this is Massachusetts — and the couple is expecting a child in mid-October. Oh, and his magazine has won some large number of awards from an industry trade publication, placing behind CRN for best online community. But how to explain his choice of wardrobe at the EmTech conference he is hosting? His hosiery recalls Nathan Lane's in The Birdcage. On the surface, Pontin's straightness remains as plausible as the former West Oakland resident's British accent. Update: Pontin adds, "Please mention my stylishly skinny Nudie jeans from Sweden." You're not helping, Jason.

CAMBRIDGE, MASS. — I'm here in the hub of the universe for EmTech, a conference thrown by Technology Review, MIT's magazine of self-importance. Jason Pontin, who is the magazine's editor-in-chief, publisher, and whatever title he's added last week, has just introduced Vinod Khosla, one of the venture-capital industry's brightest names. But is Pontin gazing raptly at Khosla, taking in his every word of wisdom? No, he is not. I can see his laptop screen from six rows away. He is using Twitter, a recent topic of obsession for him. This grand chronicler of innovation is whiling away the duration of Khosla's presentation 140 characters at a time. Oh, wait! I take that back. Now he's reading Valleywag.

We've been remiss in informing you of this: Cal Henderson, the eminently scalable Flickr engineer, and Leah Culver, the shrill-voiced cofounder of Pownce, San Francisco's favorite way to share MP3 files while evading copyright cops, broke up some time ago. (We hear it wasn't exactly his idea.) But don't feel sorry for Henderson, or Culver. She has no shortage of suitors — including, it seems, Technology Review editor-in-chief Jason Pontin, who was taken enough with Culver to put her on his magazine's latest cover. Pontin's married, but a man can dream, can't he? Sorry, Jason: We now hear Culver's hooked up with a Googler. (Photo of Henderson by magerleagues)

Book tours? So old media — or rather, not profitable enough for book publishers to conduct except for celebrity writers. Sarah Lacy, the author of Web 2.0 nonfiction chronicle Once You're Lucky, Twice You're Good, plans to defy that wisdom and go on a 10-city tour herself. She's already included her hometown of Memphis and the provincial burgs of Des Moines and Portland, and is asking for suggestions on the other cities — anywhere but New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco. Our ideas:

Don't be fooled by the titles that he's got (CEO, editor-in-chief, publisher, grand vizier, poo-bah). Jason Pontin from Technology Review reflects his Oakland-via-Oxford roots, styling an ironic hoodie under his suit jacket at the Valleywag/io9/Lifehacker party in Austin.

"We think technology is a high adventure." — Technology Review editor-in-chief Jason Pontin, shortly before welcoming Kevin Rose to the stage at his magazine's annual EmTech conference. You don't say, Jason, you don't say.