Don’t get too crazy but there is a chance that Japan will actually try “helicopter money.” Helicopter money! Drop it on us! Dreams come true!

At least 15 people were killed and 45 more were wounded on Tuesday after a man with a knife attacked a home for the disabled in Sagamihara, Japan, NHK reports.

Later this month, the White House announced on Tuesday, President Barack Obama will become the first sitting American president to visit Hiroshima, Japan. According to the New York Times, the president is “loath to be seen as apologizing for that chapter in American history.”

In case there wasn’t enough awful news tonight, a magnitude 7.0 earthquake just struck off the southwest coast of Japan. The Japan Meteorological Agency warned that tsunamis up to three feet high could hit the coast of the Kagoshima prefecture on the island of Kyushu.

Japanese mobile phone company SoftBank, which sells a humanoid robot named Pepper, has reminded its customers not to have sex with their robots, Agence France-Press reports. “The policy owner must not perform any sexual act or other indecent behaviour,” the user agreement reads.

To preserve their country’s proud tradition of pacifism, Japanese lawmakers today began fighting one another during a legislative session.

The Japanese Broadcasting Corporation Nippon Hōsō Kyōkai is reporting that the Sagami General Depot, a U.S. Army post in Sagamihara, Japan, has been rocked by at least one explosion, according to the Atlanta Journal Constitution.

On Saturday, Mark Karpeles, CEO of bankrupt bitcoin exchange Mt. Gox, which collapsed spectacularly last year, was arrested in Tokyo on suspicion of illicitly stealing $1 million from the online financial platform, the New York Times reports.

Henn na Hotel, in Sasebo, Nagasaki, is staffed almost entirely by robots. A grinning velociraptor in a bellhop hat takes your check-in information; an automated cart takes your luggage to your room. The robots aren’t a gimmick, the hotel’s owner told the Associated Press, but an earnest bid to save money. Unlike pesky humans, the bots don’t require payment for their services.

Last night, “the game” was the Women’s World Cup final between the United States and Japan. The Americans scored four goals in the game’s first 16 minutes and eventually won 5-2, avenging their loss to the Japanese in the 2011 final. It is the U.S.’s first Women’s World Cup title since 1999.

At least two people died Tuesday when an elderly man caught fire aboard a high-speed train in Japan in what the New York Times reports “appeared to be a deliberate act of self-immolation.”

Film star and reigning King of Monsters Godzilla, 61, has finally been recognized as a citizen of Japan, Anime News Network reports.

A Japanese former porn star has agreed to a 15-year, $8 million contract to become the exclusive “personal assistant” of an anonymous Chinese businessman, the tabloid Nikkan Gendai reported this week.

This is a segment from a Japanese erotic variety show hosted by actor/comedian Yoshimi Tokui, challenging male contestants to make it through a karaoke while being manually stimulated by beautiful, professional women. Meanwhile, the hosts are in the studio laughing at them, and onscreen captions indicate when they’ve “finished.”

A 40-year-old contract worker was arrested in Tokyo Thursday after police matched his DNA to semen found on an 18-year-old schoolgirl's skirt while she was riding the Japan Rail Sobu line. The serial jerkoff artist is suspected in around 110 similar incidents on Tokyo trains over the past few years, the Asahi Shimbun reports.

Prince William visited Japan this week and took some photographs there with some people and some things, BuzzFeed News reports.

A Japanese man has been accused of raping more than 100 women who thought they were participating in a sleep study. The man allegedly sold videos of the attacks online, making more than $100,000.

On a Japanese stunt TV show at the end of January, a twelve-year-old member of tweenage pop group 3B Junior was put into a coma after inhaling helium for a prank she'd been put up to, the BBC reports.

After a proposed prisoner swap failed to materialize this week, ISIS released a gruesome video on Saturday purporting to show the beheading of captured Japanese journalist Kenji Goto.

Reagan-era medicine cabinet and native-born American citizen Peggy Noonan has long had the gift of being able to interpret foreign cultures using nothing more than her pure heart and an overflowing mug of gin. Today, she turns her eye to the Far East.