♦ In an interview with Barbara Walters which airs Friday, Peter Cook says it was Christie Brinkley's fault he cheated on her because she wasn't "meeting his needs." Oh, also, he'd like you to know he's really not a pervert. [NYDN]
♦ Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel are back together, although friends say they're "taking it slow." [People]
♦ Angelina Jolie got a tummy tuck, or at least that's what the Star says. [Star]
♦ Amy Winehouse's spokesperson says the singer is not suicidal. In fact, the rep says, "she's fine." Of course she is. [People]
The Lynne Spears Redemption Tour continues, with the mother of Britney and Jamie Lynn sitting down with Newsweek to discuss her new book, Through the Storm (also known as The Lynne Spears Guide to Fucking Up Your Children). Talk turned to vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, whose daughter Bristol supposedly received a gift from fellow teen mother Jamie Lynn. Now, though, it seems like Lynne is having second thoughts about that show of solidarity — in fact, she wants to know why Sarah Palin is attracting so much more support than she is:
Adding one more scandal to Wal-Mart's long list of corporate infractions, a federal criminal investigation is underway after photos of Jamie Lynn Spears breast feeding her daughter, Maddie, have leaked. Jamie Lynn's boyfriend, Casey Aldridge, apparently dropped off his camera card at a Louisiana outpost of the store, where an employee may have made extra copies of an image in which Jamie Lynn's underaged left breast is exposed. The employee is now peddling off that picture, as well as others, including one of her in a negligee. Wasilla Wal-mart workers, take note. In other Spears family body news, Britney's weight fluctuates yet again:We know we're not the only ones who heard the"I'm Mrs. 'She's Too Big, Now She's Too Thin'" lyric in Britney's song Piece of Me and wondered: 'in the age of idealized anorexia, who ever thought Britney was too thin?' Now we have our culprit: the Daily Mail said BritBrit looked "unbelievably svelte" while grabbing her nightly frappucino this weekend before catching My Best Friend's Girl, in which her vagina starred as the left side of Dane Cook's face. [Photo Credits: X17, Getty Images]
♦ Martha Stewart has been busy wielding the ax. First she fired one of her show's directors; now she's cut her longtime hairstylist/makeup artist, allegedly because the staffer was spending too much on makeup and hair dye. [P6]
♦ The doctor who has been treating DJ AM and Travis Barker since their plane crash on Friday says both men should make full recoveries. Four others died in the wreck and investigators now suspect a blown tire was the cause. [People, LAT]
♦ Ron Perelman and Pat Duff are still fighting in court over their daughter Caleigh. It seem the teenager is still skipping out on those court-ordered visits with her mom. [P6]
♦ Lindsay Lohan will be a judge on the first episode of next season's Project Runway. [NYDN]
♦ Tina Fey was a big winner at the Emmys last night. You can check out a full list of winners here. [ET]
It ain't easy being Lynne Spears: sure, you can live off the wealth accumulated from your daughters' hard work and sell their teen pregnancy secrets to OK! for a million dollars, but occasionally, people will think you're a bad parent! That's why it's important for Lynne to set the record straight, and the Today Show gave her just the forum this morning. Hawking her book Through the Storm, Lynne discussed the perils of overexposing your children, something that will surely be nipped in the bud by her incredibly revealing tell-all about daughter Britney's loss of virginity. Congratulations, Lynne: here's your celebratory Cheeto. [Today]
How does an unwed teen mother like Jamie Lynn Spears occupy her free time, now that the father of her baby is out touching tongues with predatory cougars? Why, by taking an interest in politics, of course! In the tradition of amateur pundit Lindsay Lohan and Swiftian theorist Albert Brooks, Jamie Lynn is the latest celeb to weigh in on the Sarah Palin Juneau scandal, but the starlet isn't content to confine her thoughts to a mere blog post. No, according to CelebTV, she's actually sending a gift to fellow teen mother Bristol Palin:
Now that Britney's sister Jamie Lynn Spears has just "had the damn Caesarian already," you might think the 17-year-old would be free to raise her new baby in relative peace. Sadly, the newest issue of InTouch arrives bearing the gift of postpartum depression; the magazine has alleged that babydaddy Casey Aldridge has been cheating on Jamie Lynn with an older woman, 28-year-old Kelli Dawson. They even have proof: incriminating pictures of the two touching tongues as though they were eight-year-olds who wanted to try out the exotic concept known as "french kissing." Says the mag:
Though they've already missed the perfect Mother's Day window, publisher Thomas Nelson, Inc. has just released new information on a parenting guide/cautionary tale penned by Britney and Jamie Lynn materfamilias Lynne Spears and set for release next month. Dubbed Through the Storm, the book will no doubt prove instructive to any stage mother willing to milk her daughters for all they're worth, subsequently ignoring them when their pregnancies/mental breakdowns interfere with a novelty T-shirt sale at Kitson (free out-of-season Uggs with any purchase!). Says Star Magazine:
Ah, the three trimesters of Hollywood child birth: 1. pretend to love pregnancy, 2. schedule a c-section in order to sidestep any labor or stretching of siren vag, and 3. whore out your newborn's picture to the highest bidder. It's such a magical time! And while there are critics, it's a natural response to choose to splash your baby's face across the tabloids, especially when you constantly publicly reminisce about the good ol' days when you could buy panty liners in private. And why participate in the Hollywood Baby Bonanza? It's not like the early publicity will morph your kid into some kind of poorly mannered fauxhawked skunk. However, it will get you paid.
America's celebrity magazines are facing a grave situation: the interest in celebrities themselves is not great enough to move the millions of copies they need to sell. No, all that people really want to see are celebrity babies. That's where the money is these days. But the vital open flow of capital in our national celebrity baby picture market is being threatened by OK! magazine's blatant pandering and deep pockets. Can we accept a bunch of sleazy, credulous Brits winning the first $15 million-plus baby picture auction? It staggers the mind! Here is the nature of the threat:
There was a time — let's call it "January" — that Britney Spears and her sister Jamie Lynn appeared to be a post-holiday gift granted to us by the benevolent Tabloid Gods: while Britney checked into the psych ward and spurned Dr. Phil's advances, Jamie Lynn pulled a Juno and got pregnant at age 16. Since then, though, the media firestorm surrounding the two has begun to burn out. Even Britney herself appears kind of over it; as Jamie Lynn prepared to give birth away from all the flashbulbs in McComb, Missouri, the slow pace of her natural delivery prompted Brit-Brit to snap her gum in annoyance:
Oh mah gawww y'all! Britney Spears is an aunt! Jamie Lynn Spears, sister to gumball-filled ex-singer Britney, has spurted out a baby! The 17-year-old GED-certified ex-Nickelodeon star welcomed daughter Maddie to the steamy, southrun world in McComb, Mississippi this morning. Britney and family were there, along with Jamie Lynn's fiancé and baby daddy, 19-year-old Casey Aldridge, a pipe layer (hahahaha! seriously that's his job! a pipe layer!) Spears' pal (and fellow member of the Tabloid Class of 2010) Miley Cyrus, said that she's "proud of her." So, another addition to this noble bloodline. We personally wish the happy new family all the best. We professionally wish them all the worst.
We can now joyfully report that Jamie Lynn Spears, 17-year-old sister to Britney and an accomplished children's TV star in her own right, has delivered her first child at Mississippi Southwest Regional Medical Center in McComb, Us reports. It's a healthy girl, named Maddie, weighing in at 7 lbs., 11 ounces. New-Spears-Family-Member fun facts after the jump!
Time to mark your calendars: Lynne Spears, mother of Britney and Jamie Lynn, has an official September release date for her memoir about raising two of the world’s most tabloid-friendly children, Through The Storm: A Real Story About Family And Fame In A Tabloid World. In the book, Spears will supposedly take the Dina Lohan route and disguise motherly resentment as motherly love and “express her love for her children and tell their stories through a mother's eyes,” according to the publisher, who specializes in “inspirational books and Bibles.” But how rosy and cozy can the tome’s description of family life be with a title referring to said life as a “storm”? And given the nature of celebrity family members' tell-alls in the past, coupled with the assurance that this will not be “a parenting book,” we certainly hope Lynne follows in the footsteps of Nancy Aniston and Virgie Arthur by revealing a bit more dirt than the rote "Britney And Jamie Lynn Were Perfect Angels" tales (given the fact that they’re, um, not these days). We took a closer look at five of the most trash-talking tell-alls from stars’ estranged and/or envious relatives to whet our appetite in the meantime:
Despite less-than-stellar ratings and only one season in the bank, the creators of the hormonally charged, red lipstick-laced Gossip Girl are already hard at work on putting together a spin-off. As THR reports, producers will use the original books’ It Girl series as a blueprint, in which the social-climbing, scandalous and date rape-prone Jenny Humphrey character (Taylor Momsen) is shipped off to boarding school to clean up her act — just as the show’s main character, Serena Van Woodsen, had been punished for bad girl behavior like sex with BFFs’ boyfriends and being an über-lush by spending a year in the supposedly rigid countryside enclaves north of Manhattan. As the producers spin their wheels hoping that GG network CW bites, we took a look back on the Boarding School For Bad Boys And Girls phenomenon on television to get a sense of how ridiculously and erroneously Hollywood writers have been depicting these New England pastures in the past:
Baby showers tend to be happy, innocuous gatherings dabbled with smiley supportive friends, gushing family members and the occasional guest who clearly doesn't want to be there. But when Juno Lynn Spears throws a big ol' baby party down in sweet home Louisiana, party guests also include armed guards and security detail. Why? Well, big sis Britney came to town, bringing her best pair of booty shorts and that memorable messy blonde bun from her barefoot bathroom escapade days along. The rest of the guest list, including which family member was noticeably missing, after the jump.
While Jamie Lynn Spears may be seventeen and unmarried and pregnant, the Zoey 101 star refuses to become barefoot and pregnant. According to inside sources, Spears has found even wearing the simplest pair of flip flops to be taxing and annoying in the final days of her pregnancy, but she does not want to embody anymore clichés circling her current situation. Spears felt its bad enough that she's pregnant and unmarried, but to be barefoot as well? That would make her want to die.
