So, which finance CEOs snagged invites to tomorrow's financial reform signing ceremony, with the despised Barack Obama? Most of them! Except JP Morgan's Jamie Dimon and Goldman's Lloyd Blankfein, the "cool ones." They'll be alright. [Photo: AP]

Hottie banker Debrahlee Lorenzana says Citibank fired her for being too hot. Now, if she doesn't lay off the media appearances, she could be fired from her new job at Chase. Plus! Watch video of hottie banker in action!

The grads at Syracuse U weren't about to stand idly by while That Rich Corporate Fucker, JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon, gave their commencement speech. They had a plan—a protest plan. Possibly the saddest college graduation protest plan of 2010.

Some Syracuse students are planning on protesting the school choosing JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon as its commencement speaker by taking off their robes! No word on what's underneath. Probably nothing, because JP Morgan stole all their clothes. [NYM, Getty]

The New York Times' David Kirkpatrick delivers the shocking and troubling news that Wall Street bankers are so disappointed in Barack Obama that they've started giving money to Republicans. Bankers! To Republicans!

"JPMorgan Chase & Co. Chief Executive Officer Jamie Dimon, who led the second-biggest U.S. bank to a profit each quarter of the financial crisis, got a bonus package valued at $17 million for 2009 that didn't include any cash. The 53-year-old banker, who got a $27.8 million bonus for 2007 and only a $1 million salary for 2008, received restricted stock units and options and no cash bonus for last year, spokesman Joseph Evangelisti said. The valuation of his 2009 bonus was based on a JPMorgan regulatory filing today. "It's consistent with past pay practices and returns," said Alan Johnson, founder of New York-based Johnson Associates Inc. "You could argue that for him, personally, pay could have been higher, but this isn't the year for them to have done that." There's always next year! [BN]

Yesterday, JPMorgan's Jamie Dimon and Goldman Sachs' Lloyd Blankfein talked to Congress about why they're sitting on billions of profits and you're broke. CityFile cataloged the many emotions on display.

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Four titans of the financial world—including Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein—are testifying before the Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission today, and boy are they sophisticated in their exegeses about how they almost killed us all.

Change isn't easy. Just ask Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein and Morgan Stanley chief John Mack, both of whom were unable to personally attend a meeting with the president in Washington today after their US Airways flights were delayed because of "fog."

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's charitable foundation handed out $6.4 million last year, or about three times what the CEOs of Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan, Lloyd Blankfein and Jamie Dimon, gave away last year put together. The beneficiaries of the Jolie-Pitt Foundation are below.

Is Jamie Dimon in line to replace Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner? That's that the Post suggests today, pointing to increased chatter in political circles that the JPMorgan Chase chief would make a "good fit," and Dimon's own efforts to build a higher profile in Washington in recent weeks. One thing that's for sure: 50 Cent is going to be crushed to hear this news today. [NYP]

Goldman Sachs is on track to turn in its most profitable year ever, and the bank's near collapse last fall—along with the financial system as a whole—is quickly becoming a distant memory for Goldman chief Lloyd Blankfein. So why is he giving less money to charity than he did before the downturn?

Looking for a job on Wall Street? Great news! Two weeks after JPMorgan revealed plans to hire an additional 1,000 brokers (a move that was quickly followed by the announcement that JPMorgan chief Jamie Dimon's dad was joining his son's firm) comes word that the bank is going on another hiring binge.

Jamie Dimon, the CEO of JPMorgan, is a towering genius of finance, Obama hanger-on, savior of Wall Street, and irritable dick. He's also long liked to wear tight jeans, as his 1974 yearbook page makes clear.

Gawker scored a copy of Jamie Dimon's high school yearbook from 1974, which means you can now see what the CEO of JPMorgan Chase (and America's most powerful banker) looked like during his Johnny Cash days. NB: If you graduated from Brooklyn's Thomas Jefferson High School in 1971, we'd love to hear from you. [Gawker]

Wall Street CEOs make a fortune, as you're undoubtedly aware. Even the chief executives of banks that have been bailed-out by Washington or have gone bust usually end up doing nicely. But despite the riches and perks these men have accumulated and massive egos they've developed along the way, few of them would do all that well in a beauty contest. Because it's high time that Wall Street take advantage of the miracle of modern science—and because we care, dammit—we took the liberty of contacting Dr. Anthony Youn, a board-certified plastic surgeon who has made appearances on Dr. 90210 and the Rachael Ray Show, to ask him what procedures he'd suggest these titans of finance consider if they want to look their very best. Dr. Youn's answers and cost estimates—and our commentary—is below.

This week's issue of New York has come up with a list of the 12 most powerful people in town. (Well, the 11 most powerful behind Michael Bloomberg, that is.) They are (in no particular order): Al Sharpton, Howard Rubenstein, Sheldon Silver, Stephen Ross, Jamie Dimon, Herb Pardes, Anna Wintour, Andrew Cuomo, Mike Fishman, Chuck Schumer, and Rupert Murdoch. [NYM]

JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon shared some delightful news this morning. As expected, the bank posted super-solid earnings for the third quarter, generating $3.6 billion in profit based on $26.6 billion in revenue, results that were considerably higher than what Wall Street analysts were expecting. The House of Dimon also revealed that it's set aside $8.79 billion for compensation and benefits for the first nine months of 2009, just about enough to pay out $353,834 to each JPMorgan Chase employee. But don't think that's a good thing. It isn't! Because Goldman Sachs set aside $386,429 per employee for the first half of the year, and will likely put JPMorgan to shame when it reports earnings tomorrow. If you were thinking this world was unjust because millions of Americans don't have decent health insurance and a billion children around the world live below the poverty line, do yourself a favor and head over to JPMorgan HQ on Park Avenue later this afternoon and observe the people streaming out of the building. That, friends, is the true face of misery. [WSJ, Bloomberg]

We've said it before and we'll say it again: Mess with Jamie Dimon and you do so at your own risk. Last fall, during the bleakest moments of the financial crisis, the JPMorgan CEO began receiving threatening letters from a man who was angry about losing money a chunk of money following JPMorgan's acquisition of Washington Mutual. The anonymous letter-writer didn't just threaten to kill Dimon and promise to "McVeigh" the bank's New York office building. He also included a bit of white powder in one of the envelopes, which set off an anthrax scare at JPMorgan HQ. Duff McDonald recounts the episode in his new book on Dimon, Last Man Standing: The Ascent of Jamie Dimon and JPMorgan Chase: