If you have "responsibilities" and "a life," you may not know that Paris Hilton is searching for a best friend on her new MTV reality show. So how does one get in on that sweet action and earn the right to hang with Hilton (for as long as the cameras are rolling)? MTV suggests you start by heading over to http://parisbff.com and creating a profile. Then, if you get enough votes, you could be picked for the show. You'll be in good company because two of the most celebrated members of Howard Stern's Wack Pack have already done so.

Paris Hilton is not going to just stand by idly while the likes of Lo Conrad and her posse of entitled Hills chickettes steal all of her thunder. The lazy-eyed heiress is returning to the reality television fold in a yet-to-be-named project from Ish Entertainment, the production company recently founded by former Vh1 reality show maestro Michael Hirschorn. The show will revolve around Paris Hilton's attempts to comb through a gaggle of camera-ready twentysomethings an attempt to find a new "best friend" (read: someone who she'll gladly appear with for a few reunion show photo opps and then promptly never call again). But wait, that's not all! In a move likely prompted by being repeatedly passed over by magazine editors in favor of her spawning friends, Paris is desperately trying to reignite her fading star (a la Sunshine) by, you guessed it, strutting around town with a new boytoy on her arm.

The renegade commenter expats at SLC Outsider, fresh from breaking the news that Jezebel plagiarized a post on SLC Outsider (which bore purely coincidental resemblance to an old Wonkette item) write to ask why we haven't covered the shocking news of the Tionna Smalls/Michael Hirschorn battle. Maybe because we don't know what the hell is going on.