In a recent episode of Iron Chef, the key ingredient were fresh, green peas. When it came time to critique the dishes, one of the judges had a freudian slip of sorts.

Today at Gawker.TV, Teri Hatcher puts on a few pounds in Desperate Housewives, Regis Philbin's over-sharing makes us nauseous, amnesia-ridden Peter teaches himself how to drive by video games, MRI scans-turned-video, and Iron Chef America uses secret White House ingredients.

If you have any children on your lap while reading this post, now's a good time to ask them to leave the room. We're about to reveal some hard truths and some major spoilers about life. Ready? The tooth fairy doesn't exist, Santa Claus could care less whether you're naughty or nice, and reality TV isn't exactly real. We know. It's a bitter pill to swallow, but you had to find out sooner or later. And if we didn't tell you, you would have surely arrived at that conclusion after reading the Village Voice's riveting "exposé" of Iron Chef America.

somewhat edited to make it appear more exciting. The Village Voice sneaks into a taping and finds out that while the show is only one hour on TV, the taping takes several hours more. And the people don't run around nearly as much in the actual studio—some chefs were even seen stacking up spices, instead of throwing them around wildly as they rushed to complete their gourmet dish in time to bring it over to the celebrity judges. Kind of funny, though: the network uses body doubles for iron chefs Bobby Flay and Mario Batali, on the days they won't be competing. Well, no use dragging Batali out of bed for nothing. When the Voice's Robert Sietsema sees dishes being replaced before they get to the judges, he is outraged; when he feels the wrong guy wins the competition, he is dismayed. If you take "Iron Chef" much too seriously, this is the investigative piece you've been waiting for [VV]. If not, just check out this judge on the show saying "penis:"