Spotted in Iowa this weekend: Sarah Palin sporting spotted toenails. And not the first time, either! Naturally, Andrew Sullivan is incensed.

Former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty has abandoned his sad quest for the presidency after a disappointing third-place finish in yesterday's Iowa straw poll. He told staff Sunday morning.

Republican presidential candidate and pizza magnate Herman Cain cited the inspiring words of a "poet" during his closing statement to Thursday night's presidential debate:

There were too many terrible parts of last night's Republican debate in Iowa. For example: Any time Tim Pawlenty did anything. But the worst, and definitely most dangerous, was when all eight contenders joined forces to be terrible together and promise to never raise taxes one cent, even if it came in a deal that gave them everything they wanted.

All of the candidates, except soon-to-be candidate Rick Perry, are in Ames, Iowa for tonight's Republican debate! Oh wait, neither are Gary Johnson or Thaddeus McCotter or the other loser, Buddy something, or the gay guy. But the others, they're there! So grab your Iowa State Fair fried butter stick and turn on America's channel, Fox News. The future starts below.

Your Gawker Political Desk will be offering live blow-by-blow coverage of tonight's Fox News Republican presidential debate in Iowa, starting at 9pm ET. Join us for what is sure to be a civil, adult discussion about America's future.

The Obama reelection campaign better send Mitt Romney a thank-you note today, for uttering such a clip-worthy attack ad statement — "Corporations are people too, my friend" — at the Iowa State fair today, in response to some libtard hecklers. Come on, Mittens! You, specifically, look quite bad saying such things!

The Republican candidates have all gathered in Ames, Iowa tonight for a terrifying Fox News debate. Did they really need to do this on a night with so many wonderful NFL preseason games? Lord, do they ever hate America. Anyway, what will they babble about, and who will win, and what else? Let's explore!

"To honor the butter cow's 100th birthday," the Iowa State Fair is selling deep fried butter on a stick this year. It is a butter stick on a stick, dipped in batter, deep fried, and drizzled with more butter.

Three million cheers for Sarah Palin! Here we were just a few minutes ago, sorting through the doldrums of August political news and economic chaos, when suddenly the monster from Wasilla announced that the long-promised Part II of her Tour de Grift bus ride will proceed through the Heartland starting later this week.

Stephen Colbert's "Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow" Super PAC has released its first television ad in Iowa ahead of this weekend's Ames Straw Poll. Colbert has decided to endorse the non-attending Texas Gov. Rick Perry as a write-in, but spelled "Rick Parry." What else... the ad has some jokes and stuff in it? We don't know, just watch it and think whatever you think.

The Ames, Iowa Straw Poll, which some would consider the summer's best opportunity for middling Republican presidential campaigns to build momentum or fail completely, is only a few days away! So what mixture of carnival games and free food will the contenders use to trick voters into supporting them? Let's run down the list.

Bookmark this post! Because the above web ad shows the first and probably last time that presidential candidate Rick Santorum will take a stab at the Devil's favorite instrument of terror, "humor."

Texas Gov. Rick Perry looks to have a fine chance of winning the Republican presidential nomination if he runs, which he probably will, no? Just look at this "teaser" SuperPAC ad that his rich Texas supporters are running for him in Iowa. It is happy happy happy. Balanced budgets! Millions of jobs! Corn, being husked! Rick Perry will do all of these things for America, when he rules it as his fiefdom.

It's fun to watch Tim "Two Percent" Pawlenty hatch a new lame scheme each week to try to get anyone interested in his tries-too-hard presidential campaign.

A pleasantly awkward video from March of Bob Vander Plaats, the CEO of the group that's produced the infamous and hilarious "Marriage Vow" for Republican presidential candidates to sign in Iowa, has surfaced. Watch as he laughs his ass off at a dumb anti-joke about the gays.

An Iowa organization called The Family Leader has drawn up an extremely well detailed pledge for the Republican presidential candidates to sign called "The Marriage Vow." According to the group's CEO, the new pledge is "vitally necessary because the sanctity of marriage is in crisis and leadership is desperately needed." And now Michele Bachmann has become the first candidate to sign it! So what's in this beaut of a pledge?

What this 2012 presidential race needs — what America needs, really — is another wiseass Tea Party conservative mid-level congressman with niche appeal to further dilute the far right primary vote and effectively hand the nomination over to Mitt Romney. Fortunately it looks like five-time Michigan Rep. Thad McCotter will be that much needed extra spoiler. He's in it, and he's in it to win it!

Good morning, you bacon-egg-and-cheese biscuit-eating motherfuckers. Here's a brand new video from the group Mercy For Animals, showing exactly where that bacon you love so much comes from.

Kicking off her presidential campaign in Waterloo, Iowa, Michele Bachmann explained the geographic significance to Fox News: "Well what I want them to know is just like, John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa. That's the kind of spirit that I have, too."