Considering that Newt Gingrich's typical campaign stop is a book signing or a movie premiere, and that he's Newt Gingrich, one of our nation's more shameless specimens, many have wondered whether, perhaps, this odd 2012 presidential run was merely a promotional stunt for the Gingriches to sell more of their dime-store wingnut porn. This latest outside-group ad that's running in Iowa goes a long way towards confirming that.

University of Iowa professor and pretentious troll-journalist Stephen Bloom recently wrote an article in The Atlantic mocking Iowa as a backward, hick-filled state full of people smoking meth out of corncobs (paraphrasing). Which it is, probably! (Never been there personally, thank god.) But now Stephen Bloom has literally fled the state in terror to "an undisclosed location" after Iowans got mad at him. You're doing this all wrong, Stephen Bloom.

Rick Perry's latest ad, "American Story," starts off with a good concept: It eliminates "Rick Perry" from the ad altogether, instead leaving things to his wife, Anita. She tells us about their early years, like when Rick Perry joined the Air Force and "flew planes all over the world." Okay, fine. But then, around, :24, her husband makes his entrance. Nay — he makes the campaign ad entrance of the year, hopping onto a ledge. Oh my God. [Standing ovation.]

Blabbering corpuscle Newt Gingrich told a gay man in Iowa yesterday that he'd rather have gay people just vote for Barack Obama than show the gay community any support. Don't worry, Newt, no one is going to vote for you anyway.

Alright, it was cute when Republican base trolled us with the Trump, Bachmann, Perry, and Cain surges and collapses (surglapses, we'll call them, or perhaps anti-boners), but throwing Newt Gingrich onto the heap of other Potemkin candidates after he was leading by 20 points everywhere like a week ago, this late in the process, is cruel.

Tonight is that most important of nights for Iowa Republicans: Their final chance to see our beloved field of Republican presidential candidates say the same things they say in every debate. But will they say these things differently? Who will fuck up most comically? Go soak that tampon in grain alcohol, put on a fresh pair of pants, and let's find out — together.

There's another Fox News GOP debate in Iowa tonight? Let's make silly jokes about it for two hours! The Gawker Political Desk's coverage will start at 9:00. Until then, we'll be stocking up on chemicals to huff.

Those of you who are from or who currently live in one of America's more backwards states (Southern states, Southwestern states, all middle American states, or any part of any state on either coast outside of a major metropolitan area) know that there are few pleasures easier or more satisfying than making fun of America's more backward states. I mean, you don't have to be some great wit. A half-dumb child could easily offend a resident of, say, Georgia. And could probably do so more easily than a more eloquent critic, given the state's average reading comprehension.

Just as Newt Gingrich was rising to his spot as the nearly prohibitive favorite to win the Republican presidential nomination, he made a pledge not to "go negative" on his political opponents. Or, in cocksure Newt-speak: "They're not going to be the nominee. I don't have to go around and point out the inconsistencies of people who aren't going to be the nominee. They're not going to be the nominee." But guess who's pointing out his opponents' "inconsistencies today, and always, very negatively? This is the worst pledge ever.

While campaigning in Iowa, secessionist prime minister of Texas Rick Perry leaked some classified intelligence when he told his audience of hecklers and hog farmers that, for an unknown period of time, the U.S. has been secretly funding "the country Solynda."

Time for your daily dose of Giving Donald Trump Any Kind of Publicity! Today: The shrieking mudbuttface's precious little debate is in tatters. Michele Bachmann has turned him down, setting the final roster of participants at Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Rick Santorum, and Newt Gingrich, and Rick Santorum. Or some combination of two.

Rick Perry's gay-baiting Iowa ad didn't just anger human rights activists, gay service members, and gay Republicans. It roiled some of the people who work for him.

Rick Perry is the latest candidate to turn down Donald Trump's debate. Now, assuming the debate isn't canceled, it will just be Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, and potentially Michele Bachmann fielding awful questions from this NBC television actor.

The good Governor Sandwiches of New Jersey, our old pal Chris Christie, was out stumping for Mitt Romney in Iowa yesterday (poor guy) when local America- and capitalism-destroying monsters of Occupy Des Moines pulled out the "people's mic" on him.

Here's the ten millionth consecutive miserable Rick Perry ad to run in Iowa, titled "Strong." Let's make fun of it line by line, shall we?

Keep in mind is that Donald Trump has already won. He got the opportunity to moderate a presidential debate right before primary season, and two candidates have already accepted. To get even one candidate to accept an invitation to something so blindingly stupid and farcical would've been a once-in-a-generation political feat. Nevertheless, it's possible that the final head count may stop at two debaters, leaving the debate well short of maximum comedic capacity.

What is this shit, Perry? Here we've got the third Rick Perry ad of this week, and what does it tell us: nothing. No, strike that: It tells us something. It tells us that the Rick Perry campaign is just going to spend all of that money it raised this summer on worthless bland ads until there's nothing left, and he can finally peace the hell out and return to his beloved Niggerhead.

Things went down last night at the Pizza Ranch in Waverly, Iowa, at the town hall meeting Michele Bachmann held. One high school student dared to stand up for herself and challenge Bachmann's backward stance on gay marriage.

Here's the problem with Rick Perry's campaign: He and his SuperPACs have all this money, but no one really likes him anymore or has any interest in re-liking him. Where's all this money he duped everyone out of early on supposed to go? As of now it looks like he'll just keep saturating Iowa teevees with his same heartland-y ads over and over.

Each day seems to bring a new video from the hacktivist collective Anonymous threatening some spectacular attack, then everyone freaks out. This week, Anonymous is threatening to disrupt the Iowa Caucuses. After a month of fake Anonymous scares, we call bullshit.