Intern Mary started a blog! It's brilliant, it's simple: roommate stories! It's called We Share a Toilet and she's seeking submissions. Also, probably, an agent. [We Share a Toilet]

A collective "HOLY SHIT" was heard round the media world yesterday over the news that New York Governor Eliot "Spitz" Spitzer paid for play with painted harlots in the Mayflower hotel. A classic political sex scandal with all the fixin's is a welcome break from droll primary coverage. After the jump, a graphical breakdown of media reaction to 3/10/08.

It's no secret that Bill "Papa Bear" O'Reilly is a media punchingbag. So when Intern Mary heard about his recent claim that homeless veterans don't exist, she began to wonder if Bill's comments were taken out of context and spun into oblivion by crazed bloggers like they always seem to be. Does Bill only talk about patriotism and veterans when he's trying to make a point? Yearning to discover the real Bill, she dove into Billoreilly.com once more to find out just what Bill has said about vets in the past. The results of the search, in handy chart form (along with representative samples!), after the jump.

With the news that Britney's little sister Jamie Lynn Spears was preggers came an avalanche of media insanity. Will we have not one, but two Spears vaginas to keep track of now? Whose baby will fetch more cash for tabloid photos? Whose baby's daddy will have the worse rap career? And what about Gramma Spears' bookdeal? Let's take a look at the sibling rivalry and the JLS reaction.

"I'm here to see Dave Eggers."

Our Intern Mary has applied her sharp analytical mind and excellent Excel skill to Inside Inside, the wretched memoir by Inside the Actor's Studio host James Lipton. We've already examined the man's choice in epigraphs (pretentious), his favorite holiday (ridiculous) and his taste in women (whorish). But now the hard data is in.

For the truly last-minute shoppers among us, our brave Intern Mary has looked at the top 220 Halloween costumes for women on Amazon and eBay. Would you like to be a sexy witch? A plus-size witch? A Bavarian woman? A sexy firewoman? A sexy bumblebee? A sexy tinwoman? THAT IS JUST A FEW OF THE 220 OPTIONS THAT YOU HAVE!

"That's how she rolls. Just when you least expect it, Mariska throws you a curve. Over the years, I've come to expect nothing less from the hardest working—and needless to say, hottest—perp-buster on TV." That's from the "blog" of T.V. star Mariska Hargitay, which is written solely by people who are not Mariska Hargitay (but who may know her!). "Preorder your 'XO, M' t-shirts!" reads another "blog" post. It turns out that a lot of celebrity blogs aren't blogs at all, but just a collection of markedly amateurish press releases. But! At the other end of the spectrum, some celebrity blogs are deeply personal, like Al Roker's. He recently wrote a moving eulogy of his mom there! Its gravity is only slightly undermined by the cartoon of Al in a prop plane buzzing around the screen. So what else do famous people do with their personal webjournals? Our Intern Mary applied her analytical tools to the most recent posts on 48 of these sites and came up with some findings.

There are many important factors to take into account when deciding which trash gossip blog best suits your needs. Like: how many times per day would you like to hear about Amy Winehouse? Rosie and the Gays? "Icky icky poo" Bob Barker? How do you feel about the word "shiteous?" Intern Mary has made one of her signature charts, tallying 50 consecutive posts on Friday from both Harvey Levin's AOL/Telepictures (Warner Brothers)-owned gossip site and Mario Armando Lavandeira Jr.'s own place on the web. Which queen of new media should you prefer? It's like, are you hungry for Funyuns or those Andy Capp fries?

Boy, y'all sure had some feelings about whether or not it's ever acceptable for a man and a lady on a date to split the tab! As you recall, my position was "Yes, of course, what century are we living in?" Your positions ranged from "I thinks the man should pay, but only if he is getting some" to "Men should pamper me like the princess I am!" to "I am gay and happier about it because of this post" to "Is this Jezebel?" We recruited Intern Mary to help us discern the misogynist forest from the self-hating trees.

Fox News motormouth Bill O'Reilly is upset—he says that his recent remarks about those oh-so-well-behaved black people in Harlem were totally taken out of context! So we wondered: Well, what context were they in? Searching through the Fox transcripts, using the terms "Black, "African" and "African-American," and discarding comments about Africa (such as about Darfur or the IMF), Intern Mary itemizes the way in which Bill O'Reilly has talked about black people.

This weekend brought us the first iteration of the smaller, cuter Times book review. Last week we learned that the bestseller lists were being revamped and expanded, at the cost of one editorial page, in an effort to appeal more to advertisers. But who's actually placing ads in those pages?

Each morning we wake up, open the front door, grab the newspaper, look at the forecast for the day's high temperature, and dress based on that forecast. (Occasionally we also shower.) And every day, around noon, we find ourselves complaining that we're too hot because the paper was completely wrong. So we asked Intern Mary to track the weekday results of the city's three major papers and the New York Sun against the actual high temperatures over a two-week period. She also looked at the online predictions, for those of you who get your news that way. Her findings may surprise you!

Tonight, tens of thousands of happy New York children will stay up past their bedtimes, lining up at bookstores for when the final "Harry Potter" book is released at a minute after midnight. But how safe will they be? Cross-referencing the list of local Harry Potter parties with the sex offender registry, we can reveal that these children will be surrounded by literally dozens of baby rapists and other offenders! Is no place safe? Actually, yes, some place is! We've identified the safest New York-area place to take your child tonight. The answer may surprise you!

This week, the New York Times increased its weekday paper's newsstand price to $1.25. (Sunday's paper now goes to $4 from $3.50.) The paper's daily price was 25 cents in 1980, 30 cents in 1982, and 35 cents in 1988—by 1999, the price was 75 cents, and then a dollar in 2002. But how have the paper's price increases kept up with the other costs and benefits of being a liberal? Intern Mary, with some crazy science, breaks down the paper's price versus the stock prices of Volvo and Whole Foods, the yearly number of marijuana related arrests, and the rate of inflation.

Since June 30, there have been 102 postings on the New York Craigslist personals that mention the iPhone. Ranging from anal sex in exchange for an iPhone (give it to get it) to missed connections at the Genius bar, they make for a stunning display of humanity and its sad vulgar needs. There are poems and something about how Starbucks gave people iPhones but there was urine in the coffee? There are some clearly fake iPhone phone sex requests and apparently someone already dropped theirs down the toilet. There is of course some general douchiness. And so much more. Intern Mary breaks it all down for you in a handy pie graph.