"That's how she rolls. Just when you least expect it, Mariska throws you a curve. Over the years, I've come to expect nothing less from the hardest working—and needless to say, hottest—perp-buster on TV." That's from the "blog" of T.V. star Mariska Hargitay, which is written solely by people who are not Mariska Hargitay (but who may know her!). "Preorder your 'XO, M' t-shirts!" reads another "blog" post. It turns out that a lot of celebrity blogs aren't blogs at all, but just a collection of markedly amateurish press releases. But! At the other end of the spectrum, some celebrity blogs are deeply personal, like Al Roker's. He recently wrote a moving eulogy of his mom there! Its gravity is only slightly undermined by the cartoon of Al in a prop plane buzzing around the screen. So what else do famous people do with their personal webjournals? Our Intern Mary applied her analytical tools to the most recent posts on 48 of these sites and came up with some findings.

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METHODOLOGY: We started with this list of 66 blogging celebrities, added a few faves, eliminated the Huffington Post bloggers, and excluded presidential contenders, because that shit is bananas. Here's the raw data:

  1. David Beckham - recent soccer game (self promo)
  2. Zach Braff - movies and playlists
  3. Mark Cuban - dancing
  4. No Doubt - recent recordings (self promo)
  5. Moby - indecipherable poetry
  6. Meredith Vieira - getting a mammogram
  7. Fred Durst - indecipherable rant
  8. Barbra Streisand - Rush Limbaugh - PR release
  9. Jeff Bridges - recent casting (honorable mention for rad site design)
  10. John Mayer - OJ Simpson watch
  11. Rosie O'Donnell - "feel alright" video
  12. Margaret Cho - Rosie O'Donnell
  13. Dave Barry - Fun pets
  14. Jamie Oliver - pubs
  15. William Shatner - ShatnerVision
  16. Alyssa Milano - Upcoming gigs
  17. Dave Navarro - The fastest Asian-American in the world
  18. Julia Sweeney -long-winded narrative of regular events
  19. Donald Trump - purely self promo
  20. Tom Green - video: hiding in a suitcase
  21. Kevin Smith - long-winded narrative of regular events
  22. Mariska Hargitay - purely self promo
  23. David Byrne - sexual selection and creativity
  24. Curt Schilling - purely self promo
  25. Anna Kournikova - purely self promo
  26. Roseanne - Karen Finley (awesome)
  27. Kanye West - the "illest" shoe award
  28. Billy Morrison - the Bahamas
  29. Jason Mraz - whining about jetlag
  30. Kathy Griffin - Catholic Chuch
  31. MC Hammer - "Look University"
  32. Pamela Anderson - purely self promo
  33. Al Roker - eulogy to mother
  34. Brian Williams - purely self promo (N.B.: Usually not self promo, actually quite good, we just caught him on an off moment)
  35. The Dixie Chicks - purely self promo
  36. Anderson Cooper - the GOP (written by minion)
  37. Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen - purely self promo
  38. Victoria Beckham - purely self promo
  39. Bare Naked Ladies - photo of a ship
  40. Deepak Chopra - genetics
  41. Michael Moore - purely self promo
  42. Tommy Lasorda - baseball
  43. David Duchovny - purely self promo
  44. Jackie Chan - purely self promo
  45. Kirstie Alley - weight loss
  46. Neil Gaiman - writing
  47. Ru Paul - "THIS SHIT IS BANANAS!" (bonus points: old school blogger!)
  48. Mark Hoppus - purely self promo