Entourage star Jeremy Piven spent a good portion of his lunch yesterday wondering why he didn't have any company. Piven asked his waitress at a New York City eatery if she thought that season premiere of his HBO laffer wasn't quite up to snuff. The waitress remarked, "Eh, I missed it. I was watching Mad Men on Sunday night and sort of flipping back and forth between the VMAs." Piven then asked her if she was planning on watching it On Demand, but the waitress shook her head "no", then excused herself by explaining that she needed to get Diet Coke refills over to Table 12.

Bucking the latest Hollywood fad, hunky indie film star Mark Ruffalo carried his own luggage after he landed in Toronto. The Brothers Bloom star is in town for the annual film festival and felt that carrying his own luggage was the normal thing to do. Ruffalo said, "It's my stuff. It's my wife's stuff. So, why make some driver carry it? It wasn't his decision to pack fourteen different outfits. It was my stylist's decision. Actually, come to think of it, she should be the one carrying all this stuff."

A mysterious man wearing a gray blazer offered 90210 star Shannen Doherty a friendly shove outside of the Ed Sullivan theater on Thursday night. This caused Doherty to experience a temporary flashback to her childhood, when her shyness prevented her from adequately conversing with her father's golf buddies. After hiding behind the gray blazered chap for a couple of minutes, the mystery man encouraged Shannen to talk to the people gathered outside instead of bolting directly to her Town Car. "Come on and smile for the nice people," he said. "You're kind of back. Let's not screw it up, okay? And show the nice people that nice dance you learned, too."

As shooting on 30 Rock dragged into the wee hours of the morning, popular actress Jennifer Aniston offered free neck rubs and body massages to day players and crew members to boost morale. Aniston said, "I finally got a chance to put those six months at massage school to good use. It's just so nice to give back." Aniston's makeshift massage tent generated a huge line, despiteher strict anti-happy ending policy. Aniston added, "That's kind of gross. Maybe if the individual was my lover, but a lighting guy, not so much. Love what they do, but not that much."

Everybody's' favorite Brenda 2.0, AKA Shenae Grimes, remained all smiles while filming on the set of the hit CW series yesterday. When asked about why she appears to be so happy, Grimes replied, "The show is a hit! I get to work with Gangy! I'm up for the role of Bristol Palin in a Lifetime movie! Why not smile? Everything is coming up Shenae these days!"

["NO SWITZERLAND," the notes for this photo loudly proclaim. Something about their neutrality just doesn't agree with this photo of former The View bobble head Star Jones at the US Open; image via INF]

While the Labor Day holiday traditionally spells the end of summertime, Christina Ricci believes otherwise. Ricci, along with her Speed Racer co-star/boyfriend Kick Gurry, took full advantage of the empty beaches of Malibu on Tuesday afternoon. In between tanning sessions and delightful romps through the surf, Ricci said, "It's the perfect time for a beach trip. No kids. No teens. No tourists. I'd be so depressed if I had to spend my day trapped in an office with weather like this. It's amazing!."

[Natalie Portman at the Venice International Film Festival in, um, Venice today; image via INF]

On the set of the popular ABC series Ugly Betty, Lindsay Lohan ushered in the next big fad in celebrity fashion: cheerleader outfits. Taking a page out of Heroes star Hayden Panettiere's playbook, Lohan ordered the uniform online and it has been a perfect fit ever since. Lohan said, "People are always on my case about my leggings or not wearing a bra. With this uniform, who's going to bust my shit? It's wholesome. It reminds everybody how awesome their high school experience was. And if you're bored at work, you can cut out my photo and turn me into your fantasy football team's mascot." Lohan explained that she did not want to be any one's scapegoat if their fantasy team lays an egg this season. Lohan added, "It's not my fault that you went with Reggie Bush instead of someone dependable like a Marion Barber."

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[Lauren Conrad, star of the Frontline special series "The Hills" out and about in the city of strip malls last night; image via INF] ColonelMustard's new line beats the original, Reality Star Ignores Signs About Her Chosen Profession.

Jazz musician/actor Jeff Goldblum was spotted prowling the urban jungle of Manhattan on Wednesday afternoon. At first, it appeared that the Goldblum had trouble readjusting to the hustle and bustle of the Big Apple. According to onlookers, Goldblum looked pensive while trying to enjoy a cappuccino at a café. The witness said, "It seemed like he was really missing L.A." After leaving the café, however, his frown turned upside down when he began chatting up a young filly. According to another onlooker, Goldblum did not appear to be as pensive as before, adding, "It looked like he was using the old 'I'm new to town' routine and I think it worked."

Spiderman 3 star Kirsten Dunst was spotted sneaking out of a Soho highrise and into a pickup truck this morning. In between projects, Dunst has been earning a second income as a house painter; she's been getting up bright and early in order to finish a house-painting job out in Ronkonkoma. Dunst's co-workers have nothing but sparkling praise for her. One co-worker said, "I thought she was going to be, you know, high maintenance. You know, 'Ew, my clothes have paint on them. Why does it smell? Why do we have to listen to classic rock all day?' But no, she's been a trouper. Some days, I don't think she's showered from the day before."

Taking a break from his campaign to play the Riddler in the next Batman film, Brian Austin Green went to lunch with his gal pal, Megan Fox. During the meal, Green wondered why the Transformers star was lugging around a giant backpack with her instead of her purse. Fox then confessed that the recent earthquakes made her afraid of losing her most valuable possessions, so now she's started carrying them around with her. She then proceeded to list out the contents of the backpack to a shocked Brian Austin Green. It includes: a makeup bag, two designer sweat suits, flip flops, books on Marilyn Monroe and Jayne Mansfield, a laptop, Michael Bay's ego, a ton of scripts, running shoes, an assistant, four different sets of sunglasses, two Blackberry batteries, a lead paper weight, Mad Men season one on DVD and some tadpoles she caught down by the river. Green was rather impressed by Fox's ability to carry on all that weight, but was still a wee bit weirded out by the backpack.

[Bellicose supermodel Naomi Campbell vacationing in Ibiza today; image via INF]

Notoriously camera shy star Mary Kate Olsen appeared to be even more camera shy than usual while out in New York City over the weekend. It appeared that Olsen was second-guessing her decision to let her new beau leave the house wearing that ridiculous hat. Upon entering the eatery, Olsen politely asked if he would remove the hat, saying that it made him look like the long-lost fifth member of the Be-Sharps. The man responded with a clear and firm "No way. I'm trying to bring back the barbershop look. These things are going to be flying off the shelves in Urban Outfitters in three months. The straw skimmer hat is here to stay, kiddo."

[Um, completely-out-of-context spoiler alert? "Gossip Girl" actresses Blake Lively and Leighton Meester fighting on set in Brooklyn last night. And then they stopped and giggled a bit, and played with each other's hair, and smiled coyly, and then they leaned in closer to each other, closer and closer, their breath hot, their eyes wild with possibility, they leaned closer and closer... and then farted; image via INF] Aaron Altman's new line beats the original, Actresses Get Into Terrible Fight About Which Of Their Costars Is Gayer.

[The dreeeeamiest and disturbingly younnggggest Jonas Brother, Nick, headed off to school. Hahah! I am kidding! He is filming a music video in New York City, probably for the Music Television network; image via INF] miasma-protege's new line beats the original, "Let Me Get You Some Coffee To Put That In"

Apparently unconcerned with the prospects of inconveniencing his lunching companions at Orso, The Day The Earth Stood Still star Keanu Reeves took a phone call when the waiter was about to take everyone's order. Reeves told his friend on the other line that he was free to talk and talked for a couple of minutes in a fairly calm voice. One of his tablemates rolled their eyes as Reeves carried on his conversation, then whispered to the rest of the table, "I don't really mind him talking. I just wish it was something interesting, you know? So, I could have something to send into a cool blog or TMZ. You know, I want to be the cool person on the internet for a change." At which point one of the other leaned across the table, grabbed their hands and whispered, "One day, you will. Just not today. Now, could you please pass the olive oil?"

["Gossip Girl" actress Leighton Meester on set yesterday; image via INF]