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Flying Lessons

Richard Lawson · 10/23/08 04:09PM

[A young mother named Britney Spears visits her children at their school in Los Angeles today; image via INF]

Mickey Rourke and Companion Get A Piss Out Of Rome

Douglas Reinhardt · 10/23/08 04:00PM

Click to viewBoomp3.com Pausing slightly during a whirlwind shopping expedition, Mickey Rourke and beloved dog Loki decided to experience Rome in all of its glory and splendor. "It’s a beautiful city," Rourke said. "Just ripe with culture and history; I mean it’s just a real work of art. Something to savoir and behold.” When asked for comment, Loki said she preferred the majesty of Venice and itss various canals. Loki added, “It’s easier to get away with certain things on the street.” [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

'Mrs. Holmes, Can Suri Come Out And Play?'

Douglas Reinhardt · 10/16/08 04:51PM

Click to viewBoomp3.com Making her way to work, Katie Holmes was questioned by a group of local children if Holmes’ daughter, Suri, was available that afternoon. Holmes said that her daughter was off cruising the various solar systems in a brand new shiny space ship. The children told Holmes that she didn’t have to lie about her daughter taking a nap. Holmes nervously laughed for a moment and said, “Yeah, right. She’s taking a nap. She’s just probably dreaming about adventures in a galaxy not that far away or electric sheep.” [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

"I Crashed My Car There Once."

Richard Lawson · 10/07/08 11:58AM

[Actress Lindsay Lohan with deejay Samantha Ronson, whom she is dating, leaving a movie theatre last night; image via INF]

America!

Richard Lawson · 10/03/08 12:29PM

[Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag from "The Hills," who have been shilling for Taco Bell for a little while now, working the drive thru window as some sort hunger awareness stunt; image via INF. There are more of these pictures!!!] TheHonJudgeSmails' new line beats the original, This Picture Almost Defies Captioning

Miley Cyrus Has Nothing Up Her Sleeves

Douglas Reinhardt · 10/02/08 11:20AM

Click to viewBoomp3.com Embattled Disney tween mega star Miley Cyrus proved to the world that she has nothing up her sleeves nor any intention of pulling a practical joke on nearby civilians. Its been rumored that Hannah Montana has been tormenting the sleepy Toluca Lake community with a wave of ding dong ditches and late night Huffy bicycle races. Yet Cyrus remained steadfast in denial of being involved in any shenanigans. Cyrus said, “That wasn’t me, y’all. I’m just too busy to ding dong ditch somebody unless it was that cranky old Mr. Cruthers. He’s soooo weird. Okay, I ding dong ditched his house, but that was it.” [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Actress Gets Bad Reception on Broadway

Richard Lawson · 10/02/08 09:05AM

[Actress Katie Holmes arriving at the Schoenfeld theater last night, where she is performing in "All My Sons," a play about yelling; image via INF] fileunder's new line beats the original, "Ha Ha. No, No. I Just Call 911 Sometimes Just To See If It's Working. Nope. Nothing... Wrong."

There Must’ve Been A Sale On Shiny Suits!

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/29/08 04:50PM

Click to viewBoomp3.com Well-liked movie star Tom Cruise took on the difficult task of escorting the greatest actress in the history of Broadway, Katie Holmes, out for dinner in New York City the other night. Cruise made sure that his beloved significant other wore an outfit similar to his, so they would not get lost in the blinding darkness of 42nd street. Cruise felt the matching shiny suits would help reflect the light in the night as the twosome slowly moved into their awaiting SUV. Cruise said, “I would be so lost if I ever lost my beloved in the big city. That’s why I have to keep such a tight hold of her.” [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

'These Apple Boxes Aren’t As Comfortable As They Should Be'

Douglas Reinhardt · 09/26/08 02:25PM

Click to viewBoomp3.com Popular pint-sized canuck Ellen Page took a slightly uncomfortable seat on an apple box on the set of Whip It. Page wished that the box had a padded cushion hidden inside, but Page made the most of her situation. It was an altogether different story for her co-star Landon Pigg, though. Pigg said, “Well, I’m just sitting on air. I took a couple of mime classes back in France.” Page was impressed by Pigg’s incredible feat of flexibility and dexterity, but she felt it was an even bigger feat of strength and skill to sit on a box for a prolonged period. [Photo Credit: INF Daily] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Migrant Lover

Richard Lawson · 09/26/08 12:10PM

[Because it sort of looks like this Dorothea Lange photograph. That's actress Lindsay Lohan and her deejay girlfriend Samantha Ronson leaving a Los Angeles restaurant last night; image via INF]