Naomi Schaefer Riley was a blogger for the Chronicle of Higher Education until this week, when she was fired for writing this blog post, in which she argued for the elimination of university Black Studies departments, by mocking a few dissertation topics in the field.

¡Hola! That is what the state of Arizona says to its Mexican friends and residents, to distract them from the knife being plunged into their backs at the same moment. The primary problem facing the foreclosure-wracked drought-plagued desert state of Arizona: Mexicans learning things. Arizona will put a stop to that—¡muy rapido!

Mark Judge is a white guy. He lives in DC. He had a bike. A few days ago, his bike was stolen. He doesn't know who stole his bike. But the theft of his bike does have a silver lining: it has freed Mark Judge to be a racist, from now on. Huzzah!

Check out this video of an unbelievably wasted girl tries to have sex with a tree after getting in a fight with it, at Ultra Music Festival 2012, as a crowd gathers in a circle chanting "fuck the tree." Download our free drugs sex tree fight Megaupload Ultra rave ecstasy sex. Free Ultra 2012 download fuck the tree rave music Skrillex Bieber. Drugs Tree. [via Hipster Runoff]

Breitbart.com guy and Human Events editor-at-large Jason Mattera is " D.C.'s Bad Boy Reporter," and what says "bad boy" more than ambushing U2 frontman Bono for a "gotcha" interview about U2's taxes? Ha ha, except that Mattera actually ambushed a Bono impersonator, which may be why he couldn't really answer questions about U2's taxes:

Sex troll Katie Roiphe has taken yet again to Slate to bravely and counterintuitively slay a liberal shibboleth about human sexuality. This time, she is reminding self-satisfied lefties that Rush Limbaugh isn't the only "slut shamer" on the block. Democrats shame sluts, too. Stop shaming them!

As current beef goes, this one is almost as lame as The Weeknd saying that The-Dream looks like the Hamburglar on Twitter, but public name-calling is public name-calling, and so we will share this particularly stupid incident with you: Piers Morgan, CNN's premier ruddy-faced gasbag, is still really pissed at Kate Moss.

Today is International Women's Day. A lot of people on Twitter are wondering when International Men's Day is. Wikipedia tells me: "International Men's Day (IMD) is an annual international event celebrated on 19 November." Don't ever say Gawker doesn't educate its readers.

Laughably lame right-wing filmmaker James O'Keefe III is thinking about suing (broke) liberal website Salon "for their false and malicious reporting." I know this because he asked me, an employee at a liberal website he considers his enemy, for advice.

There's nothing funny, at all, about the years of civil rights violations that took place in East Haven, Conn., where four officers were arrested yesterday for routinely abusing their power and intimidating Latinos who entered the suburb.

Dartblog, a blog dedicated to America's favorite paleo-con farm, has published an alleged draft of an op-ed about to run in the Dartmouth's student paper recounting in exquisite detail the hazing that one frat-inclined student encountered, including being "forced to swim in a kiddie pool full of vomit, urine, fecal matter, semen, and rotten food." Wait, there's more.

Public relations is a field whose cravenness is superseded only by the ineptitude of many of its practitioners. We will do our part to mock, expose, and belittle deserving PR people in our weekly PR Dummies column. This is our second installment.

The best part of any internet news story is when the social media power user and sometime Gawker contributor Katie Notopoulos starts searching for it on Twitter. Like the SOPA-driven Wikipedia blackout, which sure freaked out high school kids—and their teachers.

Because she is stupid, noted daughter and NBC News analyst Meghan McCain told her audience today that the Obamas deserve "an emoticon of privacy." Twice. She meant "a modicum." So close, Meghan.

After apprehending the New Yorker who constructed Molotov cocktails out of Starbucks Frappucino bottles and used them to attack Hindu and Muslim places of worship, a bodega, and a priate residence yesterday, the NYPD extracted a confession from the Frap-otov bomber. He's not a huge bigot, just a minor one with a really strong sense of vengeance, the New York Post reports:

It's the 70th anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, and across the internet, the right wing is commemorating this world-historical event the only way it knows how: by insinuating bizarre things about the Obamas.

To say it had not been a great fourth-quarter for Research in Motion, the Canada-based makers of BlackBerry, would be putting it mildly. There was that embarrassing North American outage, flatlining sales of their new smartphones amid steady growth for competitors, and a stock that has depreciated 77 percent since February of this year. What these guys could really use right about now is some positive publicity. Hahahahahahaha! Sorry.

Here's tubby fibber Piers Morgan interviewing Dane Cook last night about the "very funny" comedian Patrice O'Neal, a male human who died yesterday of a stroke. Morgan thought O'Neal was a woman until he played a clip of him.

Remember when romance-defiling reality hag Patti Stanger went on Bravo's Watch What Happens Live and suggested all gay men were undesirably effeminate sluts fraught with disease and incapable of monogamy? How about when she then lied to Joy Behar about her remarks while simultaneously making even worse ones? If so, you'll be happy to know that Stanger finally issued a proper, well thought-out apology to Andy Cohen on tonight's Millionaire Matchmaker reunion show.

Taking people hostage used to mean something, you know? If you took a guy hostage, it was a big deal. It was a bond for life! These days, though? These days you can't trust your hostages farther than you can throw them, after you've killed them and wrapped their bodies in tarp.