Lib bigots and Muslims are sending America to hell. The only thing that can save us is the one-upmanship of right wing psychos competing to say the most outrageously xenophobic thing. Today's contenders: a television crazy, and a newspaper crazy.

In your misogynist Thursday media column: a college man uses journalism to ensure every woman on campus hates him, the Hartford Courant is counterproductive, Stephen A. Smith is BACK, and Katie Couric makes a listicle.

Dubya has mainly been writing a book in crayon since leaving the Oval Office, with his tongue stuck out to help him concentrate. But, perhaps upset that Michael Steele is the only person regularly gaffe-ing, he's back and giving speeches!

The recent relaunch of GOP.com featured a miniature animated Michael Steele begging for money and an appropriation of the ghost of Jackie Robinson and was the most comically awful thing in the history of the internet. The cost: $1.4 million.

Incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian: Just when you're trying to ignore him, his outbursts interrupt an ABC newsman trying to interview fraudulent faith healer Benny Hinn. Twice. Ronn is such an asshole he embarrasses Benny Hinn. Watch and be amazed.

A 15-year old was charged with illegal tattooing after being "cool" and branding his friend.

Math is hard and taxes are Satan's invoices, which is why Fox News' Clayton Morris calls it an "honest mistake" to claim $10 in income when you made $1,000,000: Who can figure those "stinkin' tax forms" out anyway?

Noted wind victim Carrie "Miss Opposite Marriage" Prejean is suing three Miss California USA officials for firing her because of her religions beliefs, even though that is not actually why they fired her.

Two feuding families in Alabama sparked a riot of 150 people. Four people were injured.

Morbid and sad: the NY Post reports that the air traffic controller responsible during last weekend's helicopter-plane crash was on his cell discussing dead cats when the crash occurred. Meanwhile, broken down footage is showing the plane clipping the chopper.

Seemingly unfazed by the advertisers fleeing from his show over his inflammatory hate speech, Glenn Beck tonight played out a dumb skit where he imagined himself drinking with Nancy Pelosi, whose wine he spiked with poison.

"What do you mean by an individual requirement?" Michael Steele asked.

Last night Glenn Beck's guest was ex-CIA person Michael Scheuer, who stated that the only hope for the country was for Osama Bin Laden to "deploy and detonate a major weapon in the United States." Seriously.

Conservative columnist Kathleen Parker says that Mark Sanford's vanishing act is a "brilliant" political maneuver.

We thought we'd read nothing worse today than Kathryn Jean Lopez's op-ed on John Ensign's affair. But then we read her NRO colleague Andy McCarthy on how Obama is totally an Islamist Fundamentalist!

Michelle Obama has a green thumb. Matt Drudge has a rotten, black thumb, so he doesn't buy Obama's garden-harvesting photo-op, because she only planted it 89 days ago and what kind of garden grows that fast?

One of the things we've been waiting all day to see in the aftermath of the shooting today at the Holocaust Museum was how the conservatives would spin the incident. Now, thanks to Glenn Beck and Debbie Schlussel, we know.

New York's Finest: ticketed a van for a month before finding a corpse inside.

In unforeseeable news, a married millionaire heir to the Dupont fortune was repeatedly extorted for thousands of dollars by women he met on a site where old rich guys find hot young money-hungry girlfriends.

"Biden's verbal slips won't sink ships—nor will they trick us into a fraudulent war or compromise our values by launching a regime of torture." But, but—gaffes, Bob! Gaffes! [The Week, Photo: AP]