Fun fact #1 about lying memoirist James Frey's Facebook profile: he is a member of the group "I Love 'A Million Little Pieces' and James Frey Even if It's Not All True."

Is "J," the shirtless Aquarian photographer from Baltimore on MySpace, the same thing as Dr. Jay Parkinson, Williamsburg private doctor? Oh indeed it is. Do we still want him to palpate us in the basement of Northsix? Yes.

So I'll be in Maine all next week, leaving you in the extremely fun and competent company of Doree, Choire, Josh, Balk, and Balk's cock, which will be picking up even more of my slack than it usually does. I had Gawker pervtographer Nikola Tamindzic snap a special picture of me being all "eff you, I am wearing an American Apparel tank suit" on his roof last night because, let's face it, I have become some delusional cross between Alyssa Shelasky and Julia Allison, blogging about my feelings and disgracing feminism right and left. Yeah, that's it. Also that's why it's time for a full break. Also, as a bit of useful service journalism: After the jump, an object lesson in how not to ask for time off.