Everyone was tricked into reading about sports yesterday, after the inspirational story of one college football star suddenly became so riddled with holes, plot twists, and BIG REVEALS, it would not have felt out of place as a character arc on Gossip Girl: Season 2.

Every December, thousands of people convince themselves that, because they have been to a holiday party, they are capable of hosting a holiday party.

Yesterday, 58-year-old New Yorker Ki Suk Han was pushed onto the subway tracks and killed by an oncoming train. Thousands of people who happened to see the New York Post's Tuesday-morning cover were forced to confront Ki Suk Han's plight first-hand — all of us wondering, what should I do if that ever happens to me? There are a lot of schools of thought here, but the one that seems to make the most sense is: run away from the train.

While it's true that Hostess has been granted a temporary stay of execution by a bankruptcy judge in New York, it's still possible that mediation talks between the baked-goods manufacturer and the bakers union will fail and fans of cream-filled cakes will once again be forced to sell both kidneys so they can bid on $5,000 boxes of Twinkies on eBay.

Earlier this week, a 35-year-old man was arrested because he wasn't able to eat fake money very quickly. Technically, he was arrested for trying to buy French fries with a counterfeit $50 bill, then attempting to eat $1,200 in bogus fifties (twenty-four bills) before security officers detained him.

The New York Daily News seems to think so, because it took the time to put together a four-minute tutorial called "Teach Me How Too... Ride the Subway (Without Annoying Everyone)."

Any New Yorker will tell you that no trip to Manhattan is complete without becoming embroiled in one of the city's famed crutch fights.

Since its inception, the World Wide Web has provided humans with unlimited opportunity to exchange information on a expansive assortment of mutually beneficial topics with transformative results.

Courtesy of China comes a remarkable no-mess yolk separation technique that requires nothing more than an ordinary water bottle.

Don't be fooled by imitators: Tom Willett's "How to Eat a Watermelon" tutorial is the only watermelon eating tutorial to be certified "official" by Tom Willett himself!

Bowtie expert Bill Nye the Science Guy gives Nerdist Chris Hardwick a firsthand tutorial on tying his signature neckwear.

When asked point-blank by the Baptist Press during a recent interview if his company opposed same-sex marriage, Chick-fil-A President and COO Dan Cathy responded: "Guilty as charged."

Okay, so that's neither Gandalf nor a kangaroo, but "why not spend them letting a creepy bearded hobo show you how to stuff a wallaby into a shopping bag" just doesn't have a very inviting ring to it.

Malia Obama turns 14 this Wednesday, and Barack Obama has declared a United States federal holiday to celebrate the occasion.

Independence Day is almost upon us, and what better way to show America you love her than by learning how to properly grill a hot dog.

Jem "Da Hunk" Mark is something of a micro-celebrity in certain Pinoy circles. In his latest how-to video, the Dubai-based flight attendant and amateur dance instructor walks (or, rather, dances) you through the moves you're likely to encounter when you hit the club later tonight.

The folks at High Beam love making drinks that take time and trouble.

You say "where's the safety equipment," but I say "safety equipment? Pfft. Safety equipment is for men who don't open their beers with a chainsaw."

Richard Cohen is (for some reason) employed as a professional opinion columnist by the Washington Post. He is paid to write columns—featuring his own opinions—about the issues of the day. This is the entirety of his job. Yet Richard Cohen has a wondrous talent possessed by few in his rarefied sphere: he can write an entire opinion column with zero actual opinion.

Beats by Dre headphones are reportedly a popular target for thieves and muggers in New York City today. How can you avoid becoming a victim?