As Deadspin explained earlier this week, dressing up as NFL wife-puncher Ray Rice for Halloween is a bad idea. Worse idea? Dressing up as Ray Rice in blackface. Worst idea? Dressing up as Ray Rice in blackface and proudly posting it on the Internet.

Hey, guys—quick thing I wanted to talk about: Let's say you had sex on the subway, or masturbated, heh, or maybe you did it at home, or on the platform, and then brought the condom onto the train, carefully holding it upright so that its gloopy innards didn't spill onto your hands, and tied it to a handrail.

A Vancouver, Washington woman who enjoyed tweeting about area news, including traffic, under the handle @ScanCouver may have unintentionally live-tweeted a car accident that her husband was fatally injured in.

Glenn Beck is co-opting the Boston marathon bombing to hawk gold to his slackjawed fans. But hey, he's not the only fucktard palmetto bug trying to turn exposed femoral arteries into legal tender.

Authorities in Suffolk County arrested 21-year-old Brittany Ozarowski for grand larceny Wednesday, alleging she methodically raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for unnecessary "cancer treatments" and used the proceeds to buy heroin.

A horrific accident in Palm Harbor, Florida left a two-and-a-half year old girl a triple amputee. The girl's father was driving his riding lawn mower down his driveway when his daughter crossed in front of him, apparently slipping and falling. The girl's mother attempted to flag the father down and yelled for him to stop, but couldn't be heard over the engine. The father then accidentally ran the girl over, reportedly dragging her down the driveway and into the street before he noticed what he'd done.

Moments ago Louisville Sophomore Kevin Ware suffered a highly disturbing injury during a game against Duke in the NCAA tournament. The injury, an unusual one for basketball, happened when he was landing after contesting a shot. He shattered his shin, briefly exposing both bone and flesh.

Well here's a story that is bad from every angle; a multi-faceted diamond of misery.

On Friday night, a wasted lawyer locked herself out of her Manhattan apartment. Pretty standard stuff, right? I mean, who hasn't done that at some point? Well, what's not so standard about this particular case is the part where the lawyer hatched a convoluted drunken scheme to break-in to her own apartment via her building's garbage chute, a decision that nearly cost the woman her arm.

While her motive still remains unclear, new details have emerged about the life of alleged "killer nanny" Yoselyn Ortega, who is accused of stabbing two children, 2-year-old Leo and 6-year-old Lucia Krim, to death in a horrific crime on Manhattan's Upper West Side. According to a report in the New York Times, Ortega had become increasingly stressed and unstable in recent weeks.

Two children, ages 2 and 6, were stabbed to death in their Upper West Side apartment building yesterday, apparently by their nanny, 50-year-old Yoselyn Ortega. The children — a boy, Leo, and a girl, Lucia — were discovered in the bathtub by their mother, Marina Krim, when she returned home from taking her three-year-old to swimming practice. Krim found the nanny in the kitchen, lying next to a bloody knife, bleeding from what investigators believe was a self-inflicted slash to the throat. Krim's screams alerted neighbors to call the police.

Police and authorities from the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals for Monterey County found 113 dead kittens inside an apartment in Seaside, California. Another 57 sick cats were found in a house nearby, after officials received a tip that some cats were moved there prior to the inspection.

It's been a pretty crazy week to be skin. One man ate another man's skin off his face. The skin of a foot (and also the other parts of a foot that comprise an entire foot) was mailed to Canadian governmental headquarters. Rose Byrne's skin is dry, dry, so, so dry.

What is up with all the violence against bunnies lately? Between the death of Little Til, Herman Cain's dead rabbit ad, and the kidnapping of Miss Cooper, it's a bad time to be a bunny or bunny enthusiast.

Esquire's Chris Jones, who has won two National Magazine Awards but earned many, many more, has taken to the pages of his magazine's sex issue to ask an important question: Why don't women fuck me better?

A gunman on a motorcycle shot and killed three students and a teacher at a Jewish school in the Toulouse region of France. The man is thought to be responsible for two previous attacks on minorities that have occurred within the past 10 days.

An American soldier opened fire on civilians in Kandahar Sunday, killing 16 Afghans including 9 children and 3 women. While most reports say a single soldier is accountable for the massacre, some eyewitness accounts maintain it was a group of American soldiers "who were laughing and appeared drunk."

American emo kids who think they have it rough should take note of this story out of Iraq: at least 14 young people have been stoned to death over the past three weeks, apparently for wearing "emo" clothes and haircuts.

Partial remains of several victims of the September 11th terrorist attacks ended up in a landfill, it was revealed today.

More than 350 people are dead after fire consumed a crowded prison in Honduras late Tuesday night. The official word is that the blaze started when an inmate purposely set fire to his own mattress. Some 100 inmates died in their cells, as firefighters were unable to locate keys to free them.