holy-war

Man Who Helped Doom 'Love Guru' Finds Next Target: Jessica Alba's Tattoo

STV · 11/26/08 07:00PM

Last we heard from Rajan Zed, the "acclaimed Hindu statesman" was single-handedly derailing The Love Guru's chances for interfaith box-office success. Having spectacularly accomplished that mission, he has since moved on to an even more dire crisis of modern spirituality. To wit: Can Hinduism survive Jessica Alba's body art?It's a tough question, but the emboldened Zed wasn't backing down in a press release tossed over the Defamer transom:

Mike Myers: Portrait of the Artist as a Just Another Sulky, Needy Genius

STV · 06/16/08 02:00PM

While this summer's blockbuster stars may yet go down as the stroppiest on record, Mike Myers has pulled a bit of an midseason upset by usurping the season's sulky, moody, bridge-burning crown from long-time "passion" front-runner Edward Norton in the new issue of Entertainment Weekly. Not that the rap on Myers today isn't that much different than it's been in the last 17 years, but with The Love Guru drawing fire from all sides and Myers' spirituality-and-humor crossbreed having apparently all but hijacked his, well, humor, now seems as good a time as any to stir up the bad blood trailing him to the screen this weekend:

New Video Hints Mike Myers Less Than Two Weeks From Claiming America's Anti-Comedy Crown

STV · 06/10/08 01:00PM

Psst! Reader! Yes, you — really quick, do us a favor: Watch the accompanying video to this item and tell us if you saw what we just saw. Granted, we (and pretty much everybody, as far as we know) have yet to view The Love Guru, so perhaps the black hole of comprehension herein is purely contextual. Or maybe it really is as simple as Mike Myers giving back another few years' worth of cultural goodwill as the title character, joining Jessica Alba and a hookah-hitting Verne Troyer in a sitar-heavy, almost scandalously unfunny take on Steve Miller's stoner anthem, "The Joker." Moreover, help us with another thing: Combined with the compounded misfires at the MTV Movie Awards, is Myers slyly usurping the likes of Neil Hamburger as anti-comedy's most powerful talent? Because we could get behind this, if so — except for the Indian guy playing banjo. There is absolutely no excusing Indian banjo players. [Paramount]

It's Official: Mike Myers and Rest of 'Love Guru' Principals Doomed to 1,000 Years in Hell

STV · 05/21/08 05:30PM

We were sorry to read this week about the certain fiery purgatory awaiting slumping star Mike Myers, pregnant newlywed Jessica Alba and the rest of those associated with the production of The Love Guru, Myers' new "comedy" that drew such scorn last month from spiritual leaders around the country. We now learn that after a bit more finger-wagging and number-crunching, a dreadful trailer is the least the principals — and its viewers — have to worry about:

Old White People Know the Truth About Barack Obama

Pareene · 05/13/08 11:22AM

West Virginia just keeps outdoing itself! The state—which is separate from regular Virginia because they used to like black people—is expected to overwhelmingly support Hillary Clinton in tonight's primary. Because Senator Clinton has been quite effective in drumming up support among older, blue-collar voters, yes, but also because Barack Obama is a Muslim and a terrorist who will enslave the white race and probably suicide bomb the White House. In the clip above, a voter explains that she can't support a Muslim. The reporter half-assedly attempts to correct her. Our voter will have none of it. Doesn't anyone remember Barack Obama's crazy black Christian preacher? There's more!

Backlash Against Mike Myers' 'Love Guru' is Something Outraged Members of All Faiths Can Agree On

STV · 04/02/08 02:05PM

It wasn't bad enough that the almost willfully unfunny trailer for Mike Myers' comeback vehicle, The Love Guru (which you can watch after the jump), had Defamer HQ wailing with laments for the comic's lost Canadian soul. The metaphor has officially entered the literal realm this week, as nervous Hindu spiritual leader Rajan Zed — who coaxed a full viewing of the comedy out of Paramount — is on the PR offensive with his Christian and Jewish friends close behind: