That Lars von Trier certainly discombobulates people who watch his movies! For instance, there's Peter Debruge, chief international film critic of Variety, who just wrote his review of von Trier's four-hour Nymphomaniac, which includes the following passage:

Because every movie you don't care about has already been recycled at least once, Paramount has decided to begin rebooting the ones you actually do care about — starting with The Naked Gun.

Spoiler alert: 12 Years a Slave is a Hollywood movie.

Longtime New York Daily News gossip columnists Rush and Molloy have a new book coming out about their years in the gossip industry. It names names throughout—but at least one old scandal stayed a blind item.

The New York Daily News is reporting that reviled pop star Chris Brown suffered a seizure early this morning at a Hollywood recording studio. Brown allegedly suffered the seizure and then refused emergency responders' efforts to take him to a hospital.

Hollywood has a thing for hiring adults to play teens despite the fact that those adults could barely pass for someone their own age, much less someone half that.

In most of America, eating disorders disproportionately afflict young women, rather than young men. But in Los Angeles, almost as many boys as girls are vomiting and using laxatives to lose weight. What's to blame? Uh... Channing Tatum and Twitter?

When life imitates Chappelle's Show you know it's high time we all took a serious step back.

Reclusive Hollywood rage-blogger Nikki Finke may or may not have been fired from her perch as editor of Deadline Hollywood. Her nemesis Sharon Waxman, over at the Wrap, says Finke has been canned by Mail.com founder Jay Penske after he became fed up with her bullying ways. Finke and Penske have both denied the story in general terms, though neither has stated unequivocally that Finke will remain in her current job. This morning, in an effort to rebut Waxman's story, Finke offered a rare glimpse inside her peculiar brand of journalistic thuggery.

Last night at a fundraising gala for the LA Gay and Lesbian Center, co-chairman of Sony Pictures Entertainment, Amy Pascal appealed to her Hollywood industry colleagues about some specific word choices:

Today, in movie news, we learn that Johnny Depp will be playing the role of notorious Boston gangster Whitey Bulger in an upcoming film based on Bulger's life. This should not be confused with the other Whitey Bulger Boston gangster movie that Ben Affleck will be making after he makes a movie based on a Dennis Lehane novel that is also about Boston gangsters.

Last night, Jodie Foster, a famous actress who has been a famous actress for many decades, stood on stage at a glittery Hollywood awards show being broadcast around the world, and, in a lengthy, self-glorifying speech, in front of a crowd of the world's most famous people, asked for.... privacy. Is Jodie Foster clinically insane?

The best thing about the Hollywood Foreign Press Association is they'll nominate anyone just to get all the cool celebrities to come to their super-fun party, the Golden Globes. Plus, since it's not like a regular awards show, it's a cool awards show, they let you drink, as long as you do it in the house.

Actress Emma Stone and Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane — this year's host — got up nice and early to tell some really atrocious jokes and announce this year's Oscar nominations. If you were smart enough to avoid this stupid ceremony, here's what's totally surprising: neither Zero Dark Thirty's Kathryn Bigelow nor Argo's Ben Affleck received Best Director nominations, even though both directors were considered locks and both movies are nominated for Best Picture.

Jay Penske, the racing scion and media mogul who likes to employ Hollywood shut-in Nikki Finke when he's not busy (allegedly!) assaulting and urinating on strange women in public, has purchased Hollywood's oldest and most storied trade rag. Let the unceasing drama begin!

From crime to AIDS to the debt, America is facing a lot of problems. But there's a simple solution, according to this letter: cast this woman in a movie with Leonardo DiCaprio. Not only will "less [sic] children... be harmed by confused followers of Leonardo DiCaprio," but Los Angeles might get the Olympics again.

This is filmmaker Michael Cimino, who is in the midst of a revival of Heaven's Gate, which he directed 32 years ago. He is 73 years old. That photograph was taken yesterday at the Venice Film Festival. Here's a gallery of his face getting more and more horrible as time, and surgery after surgery, take their gruesome toll.

REPORTING FROM THE TAMPA CONVENTION CENTER LOBBY—Chaotic jostling is the order of the day here in south central Florida, where veteran Hollywood actor Jon Voight, known for his supporting role in the 1997 Ice Cube vehicle Anaconda, addressed the media in an extemporaneous manner just moments ago, while standing outside of Ballroom "C" in the moderately crowded Tampa Convention Center lobby.

Hollywood bully-blogger Nikki Finke has apparently escalated her bonkers feud with Bret Easton Ellis and his agency ICM to previously unheard-of levels of Nikki-tude: According to the Hollywood Reporter, ICM has hired attorneys to get Finke to stop "harassing" the agency's employees. Among the charges: "Finke told top ICM employees she would reveal their home addresses and where their children go to school."

Bret Easton Ellis, who drew rage-blogger Nikki Finke's wrath after I alerted her to a Twitter post he wrote outing her as a resident of his West Hollywood apartment building—which post in turn led me to find a unit in his building that had been recently purchased by Finke's employer, Penske Media—is continuing his hilarious pushback against the Hollywood fearmonger. Today, he told the Hollywood Reporter that her behavior is "harassing and unacceptable" and lambasted the "Hollywood morons who think they have to live in Nikki Finke's French Royal Court and be completely secretive." He also accused her, again on Twitter, of sending "hectoring, threatening, vaguely litigious e-mails" to her building's management.