· Celebrity nape-haver Matt Damon will play South African rugby star Francois Pienaar in Clint Eastwood's Human Factor. Accent time! [Variety]
· Chuck creator Josh Schwartz declares "computer geeks...the new doctors and cops of television," by which he means a clichéd profession conspired upon by lazy writers and unimaginative network executives to oversaturate the TV landscape. [Variety]
· SAG is churning out more and more waivers with indie producers, guaranteeing production won't be interrupted after June 30 should something go horribly wrong with the negotiations. It's a limbo agents are referring to as "Waiverland," named for the union spokesman who signs the interim agreements, Kenneth Waiverland. [Variety]
· Bruce Willis will star in Kane & Lynch, a lesser-beloved-videogame adaptation for Lionsgate. [THR]
· Brian DePalma goes to the serial-killer well once more with The Boston Stranglers, written by former Diff'rent Strokes and Head of the Class writer Alan Rosen. No word yet on whether or not they'll throw Dan "Arvid" Frischman a bone. [THR]

After a week-long lull in apocalyptic mutterings from all sides of SAG and AFTRA negotiations with the major studios, a couple of new stumbling blocks have appeared en route to a deal. For starters, AFTRA national president Roberta Reardon today sent out a sobering e-mail to her members, both acknowledging her discussions' ongoing news blackout while giving the rank-and-file plenty to leak to the press. To wit: Reardon writes that even AFTRA, which was expected to breeze to a new contract after SAG very publicly dug in its heels last month, is apparently having a hard time coming to terms with the majors on new media:

· Today, an Oprah you simply cannot afford to miss: Watch as she, Gayle, Kelly Ripa's husband, and some other lady try to reach a consensus over when, exactly, Mariah Carey knew she was going to marry Nick Cannon. We know! We told you! [Oprah]
· Speaking of Mariah—just when it seemed her week couldn't get any better...[BBC]
· Gary Dourdan was officially charged with possession of heroin, cocaine and ecstasy, today. All of which he claims belonged to someone else. [Reuters]
· This just in! Amy Winehouse is out on bail after her recent drug-related arrest. She tried to claim they weren't hers, too, but Scotland Yard said, "No, no, no." LOL! [Guardian]
· Alan Rosenberg: The SAG talks have broken down. The livelihoods of thousands of working actors falls in your hands. So tell us...WHAT WAS MILEY THINKING?! [ca.reuters.com]
· The View is the catfight incubator that just keeps on giving. [Us Magazine]

· This just in! A tensely worded rehashing of Variety's SAG strike doomsaying piece from Monday! Twelve days into things, progress looks "negligible." Need we remind the Powers That Be of that full-page trade ad taken out by George, Tom, Meryl and Bob back in February? For the love of God, Alan Rosenberg! Just. Talk. [Variety]
· The Young & the Restless and Sesame Street lead the Daytime Emmy nominations, though the two long-running series will only face off in one category: Outstanding Performance By An Actor or Math-Obsessed Vampire. [THR]

Last week ended with a jaw-dropping memo from the desks of Patric Verrone and Michael Winship, in which the WGA presidents stated their desire to see the "puny few" who elected financial core during the writers strike to be "held at arm's length" by the rest of the membership, adding, perhaps a tad indiscreetly, "and should the vats of boiling tar and freshly plucked chicken feathers sitting outside our office be of some use to you, so be it." Now, the 28 black-listees have found an unlikely ally in this ugly fracas, with arch WGA nemesis the AMPTP having filed a complaint today with the Natl. Labor Relations Board, in which they claim the letter violated federal law.

As Hollywood braces for the possibility of yet another work stoppage, this one by the actors' unions (as represented by their universally recognized symbol of a laughing hammer superimposed over a weeping sickle), the fallout from the last bitter labor war to hit our shores continues: In a "Letter from the Presidents" posted to the WGA's web site, Patric Verrone and Michael Winship point the end of a blood-soaked fountain pen at those members who chose to go "financial core," or fi-core as it's known in the hip-hop world, during the strike. (Recently employed by George Clooney in a tussle with the Guild over Leatherheads, it's as far as you can go towards cutting ties with the union while still being permitted to work on WGA projects.)

· HBO shakes things up in their original series development department, moving longtime president Carolyn Strauss into a new, not-quite-fired-but-let's- see-what-some-new-blood- can-do-about- never-letting- John From Cincinnati -happen-again position. [Variety]
· Hollywood StrikeWatch 2: The Bickering. SAG and AFTRA can't seem to decide whether basic cable should be included in the upcoming actors negotiation, leading to a flurry of strongly worded letters and "near-constant sniping" between the two unions, who'll ultimately air out their differences in a choreographed rumble in the Farmers Market parking lot, set to the music of Leonard Bernstein. [Variety]
· Marvel Studios has sold the exclusive broadcast rights to FX for a package of five of their movies, including the upcoming Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk, along with three more, yet-to-be-determined titles. (We're pulling for a She-Hulk Vs. She-Thing, starring Rachel Bilson and Mischa Barton.) [Variety]

· Hollywood Out of Ideas: Michael Bay Instigating Another Completely Unnecessary Horror-Classic Remake Edition. After the announced despoiling of A Nightmare on Elm Street by his Platinum Dunes "horror shingle," the director is in talks to produce a remake of Rosemary's Baby for Paramount. Look for Megan Fox to star as the totally babealicious swimsuit model knocked up by Shia LaSatan. [THR]
· An historic SAG/AFTRA Accord has been reached in order to present a united front in the upcoming negotiations for a feature-primetime contract. (Does that include primetime-features? We don't know, but we imagine it does!) It all went down in Peter Chenin's office, but fellow Mt. Mogulmore models Robert Iger and Les Moonves couldn't make it, for out-of-town and lunch-eating reasons, respectively. [Variety]

We must say, when we envisioned a scenario in which AMPTP president and chief negotiator Nick Counter took WGAw president Patric Verrone into his strong yet tender embrace on the balcony of the famed Warner Bros. water tower, and kissed his striketime adversary truly, madly, deeply on the lips to the exuberant cheers of thousands of working writers and execs below, it was pure fantasy.

· The five Best Picture nominees have earned $97 million since they were announced, more than twice what last year's nominees made in the same time period. Expect a two-page trade ad from the Academy touting that sum in 248-pt. font over the words "BIGGEST. OSCAR. BUMP. EVER." [Variety]
· Former Hobbit Dominic Monaghan has been cast in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. He won't be subjected to further brutal spirit-gumming sessions, however, as he doesn't play a mini-Wolverine, but "a mysterious character...who has the ability to manipulate energy and electricity." Aw, we wanted a Wolverinezuki! [Variety]

With news that 138 acres of land just west of the H in the Hollywood sign have been put up for sale yesterday by Chicago investors, the last impediment to Mt. Mogulmore—Les Moonves's masterplan of constructing an enduring companion monument to the nine-letter icon—is but a mere $22 million check away.

With the joyous news that the writers strike has unequivocally ended, an historic accord marked by Nick Counter and Patric Verrone appearing together on the balcony of the Warner Bros. water tower on Valentine's Day eve, as thousands below chant, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" until the reluctant peacemakers finally acquiesce to a deafening roar of approval, it would seem everything is right again in the magical realm of Hollywoodland. Which makes this rumor all the more disconcerting: Could the NBC Universal ruler, whose upward-failing rise to power was prophesied in lesser-known New Testament appendix The Book of Jeff, really be mulling a lawsuit with the HFPA against the WGA for robbing them of a Golden Globes ceremony? Deadline Hollywood Daily says it could be so:

The strike is over! Everyone's back to work! As expected, the WGA voted overwhelmingly to dance off the pickets lines and back to their sitcom writers rooms, deadline-rushed screenplays begging for punch-up, and blank Final Draft screens, with 92.5% of its membership agreeing to usher in a new, internet-enabled era of peace, love and shared prosperity that will last between four months and three years, when an ugly battle over a yet-discovered content-delivery platform (we're thinking gamma rays will be involved!) once again shakes the industry to its very foundation. Variety solicits the post-strike reflections of dangerously charismatic CBS despot Les Moonves, one of the moguls credited with hammering out the deal with the Guild:

· Network executives are trying to make sense of the brave, new, post-strike world they suddenly find themselves in, either taking this unprecedented opportunity to blow up their development system, or shrugging it off as a "blip" and going back to the old, comfortable ways of doing business (i.e., throwing a bunch of money at talent and pilots). Also, tough decisions need to be made about which series should be rushed back into production to finish up this abbreviated season, which should be put off until the fall, and which should be put out of their misery after losing their momentum. [Variety]
· Unsurprisingly, utterly fearless NBC perfect storm Ben Silverman (motto: "Let's do stuff!") is seizing the chance to shake things up inside the Peacock Family by shuffling around some executives and eliminating its largely vestigial current series department. [THR]

With word arriving over the weekend that Saturday night's WGA Scribeapalooza II: Let's Call the Whole Thing Off event at the Shrine Auditorium sent TV showrunners back to work today and will return everyone else to their jobs on Wednesday pending the outcome of a strike-ending vote to be counted tomorrow night, Hollywood can safely upgrade its feelings of Cautious Optimism to full-blown This Waking Three-Month Nightmare Is Finally Over Euphoria.

While most of you were either out tying one on or at home sleeping one off, WGA presidents Patric Verrone (West) and Michael Winship (East) were pounding Red Bulls and firing off a 3am email to their membership announcing that a tentative deal has been reached with the AMPTP. According to the email, the deal "protects a future in which the Internet becomes the primary means of both content creation and delivery." Huzzah! All of the deal points can be found in handy PDF format here; the email sent to guild members follows after the jump.

Shockingly, despite yesterday's dramatic proclamation by former Disney Head Mouse in Charge Michael Eisner that the writers strike is over, the WGA has yet to order the mass disposal of its picket signs and send everyone back to work, stubbornly insisting on taking some time to review the actual language in the proposed deal and present it to its members tomorrow night at its planned general meeting. (But if you're looking for a positive sign that everyone's Cautious Optimism could soon be rewarded, Saturday's latest Scribeapalooza will feature a performance by Hannah Montana instead of the slightly more militant Rage Against the Machine.) So when maybe/possibly/if the numbers look right could the strike potentially be called off? United Hollywood, the Guild's unofficial voice of the past three months, offers some (theoretical) timelines:

Defying both the media blackout and the current spirit of Cautious Optimism keeping the industry from throwing a premature Everybody's Going Back to Work! Parade on Hollywood Boulevard before a new WGA contract is signed, former Disney boss and current trading-card magnate Michael Eisner declared an end to the writers strike earlier this afternoon on CNBC's Fast Money:

[UPDATE after the jump.] In a potential development that flies in the face of the prevailing feelings of Cautious Optimism sweeping the town, Radar reports that Graydon Carter is canceling Hollywood's favorite post-awards-ceremony orgy, the Vanity Fair Oscar party. (Which, you no doubt recall, was relocated to the CAA cafeteria to better facilitate the agency's poaching of the winners.)

· Mattel joins fellow toy manufacturer Hasbro in leaping into CAA's embrace, turning over brands like American Girl, Hot Wheels and Fisher-Price to the agency for potentially lucrative Hollywood exploitation. First order of business: attaching artificially smooth client Nicole Kidman to a live-action Barbie project by convincing her that another round of full-body laser resurfacing should erase any concerns about being far too old for the part. [Variety]
· The show will go on! cries Academy president Sid Ganis, reassuring the nominees assembled at yesterday's Oscar luncheon that they'll get the recognition they deserve whether or not the strike is resolved by the end of February. "The Oscar exists to shine the brightest possible light on you and your work, and it would be such a terrible shame, through no fault of yours and no fault of ours, if the current conditions prevented us from shining that brightest possible light." [THR]