Maryland—a Union state and a slave state—is attempting to secede from the South.

A tipster sent us the proposal for One Nation Under Sex, Larry Flynt's forthcoming history of White House coitus. And it's not bad! Did you know that "George Washington was a famous swordsman in more ways than one"?

Pornographer-scholar Larry Flynt is writing a "sweeping account of how the sex lives of American presidents have had a tangible effect on American policy." Was Benjamin Harrison's timidity on civil service reform related to gonorrhea? Probably! We'll soon find out.

Last week's preliminary decision by the Texas Board of Education to rewrite US history to fit right-wing ideology has some academics all worked up, saying "it's not a partisan issue, it's a good history issue."

Alright! C-Span has "uploaded virtually every minute of its video archives to the Internet"—160,000 hours in all. There's gotta be a video of Walter Mondale with his head stuck in a paper bag in there somewhere. [NYT]

Someday you are going to find that your monster children have learned a completely different and fantastical version of American history than you did. Thanks to Texas!

Peter Clarke, former shipmate of ex-Rep Eric Massa, told the world about Massa's "snorkeling" expedition. He's been telling anyone who'd listen about Massa for years. All he wants in return? To warn future victims. And to be on Howard Stern.

The trailer to Seth Grahame-Smith's novel Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter may have used the Civil War as an allusion to vampire-hunting, but we can't help but think it still looks pretty great.

Real estate magnate and publisher Mort Zuckerman, the subject of a profile in today's Politico, is meeting with New York Republicans as he prepares himself for a Senate run. What do we know about Citizen Mort?

This "niche fiction meets stuffy history" trend is getting inscrutable. Seth Grahame-Smith, who introduced us to Mr. Darcy's appetite for human brains, returns with news that Abraham Lincoln juggled the Civil War with a war against pointy-toothed victims of anemia.

Multiple choice: Last night, jack-of-all-pop-culture Touré was... (a.) Twitter-hacked by his "cousin (PhD student/insane mf)" (b.) insensitive about delicate issues like rape, race, and sex (c.) a genius at stoking controversy (d.) all of the above.

Remember the 2008 presidential campaign? And do you remember the hundreds of journalists who were going to write books about that campaign? Many of those books are almost done. Don't worry: there are hundreds more still in the pipeline!

Ruben Diaz Sr, the worst New York State Senator who has not personally slashed his girlfriend's face with a broken glass (well, maybe besides Pedro Espada), has released a statement blaming Governor David Paterson's woes on gay people.

The "principled old conservative is disgusted with Republicans today" column practically writes itself. But this entry from former Congressman Mickey Edwards is frankly baffling. The problem Mickey has with modern conservatives is that they are... too European.

Walter Frederick Morrison, the inventor of the Frisbee, died this week at home in Utah. Morrison patented the world's first commercially produced plastic flying disc in 1948, and sold the concept to Wham-O in 1955. (He'd also been a prisoner of war in Stalag 13 during World War II, after his P-47 Thunderbolt was shot down.)

Did the Founding Fathers intend for America to be a Christian nation? No.

Yesterday, we introduced you to the farcical "Draft Larry Kudlow" campaign, a pretend movement to convince TV economist Larry Kudlow to run for Senate against Chuck Schumer. Today, for fun, we'll introduce you to Larry Kudlow the addict.

Barack Obama's first State of the Union was not a particularly soaring or pretty speech. But it was really the model every future president should look to when composing their own.

Howard Zinn, historian and author of A People's History of the United States, has died of a heart attack. He was 87.

Andrew Breitbart has a bad habit of championing unreliable nuts with destructive tendencies, just because they're conservative. Alleged criminal activity aside, James O'Keefe might turn out to be less embarrassing than some of Andrew's other great conservative hopes.