Tonight, in a live address streamed to supporters, Bernie Sanders announced that he was officially conce—hahaha, just kidding. Bernie Sanders will concede in hell.

As votes in the Washington, D.C., primary were tallied on Tuesday night—adding up to one last win for Hillary Clinton—the two Democratic candidates met at a hotel on Capitol Hill to make peace after a moderately acrimonious primary season. According to the New York Times, the chemistry between Clinton and Bernie Sanders was “strained.”

The good news: After 133 days, 21 hours and approximately 10,000 ill-advised thinkpieces, the Associated Press reports that primary season is finally over, my dudes.

On Sunday, the Jordanian state news agency Petra published a story in which Saudi Deputy Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman boasted about funding 20 percent of Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign. In a statement Monday, Petra said the now-deleted story was published as part of a “hack.”

According to USA Today, transcripts from a 2006 lawsuit against the big bouncing birthday boy Donald Trump, who turns 70 today—when did he get so big??—reveal that his company, the Trump Organization, regularly erased all emails from 1996 to 2001.

On Monday, in a 20 minute speech, delivered from a Cleveland stage devoid of campaign paraphernalia, Hillary Clinton reminded Americans that, fundamentally, the world is divided into people whose lives matter and people whose lives don’t matter, and that on some level the only real difference between any two politicians is the question of where they draw the line.

This week, the State Department disclosed that a record-keeping official in Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s office asked questions about the secretary’s email habits after seeing the viral “Texts from Hillary” meme photo in 2011, Politico reports.

On The Rachel Maddow Show Thursday night, Senator Elizabeth Warren endorsed presumptive Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and expressed her preparedness to serve as commander-in-chief if elected Vice President.

In response to Donald Trump’s racial attacks on Judge Gonzalo Curiel, GOP Senator Mark Kirk went so far as to un-endorse his party’s presumptive nominee this week, but another Senate Republican went even further on Thursday, suggesting she could vote for Hillary Clinton instead.

As expected, President Barack Obama (a superdelegate) has endorsed Hillary Clinton in her bid to become the first female president of the United States. “I don’t think there’s ever been someone so qualified to hold this office,” he said in a video announcement.

Hillary Clinton has finally commented on the FBI probe into her private email servers.

The Associated Press called the California and New Mexico Democratic primaries for Hillary Clinton early this morning, adding the states to the candidate’s slate of victories this week. The news follows Clinton’s win in New Jersey, and further secures her claim to the presidential nomination.

Barring an act of god or the FBI, Bernie Sanders is not going to win the Democratic nomination. He does, however, now have a window to make some demands in exchange for his support. What should he get?

Shortly before midnight, The White House announced that President Obama had personally spoken to both Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders Tuesday evening, commending the former for her presumptive nomination and the latter for “energizing millions of Americans.”

According to projections by the Associated Press, Hillary Clinton will win Tuesday’s Democratic primary in New Jersey, making her the presumptive Democratic nominee, which, according to the AP, she already was.

Last year, International Business Times reporter David Sirota filed a Freedom of Information Act request for emails between former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and the United States Trade Representative, a federal agency concerned with negotiating international trade policy, in which the two offices discussed the Trans-Pacific Partnership, a widely-criticized pact among the United States and eleven other countries, including Australia, Canada, and Mexico. Last week, the State Department notified Sirota about the progress of his request: The agency would not provide the emails until the end of November—three weeks after the 2016 presidential election.

Apropos of nothing, the Associated Press called the Democratic primary race for Hillary Clinton on Monday night, declaring her “the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee on the eve of Tuesday’s voting.” The news agency cited a survey of super-delegates, who do not actually vote until the convention.