Hillary Clinton can now officially claim victory in Iowa, beating Bernie Sanders by a razor-thin margin of 0.2 percent according to Breaking News.

Under Iowa’s arcane Democratic caucusing rules, ties can be broken by the toss of a coin, leaving the designation of some delegates up to physics. On Tuesday, Hillary Clinton won at least three delegates by coin toss. Which delegates? Delegates to what? Where? No one knows!

Who says you can’t have fun in Iowa?

Tonight, voters in Iowa, the birthplace of democracy, are participating in something called a “caucus,” which, according to the New York Times on Snapchat, has something to do with popcorn. We will be updating this post with Democratic results and bad tweets as they come.

When New York Mayor Bill de Blasio approached his old boss Hillary Clinton about campaigning on her behalf in Iowa, her campaign said no thanks, that won’t be necessary, he told the Times. Rather than accept that snub gracefully, de Blasio went to Iowa anyway and performed what amounted to entry-level volunteer work. Take a hint, my man.

Today, American voters can finally head to the polls to exercise their hallowed democratic right: the right to actively participate in destroying their own dreams of a better country.

The Iowa caucuses are tonight. What’s going to happen? On the Republican side, either Donald Trump will win, or Ted Cruz will win. According to a poll conducted by Ann Selzer, unanimously considered the best pollster in Iowa, Trump will win. That’s a good reason to feel confident in a Trump victory.

In the past politics has been called a game of chess, a dirty game, a blood sport. This year, we’ve decided to throw it all out the window; right now, presidential politics in the U.S. look a whole lot more like a giant, boring math equation.

On Saturday, The New York Times’ editorial board endorsed Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton for her party’s nomination, calling her “one of the most broadly and deeply qualified presidential candidates in modern history.” The board wrote:

Remember how Hillary Clinton used a private homebrew email server to conduct official State Department business? Today—only hours before the agency is expected to release the next batch of Clinton’s emails, and just days before the Iowa caucuses—the sitting administration disclosed that 22 of those emails are now considered top secret, and thus exempt from release:

At last night’s uneventful Iowa “town hall” discussion on CNN, Hillary Clinton was asked which president she most admires. Her answer: Abraham Lincoln. Her reason: a terrible muddled mess of Dixie revisionism that puts Reconstruction in the same dark bin as Jim Crow.

Responding to earlier reports that filmmakers had cut footage, damaging to the Clinton campaign, from a new documentary about Anthony Weiner, co-director Elyse Steinberg said, “There was no footage that was taken out.” That, presumably, is an overstatement, as the filmmakers were working with 400 hours of raw footage.

Presidential candidate and professional evader Hillary Clinton has truly perfected the smile-and-turn, a political maneuver often used, but seldom captured on tape. Finally, here we have it: rare footage of Clinton in her natural habitat.

Actress, memoirist, and newsletter publisher Lena Dunham is one of Hillary Clinton’s most prominent campaign surrogates. Their relationship has worked out well so far: Clinton benefits from the attention of Dunham’s Millennial fans, while Dunham, who made her name in comedy, gets to align herself (and her brand) with the one of the world’s most powerful politicians. According to Amy Chozick of The New York Times, however, Dunham initially expressed some misgivings about her future alignment with the Clinton clan, apparently before she began showing up at Hillary Clinton’s campaign rallies:

This morning’s New York Times had two front-page stories about politics that were really one story. One was about the fact that Republicans who identify as evangelical Christians are rallying behind the aggressively impious figure of Donald Trump. The other was about how Hillary Clinton’s campaign is desperately trying to get ready for a prolonged state-by-state nominating contest against Bernie Sanders.

In New York magazine this week, Jonathan Chait attempts to make “The Case Against Bernie Sanders.” Allow us to un-make it.

On CNN yesterday, Hillary Clinton told Jake Tapper that she was “too busy campaigning” to see 13 hours, the new (poorly performing) flick about the attack on Benghazi in 2012. Which—while valid—was probably a poor choice of words, considering it sets conspiracy theorists up perfectly to say things like this:

Toward the end of this evening’s uneventful Democratic debate, Hillary Clinton made a very interesting aside about the ongoing struggle between spies, cops, and the contents of your smartphone.

The Communist Party of the U.S.A. is holding a debate tonight, pitting new nemeses Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders against one another as handsome man Martin O’Malley just sort of stands there and watches. We’re “liveblogging” the whole painful thing with our friends at Jezebel right here so you don’t have to watch.