PHILADELPHIA — Making a late-night appearance at a post-DNC party early this morning, a vivacious and enthusiastic Governor Terry McAuliffe asserted to Gawker not only that Hillary Clinton is not at risk of changing her position on TPP, but that she had “never supported it and never would.”
On Thursday, Hillary Clinton formally accepted the Democratic party’s nomination for president, making her the first woman ever to be nominated. Here’s the full text of her historic speech:
On Thursday night, Hillary Clinton took the stage at the Democratic National Convention to become the first woman ever to be nominated for president by a major party. Standing before a crowd of thousands of supporters, Clinton accepted, saying, “When there are no ceilings, the sky’s the limit.”
PHILADELPHIA — Tonight in front of thousands of people, Hillary Clinton came out [BEAMING? TK]. And as she made her way to the podium, on what is perhaps the biggest night of her career thus far, Hillary Clinton [TYPE OF FALL TK] right on the DNC stage.
This is an incredible night to be absolutely anyone other than Donald Trump. Let the owns continue.
Are you sitting down? You should sit down. There is some earth-shattering commentary about current events you must read from Jeffrey Wells, a film critic.
Man, it’s a hot one.
In Philadelphia on Thursday, poverty activist Cheri Honkala plans to host “the world’s largest ‘fart-in,’” during Hillary Clinton’s nomination acceptance speech, as a silent but deadly rebuke to the Democratic nominee. Given the handwringing from Clinton supporters and surrogates about Sanders supporters booing and jeering the Democratic elite (including their own candidate), one can only imagine the outrage that will greet such a bodily demonstration on Thursday. The presumptive nominee, this thinking goes, is supposed to accept her nomination without disruption or distraction—despite the fact that having such a vocal, activist wing of the party is, in fact, a very good thing!
In a notably unhinged press conference Wednesday, Donald Trump explicitly requested Russia hack more email accounts belonging to a former Secretary of State, just minutes after denying that Russia was involved in the hack at all.
Bill Clinton is scheduled to speak at the Democratic National Convention Tuesday night, although “scheduled” might be a bit misleading, given that the former President has never met a time limit he couldn’t double.
PHILADELPHIA — As the prophets foretold, a generation born under the first Clinton presidency would grow to know many misfortunes: A recession, lots of Dick Cheney airtime during its formative years, and “Gilmore Girls.” This generation, the fates dictated, would rise up in pained chorus against that misfortune to be super whiny about the idea of a second Clinton presidency. When it finally came time for a woman in office, those prophets sang from the heavens that, the women of this Cursed Generation would claim they “do not even see gender.”
Lots of smart people are anxiously sharing links to Nate Silver’s 2016 Election Forecast on their social media profiles, largely because, one assumes, they are beginning to realize the implications of the fact that there is an actual presidential election happening and Donald Trump is an actual presidential candidate.
PHILADELPHIA—It was hot yesterday, and across the street from the Wells Fargo Center, where hundreds of Bernie Sanders supporters had congregated to protest the Democratic National Convention happening inside, one could hear occasional horns and chanted slogans: “Bernie beats Trump,” “Bigots go home,” “Hell no, DNC/We won’t vote for Hillary.” One demonstrator’s sign depicted “Hillary Klingon, the neocon war candidate,” complete with photoshopped forehead ridges, and another had the phrase “BETRAYED US” scrawled under Sanders’s name, in reference to a speech he’d given in support of Clinton earlier in the day. We were not, in other words, in Clintonland.
“And the sign says, you gotta have a membership card to get inside. Uh!” -Tesla
PHILADELPHIA — Welcome to the first night of the Democratic National Convention, where we’ll be coming to you live from the disgusting, 200-degree little plot of land in hell that is Philly. Tonight we’re in for a special treat: Bernie Sanders will be taking the stage. And if god cares about the media at all, Bernie Sanders is going to give us a coup.
