The New School kids just won't stop getting arrested. At 10 p.m. last night, 200 protesters gathered in Union Square and tried to march en masse to New School president Bob Kerrey's house.

Recent student takeovers at the New School and NYU were allowed to drag on for days with negotiations and demands; but today's New School takeover has already been crushed by cops! And there's no amnesty:

Alert: student activists have taken over one of the New School's buildings, near Union Square. Again! They just did this shit a few months ago, winning nothing except ridicule. This time they might do better!

Nobody could blame Oprah for one sex scandal at that save-the-youth school she opened in South Africa, but now that there's another sex scandal there, we must ask, "Does Oprah love sex, and scandals???"

College hires 50 laid-off journalists to "teach 'news literacy' to non-journalism majors." Good!

Ha, the University of Chicago's newspaper dug up a 1982 column by NYT bobo David Brooks. It's about his nightmares. He had an intense fear of gargoyles, zombies, and totally weird wallpaper:

In your optimistic Wednesday media column: Alt-weeklies stabbed by the internet, a Rolling Stone buys a website, college reporters fight The Man and win, and a job available!

The final, farcical moments of the failed Revolutionary NYU Food Court Occupation were caught on film by one of the protesters. And then shown to the world, despite being—by any standard—incredibly embarrassing.

Not to alarm you sheep out there as you go about your bourgeois activities this morning, but you should be aware that that the NYU student center food court has been occupied by revolutionaries!!

The mediacentric Greenwich Village private high school backed by Graydon Carter and John Leguizamo—well, but it's having some problems. Have heartless celebrities given up on educating downtown's most elite teenagers? Someone save the youth!

Who took that photo of dolphin-boy Michael Phelps hitting a bong? Who cares? It's no worse than that photo of you in college, licking liquid acid off a naked mule. But the media is investigating!

You know one thing that schools should really be teaching our kids these days, for the good of the world? How to get "Internet famous." If only...oh hey, there is a class for that already!

Hey, remember that college journalist who got in trouble last year for his bold, two-word editorial, "Fuck Bush?" Well that kid just got an honest-to-god scoop about a heinously corrupt (college) cop. Cussing indicates greatness!

The Siege of the New School, in which students occupied buildings, fought off cops, and terrified school president Bob Kerrey, has ended. Revolution wins! Exclusive first hand journalism—and wanton violence—below:

Terrified and unpopular New School president Bob Kerrey has canceled his scheduled meeting with student reps tonight, citing "security" reasons. Pussy! Meanwhile the student revolutionaries may clash again with police stormtroopers!

Breaking: The student revolutionaries currently occupying the New School's Faculty building have triumphed over the Fascist security guards, winning a meaningless victory! And they have issued a "Communique" from inside the occupied territory:

Throughout the morning we've been receiving URGENT REPORTS of DIRECT ACTION by STUDENT ACTIVISTS at fancy NYC college New School. They've taken over a building! POLICE CLASHES and EXCESSIVE FORCE! Join the struggle:

We've written about it before, but have not had the nerve to actually sign up and take the New York Reality TV School's $139 three hour seminar. But here, at least, is video footage of the prestigious institution that prepares our best and brightest minds for the brain mushing world of reality television. Watch as the Today show reporter dances and runs the "gauntlet" of insults and does some pithy ad libbing about Bret Michaels. She's a natural. But, I guess, she is already on TV.

Hey there, proud parents of exceptional teens, you can end your search for a learning experience that does justice to your child's special gifts RIGHT NOW because the new US News & World Report is up on the internet and they've found the place: Harvard University! And just how did the trusty trustees of Cambridge manage to nab the top spot away from Her RoyalHighness Academy Princeton* — on that shoestring endowment of theirs? The answer will enliven your loamy loins!By reducing average class size! Now a full 3/4 of Harvard undergraduate classes have fewer than 20 students. And you know what that means: more classes taught in intimate settings by younger instructors no doubt hungrier for brain sex. (I have anecdotal evidence of this, even. Earlier this year I met a young aspiring journalist from Harvard named Lena Chen, and she was traveling [to Julia Allison's house, in fact!] with an ex-teaching assistant in tow. I am pretty sure they were having traditional non-brain sex!) Now that you know that here is some information: it is the 25th anniversary of the journalism world's most pointlessly controversial listicle and still I am pretty sure Gawker has done the only actually funny (and crowdsourced) alternative ranking. Internet people, please put rub your A+ school for B student educated brains together and think us up a new concept. Unsafest Safety Schools? Fairly ridiculous names? *Ahem, Princeton would like you to know they still hold the top spot in several categories of the Princeton Review and also are beloved by Black Enterprise magazine despite that angry thesis penned by that alumni association Judas Michelle Obama. Vote For America's Most Annoying Liberal Arts College College & University Rankings Library Eating And Shopping In Cambridge [WWD] Campus Squirrel Listings

Are you a "real person/entertainer" who likes reality TV? Would you like to actuallybe on one of those terrific programs like The Bachelor and/or Farmer Wants a Wife? Then you should head down to the New York Reality TV School, a prestigious institution run by an actor that teaches you all the skills of the dubious trade. Slate went and checked it out and reports back with whimsical tales of students with names like Queen Esther and people who have booze-related brain damage. So it's a horror show, to be sure, but also sort of refreshing!