In these trying times, a little retail therapy can do wonders when you’re stressed out of your mind and/or uncertain about your future. (By “retail therapy” I mean: Entering a store, walking around a bit, then leaving without buying anything.) So where do you go when you need your kick? My go-to options are:

Chris Christie, a glutton for punishment, among other things, has come to Melania Trump’s defense by helpfully pointing out that something like “93 percent” of her speech wasn’t plagiarized.

Donald Trump this week hired a new national political director and forgot to tell his campaign, so things are going great over there—thanks for asking.

Carly Fiorina said several things during her speech today accepting Ted Cruz’s offer to be his vice president, but the striking part was what she left unsaid. She sang a song.

Help, I’m lost inside an alternate reality crafted for me by the Ted Cruz campaign and I cannot escape.

At a campaign rally in Manassas, Virginia, yesterday, Donald Trump hoisted a young boy into the air so that he could ask a darling little question: “What will the wall be made out of?”

Early on Monday, the Associated Press reports, a bear in rural Maryland got his head stuck in a metal milk can.

One potato, two potato, three potato, none potato: This is the conundrum in which Kristin Cavallari recently found herself embroiled. “Ladies,” cried Kristin to her sisters—the mothers, the she-wolves, the ducks, and the sows—“I need your help!”

People think that they are small and that the world is big, but sometimes the world shrinks unexpectedly and you find yourself to be a lot bigger than you had thought, and maybe you get stuck in a chimney or a revolving door or a relationship.

"How does it feel?" the singer D'Angelo once famously asked. Feelings are elusive things. Yesterday, for instance, in linking to the news that an action figure of the Sexy Convict meme-person exists, New York magazine embedded a subheadline asking "How to feel about this?"

Absolutely no one is watching CNN anymore. The network has just posted figures for the second quarter of this year and, hoo-boy, they are terrible. A 40 percent drop in prime-time ratings since last year. The worst performance ever for a second quarter. Even CNN's mom has stopped watching it though she lies and says she still tunes in, like that kind of coddling is going to help anyone. If things continue on this path, our children will have no knowledge of the Cable News Network as we know it. To them, CNN will refer only to Ciennen, a popular girl from their kindergarten class.

Once in a while it's important to do some public good on this site (tax reasons, mostly), so here we go: Please help this woman and her children meet the kids' favorite band, Bon Jovi. Here's the story.

Supermodel Naomi Campbell and actresses Mia Farrow and Carol White can be subpoenaed in the trial of former Liberian president Charles Taylor, The Hague ruled today. We hope that whoever has to serve Naomi papers wears adequate protection.

Yesterday, we asked you, the economically astute people slacking off at work, how Britain could save some money, lest it be mired in pauperdom for "generations." We've culled hundreds of comments into five ideas that could work. Pay attention, Brits.

According to the Times, a new CDC study says between 1.8 million and 5.7 million people were infected with swine flu this past spring. Quick: We must travel back in time and warn the past that they weren't panicking enough.

We need a quick photoshop mockup of a fantasy New York Post. Email me for specs.

Format your comments with the wonders of html tags — just remember to close them. Available tags for use on Gawker comments are italics and bold. You can add a picture to the text of your comment using the <img src="url"> tag. You can also include a regular YouTube link anywhere in the body of a comment to embed a clip and generate a special "Watch Video" thumbnail.

Even with the demise of print journalism and the so-called end of journalist watering holes, writers still drink quite a bit. Gridskipper has done pieces on blogger bars, and we've made references the New York Observer's predilection for Old Town Bar before, but I'm going for a full list of drinking places, so you, the media adoring public, can do a little casual stalking. A cursory Google search leads me to believe this hasn't been done before, but I could be wrong. Feel free to object to my ignorance in the comments. But after that, let me know where your staff drinks. The office is not an acceptable answer. Every writer drinks in the office.

Calling all loyal Defamer commenters! We'd like to introduce you to a new feature that's sure to make your commenting experience all the more enjoyable. Let me explain. If you include a Youtube link in a comment that you post, said clip will automatically be included with your text. Voila, just like that (snaps fingers). No need to place in the embed code, the URL will do the trick. The feature is still in beta, so your feedback is appreciated. In the comments, obvs. Remember, knowing is half the battle...

If you include a Youtube link in a comment, the clip will automatically be included with your text. (The feature is still in beta, so your feedback is appreciated. In the comments, of course.)