headlines

"Ctrl, Alt, Deleter Kills Net Shrink With Cleaver"

Hamilton Nolan · 02/14/08 11:12AM

Day two of the UES internet-specializing psychotherapist hack attack story dawns with new surveillance video and the Post headlines "BUTCHER OF 79TH ST." and "CHILLING IMAGES AS MAD HACKER SLIPS IN FOR DEATH RAMPAGE." Our reader-submitted ones were better (headline above by commenter Gayyker). But the video of the psycho killer coming into the doctor's building with a big bag full of murder implements is pretty chilling. Watch it below.

Write Tomorrow's Headline: Doctor's UES Hack Attack

Hamilton Nolan · 02/13/08 11:59AM

Dr. Kathryn Faughey, a psychotherapist, was slashed, stabbed, and hacked to death by "a psycho" wielding a meat cleaver and another knife in her UES office last night. Both knives were bent by the force of the attack. Another doc who came running to her aid was also slashed, but survived. The psycho escaped through the basement and is still free in the city. One possibly significant clue that we just dug up: Dr. Faughey said on her website that "Managing relationship problems with the internet is also a major focus" of her practice. Hmmmm. Like a stumped police chief laying a case down in front of Encyclopedia Brown, we ask you: What's the headline tomorrow in the Post?

An Extensive History Of Terrible CNN.com Headlines

Pareene · 01/31/08 02:49PM

Slate's Jack Shafer notices a disturbing trend that has more or less saved the ass of every single Gawker editor ever on slow news days: wacky headlines at CNN.com. The tabloidization of CNN.com has Shafer, well, mildly concerned. All the stories are about babies being mauled by tigers and sex offenders setting kindergarteners on fire! "Nuns-and-nude ad upsets Catholics!" Ladies in peril! "CNN.com's, MSNBC.com's, and Foxnews.com's celebration of and reliance on stories like today's "Human Tongue Accidentally Served Up in Hospital," which are explicitly designed to momentarily rouse and titillate the Web audience, says worlds about how the site thinks of us. Life is a freak show, the Web sites instruct, and we viewers just another bunch of freaks." So true, Jack. Life is a freakshow, and CNN just wants to hand you a free ticket. To illustrate: after the jump, Gawker's vast and rich archive of embarrassing CNN.com screengrabs, available in one place for the very first time. Watch it now!Click to view

Call Matt Drudge, The Sky Is Falling In NYC

Maggie · 01/11/08 02:21PM

Is anyone else disturbed by the fact that it's thundering and lightning in New York City in the middle of January? Since Matt Drudge's weather link real estate is currently devoted to something about snow falling in Baghdad for the first time in a century, we thought we'd volunteer some headlines to blow this climatological phenomenon wildly out of perspective:

HELLO MY BABY, HELLO MY HONEY, HELLO MY WIFE'S 'LOVE GAL'

Pareene · 11/27/07 10:40AM

Today's best Post headline: MAN SLAIN BY WIFE'S 'LOVE GAL.' Sure, it's a fairly traditional "married woman slashes throat of her alleged lesbian lover's husband" story, but it's a top-notch use of inexplicable scare quotes and an incomprehensible descriptive phrase for the relationship between victim and killer. Good work, guys. [NYP]

They Killed Cancer Boy's Pony

Pareene · 10/25/07 02:50PM

The Make-A-Wish Foundation gave a little cancer-stricken child a 31-inch tall horse, a couple stray pit bulls killed it two days later, and then some CNN web editor wrote the best headline ever. The foundation will not be giving cancer boy a second tiny horse. :(

Hill's Money Chinese, Drudge Play Joke

Pareene · 10/19/07 10:40AM

Uhh... "chop suey club?" What does that even mean? We know Hillary is a pawn of the Red Chinese Menace (or, in this case, the Chinatown Mob) but seriously, is this Drudge headline supposed to be like an oblique Amy Tan joke or something? Was "A Coolie $400 Grand" a little too extreme? Also: Drudge bonus points for "NOONAN: Hillary 'is the smile on the Halloween pumpkin that knows harvest is coming'... because an utterly insane, randomly-selected quote from any given Peggy Noonan column is basically the best idea for a regular post we've never thought of.

Doree Shafrir · 08/30/07 11:00AM

Oh TMZ, you naughty rascals!

Grading The Headlines: When FEMA Fouls

Choire · 07/20/07 10:30AM

It's a big story: In hearings down in D.C., a paper trail proves that FEMA's lawyers actively discouraged an investigation into high amounts of formaldehyde in the trailers provided to Katrina and Rita hurricane victims. Yoinks! But the headlines in the papers today—each composed by a different harried copy desker or late-working editor—all tell a different story. Here's 10 of them, ranked from good to decent and ending in at least two that are utterly laughable—maybe even despicable!

Rewriting the 'News'

abalk2 · 11/01/06 10:10AM

Something seemed a little off on the headline in this morning's News piece about Congressman John Sweeney, who last December "got into an early-morning fracas with his wife that...[resulted in] her being grabbed by the neck and pushed around the house," but did not result in charges being filed. We offer a slightly modified version that we feel more accurately conveys the story.

Separated at Evil Birth?

Jessica · 08/17/06 10:11AM


Yesterday authorities arrested John M. Karr in connection to the 1996 murder of 6-year-old JonBenet Ramsey. Karr has confessed that he was with the girl when she died, explaining that he was sent from the future to kill JonBenet before she grew up to become the leader of the beauty pageant resistance.