It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is returning to television on October 11th with an all new cast consisting of dead-people-seer Haley Joel Osment, Bob-Saget-survivor Candace Cameron, UFC-somebody Chael Sonnen, meme king Xzibit, and mysogynist racist homophobe Andrew Dice Clay.
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban crossing the street in Midtown ... Orlando Bloom checking out motorcycles at the Ducati dealership on Sixth Avenue ... Haley Joel Osment riding the subway ... Rachel McAdams running on the set of Morning Glory in Midtown ... Pierce Brosnan talking on his cell phone during lunch ... Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber arriving at JFK with sons, Alexander and Samuel, and Liev’s mom ... Mark McGrath eating lunch with girlfriend Carin Kingsland at Delicatessen on Prince Street ... Jessica Szohr shooting scenes for Gossip Girl in Soho ... Heidi Klum leaving her hotel with a big cup of coffee ... Hugh Jackman eating lunch at Da Silvano with his wife and kids ... Emilie de Ravin walking on the set of Remember Me in Cobble Hill ... and Tim Robbins pushing his bike downtown.
Harry Potter and Gossip Girl finally meet in the middle, Jon Gosselin wants to capitalize on the worst fashion trend in the History of the Universe, Robert Pattinson's good in bed, Jim Carry's a scary grandparent, and celebrity DUI time!
Sad news: on a day that has already seen the ignominious shitcanning of Hollywood's best "cyborg dinosaurs rescue kidnapped children" franchise, word has emerged that screenwriter Eric Roth has quietly buried his unnecessary script for Forrest Gump 2 out by the old oak tree. While promoting The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Roth told Slashfilm that the sequel just didn't seem the same after 9/11 happened (what, those scenes of a digital Tom Hanks outrunning smoke and debris in Manhattan felt too soon?). The news reminded us that several years ago, we attended a talk where Roth revealed the Gump sequel's surprise twist, which he told us not to tell. Guess it doesn't matter now! Here's your before-the-jump SPOILER ALERT...
Since 2003, former child star Haley Joel Osment has done most of his acting off-camera, occasionally content to add the occasional videogame voice-over or alcohol-addled car accident to his resume. Recently, though, Osment has reappeared in the public eye, preparing for his Broadway (and cuss word) debut with a vigor that would put even Dakota Fanning 2.0 to shame. Now, Osment shares with MTV the next phase of his career comeback, and it involves the Hitler Youth:
As Esquire once famously teased, "Kevin Spacey Has a Secret," and now, finally, that secret has come to light: he's a good samaritan! Already notorious for a well-intentioned, late-night dog walking that turned ugly in the most homoerotic way, the actor was snapped this weekend in Croatia enacting a "pay it forward" so unorthodox that it would make even a newly R-rated Haley Joel Osment blush. Says The Sun:
The A-list movie-star incursion on Broadway this fall just got a little B-listier with the addition of Haley Joel Osment to the cast of American Buffalo, David Mamet's 1976 play set for revival in November. And we can't wait: For sheer envelope-pushing, neither Daniel Radcliffe's full-frontal horseplay nor Katie Holmes's Dawson-ization of Arthur Miller is likely to compare to their fellow ex-child star's profane verbal tussles with castmates Cedric the Entertainer and John Leguizamo — a duo whose characters entangle Osment's young, broke schemer Bob in a bluer-than-blue cascade of "cunts," "fucks" and other Sixth Sense-era unutterables. And all it'll cost Osment, 20, is the low, low price of a semester behind at NYU:
· Retiring, media-shy actor James Woods on the current state of Hollywood cinema: "I look at movies and they're all so f@&^ing terrible. People ask, 'Why aren't movies more successful?' It's really a simple answer: It's because they stink. Three simple words: Because they f@&^ing stink. That's four words, but you can't write the f@&^ing word. They stink, they stink, they stink, what's wrong with you? They stink. Do better movies. ... Finally, I saw a good movie - 'The Departed." And look what it took: It took Marty Scorsese, Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jack Nicholson, (screenwriter) Bill Monahan - and it's based on another movie."
· Haley Joel Osment today pleaded no contest to drunk driving and drug possession charges stemming from the involuntary carslaughter of his 1995 Saturn, thus completing his long journey from adorably creepy "I see dead people" kid to former child actor clich .
Arrested Development fans with too much disposable income still have another four days to bid on GOB's segway. Bid now, and bid high—this irreplaceable piece of AD history will get you crazy, crazy laid.
America's Next Top Porn Model's director on Tyra Banks' hypocritical judgment of how adult-film doppleganger Tyra Banxxx makes her living: "I find it funny that a beautiful girl like Tyra Banks who made her career by walking the runways showing off her tits and ass would criticize a girl for making her living showing off her tits and ass. I really don't see the two career choices being polar opposites."
Necktastic Project Runway winner Jeffrey Sebelia becomes possibly the first reality show contestant in the history of the form not to blame seeming like a dick on malicious editing.
· Those NBC layoffs really could have been a lot worse.
· It was certainly a busy day of celebrity jailhouse photography for The Smoking Gun, who followed up handsy MTV uncle Don Vito with Haley Joel Osment's new headshot. Perhaps most notable is Osment's stated height and weight, which spotlight the growth-stunting consequences of alcohol and marijuana use for a former child actor.
Great art is so much less interesting when the artist forces an interpretation on you.
Adrien Grenier stands accused of wearing a brown shirt to the Emmys.
We're starting to lose track of many publicist-planted gossip items we've recently read mentioning how Lindsay Lohan is "cleaning up her act," so that's probably a signal that Lindsay Sloane Zelnick hasn't left her office since the Morgan Creek Letter Incident.
Seriously, not even one bid on the Defamer toast? We're heartsick.
After a nearly month-long cliffhanger following former child actor/current former child actor cliché Haley Joel Osment's possibly alcohol-assisted destruction of a perfectly good 1995 Saturn, TMZ.com reports that Osment has been charged with four criminal counts of DUI and pot possession, including the the very technical-sounding "enhancement of driving with a .15 or higher," as well as a less jargon-heavy, "Well lookee here, did Mr. "I See Dead People" think we weren't gonna find that big old joint in the glove compartment?" accusation. With this impressive array of charges, Osment sets the bar intimidatingly high for fellow preternaturally polished child performer Dakota Fanning's inevitable flame-out, which will need to include the crashing of a monster truck full of heroin into her agency's lobby while wearing a tattered, ill-fitting Girl Scout uniform to equal her predecessor's feat.
We were ready to assume that awkwardly maturing former child actor Haley Joel Osment's car crash had little in common with yesterday's accident involving a perpetually troubled lesser Baldwin, as we were momentarily paralyzed by the unpleasant image of the coal-eyed teen trapped in his overturned vehicle (which, incidentally, each report we've read positively identified as a 1995 Saturn, as if to suggest Osment's slowing career is responsible for his modest choice in conveyance) after jumping a curb and striking a brick mailbox pillar.
If you've secretly feared that Haley Joel Osment was living out the rest of his days chained to a Ferris wheel at Michael Jackson's new Neverland Palace in Bahrain, let us set your mind at ease. He's working and trying to shed that troublesome "child actor" label, not slowly chewing through his arm in an attempt to avoid another mirthless day of tending Jacko's expat llamas:
It seemed like an eternity had passed since Claudio made that wish at the Trevi Fountain after a poignant viewing of Pay It Forward some five years ago, but he'd never abandoned hope that he'd one day cradle Haley Joel Osment in his strong arms. And even though this wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind originally, the reality of hoisting the manchild aloft was just as sweet as any crazy dream.
