Uh oh. Haley Barbour is writing slash fic again! The ex-Mississippi governor, who is totally not racist, recently expressed his wish for New Jersey governor Chris Christie to poke the president of the United States, in the butt area:

Add Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour to the list of GOP pols that Fox News CEO Roger Ailes schmoozes with. According to records obtained by Gawker under the Mississippi Public Records Act, Barbour met with Ailes at News Corporation's New York headquarters for an hour on October 14, 2010—just three weeks before the midterm elections in which Barbour played a major role.

On tonight's Report—after poking fun at Haley Barbour's pre-entrance exit from the 2012 presidential race—Stephen Colbert defended candidate Mitt Romney against charges that he'd gaffed by suggesting America was in a "peacetime" state. Among other things, Colbert explained, "Congress never officially declared war on any of these countries, so technically, Romney is right—our soldiers are just spending a semester abroad!"

Arch corporate lobbyist, Republican fundraiser, and Governor of Mississippi Haley Barbour has decided not to run for president. He doesn't have that "absolute fire in the belly," he says in a statement. We're glad to hear that he doesn't have the farts, but saddened that he won't run for president. Oh well. Let's blame the wife!

Running for president is perhaps the most surefire way to destroy your family life and depress your close relatives forever. Just imagine if your spouse came in and said, "I've decided I want to run for president." Does anyone ever react positively to this announcement? "Oh great THANKS A LOT, FUCKO," seems like the appropriate response. Because within 24 hours, the national news will find and play that S&M porno you shot in college, on repeat. "Does America want a president," the news anchor will say, "whose spouse is a whore?"

Mississippi Gov. Haley "Boss Hogg" Barbour, a possible presidential candidate, doesn't want to seem so racist. First he pardoned two black ladies in a kidneys-for-freedom deal. Now he's asking the state to build its long-delayed civil rights museum. [via]

Two Mississippi sisters were released from prison yesterday as part of their kidney-for-freedom deal.

Mississippi governor Haley Barbour has commuted the life sentences of Jamie and Gladys Scott, two sisters who were convicted of armed robbery in 1994. With one small condition.

Presidential hopeful Haley Barbour has clarified his fond remembrance of the White Citizens Councils of the Civil Rights-era South, whose members weren't community heroes so much as they were Klansmen in suits. Barbour added today that the Councils were "indefensible."

Mississippi Gov. Haley "Boss Hogg" Barbour is a funny guy, and he should run for president. The former Washington mega-lobbyist gives great interviews. What was it like, for example, when he saw Martin Luther King Jr. as a teenager?

Republicans officials recognize that the country is hurting. They were very clear today, after the invitation to their election night event leaked, that they will not be "partying" there. They will just have a huge event at the Grand Hyatt.

Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, a former oil lobbyist, thinks that oil remaining in the Gulf is a-okay, poison-wise. It's fine! Really. And if any water critters get smothered in it, well, toothpaste would have had the same effect.

Now that Barack Obama is the Worst President of All Time, which Republican do you most want to vote for in 2012? How about "corpulent" Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, eh? He's "discreetly building a complex political operation," right now!

[Barack Obama and Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour enjoy a delicious "snowball" treat in Gulfport, Mississippi today, after looking at the horrible oil spill wreckage everywhere. Doesn't Haley Barbour look tickled! Image via AP.]

Governor Haley Barbour hit the Mississippi politician superfecta: he's proposed something that is at once racist, sexist, classist, and bad for education.

Mark Sanford was totally going to be the next president, until he fell in love with Maria. Now, not so much. But Republican strategists have so many other Great White Hopes! What disasters will greet them?