In this week's New York Magazine, Adam Sternbergh ("dean of the celebrity think piece," pace Jeff MacIntyre) profiles former stunt driver-turned-MTV reality show star Lizzie Grubman. The best quote (which we, gotta admit, we got from Jossip) comes about midway into the article:

We were totally aroused when we heard someone referred to as "Big Unit" had arrived in New York; then we realized it was just new Yankee pitcher Randy Johnson and lost interest. But when Randy Johnson reacted like a puss in the face of media attention, we knew he just might be that special sort of new guy who keeps us entertained AND horrified at the same time! Coming to Randy's rescue is the pearl of the PR industry, Lizzie Grubman, who has some advice:

· Color all men and women around Gawker HQ miserable: Jude Law is engaged to actress Sienna Miller. [AP]
· Has publicist Ronn Torossian become the official Page Six whipping boy? After deriding him yesterday for trash-talking scary PR-ster Lizzie Grubman, the column continues to document Torossian's professional downfall (be it real or tabloid-imagined) by reporting that lawyer Ben Brafman has severed all ties with el Toro. [Page Six]
· Britney Spears replaces her longtime manager Larry Rudolph with his sidekick, Dan Dymtrow. Why the switch? Brit believes that Dymtrow can foster the hip-hop career of her hubby, Kevin Federline. Insert snickering here. [Lowdown]
· Unsuccessful tennis kitten Anna Kournikova is being sued...by her parents. Apparently daughter dearest doesn't want her progenitors around and is trying to have their names removed from the deed to a $5 million property in Miami. [Page Six]
· Teri Hatcher can't get laid. [R&M]

· Publicist Ronn Torossian calls PR girl Lizzie Grubman an embarassment to the industry. Because there are so few other things the industry has to be embarassed about. [Page Six]
· Actress Cameron Diaz reportedly pelted ice chips at the head of model Deanna Miller after Miller posed for a GQ shoot with Diaz's boyfriend, Justin Timberlake. [Lowdown]
· Miami prostitutes staked out the classy Ritz Carlton and Delano hotels for some celebrity action on New Year's eve. Since when did hookers soliciting high profile clients constitute as news? [Page Six]
· Supermodel Heidi Klum is allegedly engaged to singer Seal. Unfortunately, Klum has been seeing wearing a canary diamond engagement ring, a style which is forever cursed in the wake of J-Lo and Affleck's failed engagement. [R&M]
· Tsunami victims can take comfort in knowing that Kabbalah water is on the way. [Scoop]