Want to be a teacher? Found out recently that you have to go to "college" to be a teacher? Upset at the high price of college? Looking for the cheapest possible way to be a teacher? Groupon!

There's something charming about Andrew Mason's goofiness. "I feel like clout is something that builds up on your teeth," the Groupon CEO once told Today in response to a question about his influence. But with two top lieutenants out the door in as many weeks, you have to wonder if the antics are starting to grate.

Groupon recently disclosed it owes more to merchants than it has in the bank; the online discounter stays afloat only by selling new Groupons. So the Groupon's recent sales dive is particularly unwelcome.

Groupon plans to sell itself to the public at a $30 billion valuation. It's worth noting, then, that the online discounter has accumulated liabilities that greatly exceed its assets and is now running low on cash. The technical term for this is "broke ass poor."

Groupon is getting ready to go public, so naturally the online discounts startup has ratcheted up the rate at which it is bleeding cash, posting a $103 million quarterly loss, triple the loss for the same period last year. If tech bubble investors demand growth at any cost, Groupon will damn sure give it to them.

In your mercenary Thursday media column: Fortune this round from Forbes, layoffs at the LA Times, a BBC reporter is killed, the NYT turns to Groupon, Al Sharpton is pushing it, and new journalism grows from the cracks.

Because it loses tons of money, Groupon is promoting its IPO using an inflated income number that excludes marketing and customer acquisition costs. Why would you do that? Well, that's exactly what the SEC is now asking.

Sure, many business owners say Groupon is a terrible deal for them. But co-founder Eric Lefkofsky saved his worst deal for consumers. How does a 125 percent-interest loan sound?

Mortgage the hovel! Empty the penny jar! Leverage yourself to the hilt! Scrape together whatever meager nut you can, financially devastated Americans: Groupon is going public. You have to get in on this!

Did you catch the big Sunday NYT story about Groupon's plans to become a bazillion-dollar company by having clever 20somethings write its ads? It was something!

Paranoid crybaby Glenn Beck is leaving Fox News, but don't you worry, world's biggest suckers Glenn Beck fans: you can still get your "giving money to Glenn Beck fix," in the form of coupons, for chocolate!

In the oddly satisfying slow-motion backlash against Groupon, one of the chief objections from business owners is that Groupon takes a hefty cut of the proceeds for doing nothing but selling the coupons, leaving the businesses themselves with all the work and all the risk.

Groupon was finished with receding political footnote Donald Trump, and so the online coupon site pulled its advertising from The Apprentice website a few days ago. By yesterday, though, the two were back in bed together thanks to a coupon.

Hot on the heels of Google releasing its Groupon clone, Facebook has announced it will push online coupons, too, via a new product called Facebook Deals. Unlike its competitors, Deals will show up in your Facebook news feed. Great.

Google has launched a beta test of a Groupon clone called Offers, which promises to wring every remaining ounce of patience out of local merchants already besieged by the online coupon business.

Groupon clone LivingSocial just raised a terrifying $400 million in a funding round, half of which will go to the investors smart enough to get in early on this total knockoff coupon site. This comes just months after Groupon raised, like, a billion dollars in their own funding round. Is this even remotely sustainable?

Ceaseless couponing behemoth Groupon has provoked serious grumbling lately as businesses wake up to the fact that these deals may not be in their best interests. Today: business owners who've used Groupon speak!

Last week, we noted the growing backlash against the mighty Groupon by businesses (and employees) who are starting to think that Groupon's offerings aren't so great. More plainly: some believe Groupon and its clones should all be destroyed.

Among businesses, the initial reaction to the concept of Groupon was: "Give our shit away for half price? Well, it's good advertising." But now, that reaction is changing to: "Give our shit away for half price? Ehhh."

Incessant coupon-offering behemoth Groupon made a jokey Super Bowl ad about Tibet that didn't go over well with... well, anyone. (Yes, even though it was for charity, okay.) After a week of vague public anger about this relatively unimportant topic, the company is finally pulling the ads, reasoning—correctly—that the drama is not accomplishing the ostensible purpose of the ads, which is to help Groupon become a mighty, unavoidable middleman in the buying and selling of goods in America.